I thanked T for her very detailed and helpful reply. Than I said, but what about us here. Me & you. My feelings toward you?
T said yes, your relationship with your mother clouds the feelings here. You think because your mother didn't show she cared whether she lost you or not, that I to wouldn't care. But I would care very much and be sad when we eventually finish. But you find it hard because of your mother to trust what I say. Trust that would be true. Yes, this is a business contract, but I've said before - you can't buy my regard for you, and I do have regard for you - I than said I can't see you sitting here crying when we end. T said, why not? Why wouldn't I.
That's a a much of that topic I tolerate. I had to withdraw, go inside. It was getting very intimate. But, very comforting.
I asked T why am I acting as if the end is happening now? T said well I think you know it's got to be talked about and here is the best place to talk about it.

What a lovely discussion. Your t sounds kinda like mine.