T who sent me an invoice for our "free consult" emailed me asking for feedback

She wants my feedback about the consult, I suppose to know why I didn't choose her. I'm really not interested in talking to her anymore, and I definitely don't actually want to list out all the reasons why I didn't choose her, but it feels rude not to respond, but also awkward and anxiety-provoking to email her back, and I don't want her to then email ME back...

Is this a normal thing to ask of a client after a consult when they haven't chosen you? I've done many consults in my life and never had this experience before, and I feel really uncomfortable with it. Good thing I didn't choose this T, I guess? Anyway, any ideas how I should respond to this situation?

You don't have to respond at all if you don't want. And you can block her.

Delete the email and don't worry about it.

I've heard of it. Some do this to improve their working and learn from their mistakes. I think it's a good thing.

You can respond however you want. You have no obligation to explain your reasons for not choosing her. It's ok for her to ask for feedback. Even though it's not a regular thing, it's not unprofessional and it's not unethical. She is allowed to ask for feedback. You are alowed to refuse to give it.

I, actually, would've loved if all the therapists I decided not to hire asked for my feedback. I would've told them so much! I wouldn't have felt uncomfortable about it at all. After all, how are they supposed to improve if they don't know why they were rejected? But, of course, as I said, you are not obligated to give it.

I would email her and tell her that I prefer not to share my reasons and would thank her for her time. Simple as that. In any case, I would respond. I hate when people don't answer my emails and phone calls and I never do it to others. I consider it rude.

I bet she bills for your responses, too

I don't think unsolicited contact from a professional obligates the recipient in any way. I do not find not responding rude.

What stopdog just said.

I had 2 T's ask me for feedback, 1 I did give feedback to as there was a very practical reason why I didn't choose her, the other one I ignored.

You owe her nothing, don't see this as an obligation at all, actually I think it is really cheeky of T's to ask this especially as they may not be fully aware of a clients difficulties.

Soup

It sounds like an automated business message. Not a sincere, personal inquiry from a T.

It sounded personal to me...she said:

Just want to let you know I received your cheque. Also, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate your feedback with respect to your impressions of our session.
Thank you.

Does that sound personal, or am I reading it wrong?

It sounds fine. Perfectly professional.

Again, it's my personal bias that feedbacks are great because they allow therapists to improve their work. If my therapists ever asked me for my feedback I'd feel respected because, as a client, I always wanted my feedback to count, but, unfurtunately, they never did. In fact, if the whole mental health field operated on clients' feedback fewer people would get hurt. Just my humble opinion. Also, I know someone who goes to the mental health agency whose work is entirely based on clients' feedback and this person is very happy about it. They said that they wouldn't be able to work with any therapist who didn't use the feedback system.

Of course, you don't owe her anything. It's not a question of what your obligations are in this case. You have none. The question here, as I see it, why not? It's a rhetorical question, I don't need you to answer it. It's up to you if you want to take time to reflect on it or not.

How about charging her for your feedback?

So you did pay her? Oh my... Have you voiced your objections- her mail sounds like she has no idea (or if she does she is unimaginably rude about it).
Well, if you do decide to send her FB too, could you be open about how she made you feel? It could be beneficial for you... I don't really care about her. Billing her for it sounds like a great idea

Oh, wait, is this the T who billed you for "free consultation"? Well, then I can certainly understand why you don't want to respond. Then don't. Being the kind of person I am I would tell her exactly what I thought about her billing me. But that's just me. In any case, what difference does it make how you respond anyway? There is no right or wrong here. It's just a personal choice.

I think I just don't want to talk to her, and also I don't have good feedback for her other than, "you were fawning over me; you wanted to book a session the day after the consult; you charged me for a free consult; you were too nice to me," and other pretty unhelpful things (or just uncomfortable for me to say).

And also I got an uncomfortable feeling about her, in the consult and after, and that makes me not really want to engage with her...

I would go with your gut then and delete away

I would want to respond and tell her what I thought about the *free* consult.

I believe the OP said she may have just assumed it was free rather than having actually been told it would be free.

This is perfect, create a paypal account, and send her an invoice for sending you an email!

Then don't respond. Delete the e-mail and don't give it a second thought. You don't owe her anything.

I would tell her about the confusion regarding the supposed free consult. If this isn't something you feel comfortable with, then I'd just delete the email.

I LOVE this idea so much!! Charge her for the same amount she charged you for the "free" consultation!