[SoupDragon]

At the beginning of my last session T announced that they felt anxious and they wondered why that was.

Never been said to me before and I was left wondering what on earth I had done to make T feel that way.

Ended up interpreting it that T was scared of me, either for their own safety or mine.

I have never even raised my voice to T, have a history of abuse and being bullied and wouldn't hurt anything / anyone.

I'm left feeling bad as I don't want to make my T anxious, but also shut down as I don't feel safe telling T things if it's going to trigger anxiety for them.

oh well, guess this might be the final "I quit" this time. I can't deal with the roller coaster of it all. It's just too confusing for me.

Soup, you have to ask questions, like "What is it that is making you anxious?" and let the discussion go from there.

Did your T say YOU were making her anxious? Or was your t feeling generally anxious and just wondering about it out loud?

My T has shared feeling anxious about me on a few occasions. It had nothing to do with him being scared of me, but anxious about my condition. Generally worried and concerned about me. I'd guess that's pretty normal for T's.

You have to communicate, not just guess and interpret and wonder.

[JaneTennison1]

Could T have meant she was picking up your anxiety and hoping to open a discussion about why you were aanxious?

[stopdog]

I have read where some of them talk about an emotion like they are reflecting what they think the client is feeling. It is not so much, in how I understand it, that the client is making the therapist nervous - but the therapist believes the feeling is from the client - not at the therapist (if that makes sense)

[msjblonde]

My T will sometimes say she is feeling emotions but she is reflecting what she is getting from me. I am useless at emotions, I don't understand them, not sure what they are for, don't really do that well at describing them. My T will quite often say that she is getting x and ask why I think that might be? usually I have no idea but experience has taught me that the correct answer is because that's what I'm feeling/displaying.

Could this be what was happening for you?

[AllHeart]

Were you feeling anxious when you arrived? Your T may have been picking up on your feelings. Projection happens a lot.

[BonnieJean]

((soup))

[SoupDragon]

Thanks for your responses. It just really threw me when T said that, like there was something about me that made T feel unc9mfortable.

I sometimes wonder if this is all worth it. I get that I have "issues" but maybe ultimately life is more peaceful just staying how I am. Is life long enough to get to the other side of therapy?

[moonlitsky]

Your therapist is using her counter transference to help you. In saying that I mean she is reflecting an emotion she is feeling that she knows isn't hers but likely belongs to you. This is most likely to happen when the client is apparently feeling nothing but the therapist is feeling the feelings for them. A well trained and experienced therapist is more able to recognise what belongs to him/her and what is being felt for the client. It is a natural phenomenon that happens all the time when we interact with others, but a therapist who understands it is able to use their feelings to help the client. I think that is what your was doing - to help you get in touch with your feelings.

Your reaction to what she said is transferential - your fear is you are doing something wrong or harming your T or perhaps your T is wanting to hurt you? It would be very helpful for you to go back and talk about it. You haven't done anything wrong and you T is on your side. As therapists we need to be able to feel all the painful and uncomfortable feelings - it's what enables us to best help our clients. It is our job to stay well in that and have others looking after us. You don't have to look after your T.

Moon

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Thanks for your responses. It just really threw me when T said that, like there was something about me that made T feel unc9mfortable.

I sometimes wonder if this is all worth it. I get that I have "issues" but maybe ultimately life is more peaceful just staying how I am. Is life long enough to get to the other side of therapy?

It can be hard to believe there is a better life on the other side of therapy, but I found there was.

((Soup))

[Coco3]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

You have to communicate, not just guess and interpret and wonder.

I agree, also with the other posts that T was probably saying it to help, but I think she shouldn't have said it like that. Or she should have followed it up herself when Soup didn't say anything about it. She could've known how her comment might come across.

[Sannah]

Hi Soup! I do that with people. If someone is really nervous I feel it. It is helpful for a T to be emotionally open to clients in order to help them. Her being open to telling you this could have been an attempt to connect with you plus it is her being emotionally honest & open. ????

I can understand how you reacted to it.