Ugh...

I had a session with new T today and it's so confusing...the session was good; we had a good discussion; she was doing literally everything I asked/wanted and was being really open with me and stuff...but it just didn't feel right, still, even though when I think about it, I can't actually think of anything that she could have done to make it feel "better." And she is very eager to work with me and understand me better and get to know me more and all that...but it still just doesn't feel right. I'm still going to do a few more sessions at the very least, but I'm starting to question whether it's actually something about my "chemistry" with this T or maybe I'm just having too much therapy right now and either need to not do therapy for awhile or at least not while all these feelings are still there with my soon-to-be-former T...I don't know. Maybe the problem is me. It just feels like it isn't working and I can't quite put my finger on why.

It does seem like this T just doesn't feel right to you. I wonder if that is related to the end with your other T? Maybe nothing will feel quite right until you have finished your therapy with her?

I think this might be it. Maybe I will do a couple more sessions with the T, maybe two or three tops, and if it doesn't feel any better, I'm going to ask her if we can take a break and then if it feels right to go back to her once I'm done with my current T, then I will email her. And then maybe I should just see what feels right then? The only thing is that I would feel really bad about doing that after having five sessions with her...and also that my current T really wants me to find a therapist I'm comfortable with before we end...

What seems to be lacking so far?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing, except that I don't feel a sense of connection or "clicking" with her. Which is why it's all so confusing, because it looks right logically, but it just doesn't feel right, and I'm making myself crazy going over it and over it. What's lacking might simply be my own motivation to start over right now. Or it might be the fit, but I am just making myself so crazy thinking about it that I think I need to stop.

If you're not feeling it maybe it's a sign you don't really need therapy right now. It seems like you're putting forth an awful lot of time and energy trying to figure this out. Have you considered taking a break?

I think you might be right. I think I want to take a break, at least for a few weeks, and then see how I feel about the new T. I don't really know how to tell her that, though...I know she really wants to work with me and I think this might come a bit out of left field for her. So I'm not really sure how to say it, but I think it is what I want to say/do. Take a break for awhile and then reassess. I'm just not ready right now to do more therapy with someone else.

Would you share and discuss your feelings about how therapy is going with her?

I think I will probably do this at our next session and discuss taking a "therapy break."

How long have you been seeing this new T? I feel either I click or I don't, most of the time I don't. It has taken me several T's before I found one that understood my problems and accepted me.

I could be wrong, but didn't you have a similar reaction to your current therapist when you first started seeing her? (Liked her well enough, but you just didn't feel a connection?) If so, it could be a matter of seeing this new one over time. Maybe a break would be good to help you clarify what you're looking for; and if it's her, you might be able to see it more clearly after some time off.

I've seen her for five sessions. I also did five consults with different Ts and she felt the most right out of the five, but it doesn't feel like we've really clicked yet, whether because of her or me or current T or timing. I have a session with her today and I'm going to tell her that the timing isn't right for me right now and I need to take a bit of a break and email her if/when I want to book another session (probably when I finish up with current T and not simultaneously).