"It's not good for you to get what you want"

I still find it difficult to believe the T who said that was really on my side.
What do you suppose she really meant?

Depends. What did you want?

It all depends on what it is you want. If you don't know what she meant why not just ask?

I can't imagine how a therapist thinks they know what is or is not good for me. I would consider such a statement to be arrogant nonsense.

Granted, I don't know the specifics re why your T said this (context, the thing you want etc.). Still, a bit of a generalisation from her part which doesn't sit very well...

Also, I challenge her statement: if someone never ever gets what they want and never once did get what they wanted in life, I think it might be a pleasant change to actually - i.e. for once in their life, get their heart's desire. And in this case, I don't see how it would be 'good' not to get it. :/

I think a certain amount of frustration in life has as much to teach us.
But depends on what you were talking about exactly.
A parent is only ever 'good enough' at best. So a baby will always experience a certain amount of being frustrated.
It's in those times we begin to find who we are as an 'I' am separate.

It's if not getting what you want us met with emphaphy not shame that matters more. I think.

Taken to an extreme, as my parents did, "to prepare me for the world" - its a sadistic statement. Otoh, if what you want is a reward without the attendant work, i might tend to agree. Like the Stones and my t say, you cant always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you find, you get what you need.

I agree. You may or may not get what you want. But often times, you can get your needs met (but that doesn't mean the way you want those needs met).

I am often bored and lonely. I want my fiance to spend more time with me. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't or can't. But I still can get my need of socializing with someone elsewhere: my dogs, going for a walk, going shopping, my family, etc.

She likely meant that it results in a feeling of entitlement. Or that she hates you. Depends on your perspective.

Does she think she's the Oracle at Delphi?

Well if what I want is a bottle of vodka every night and unprotected sex with strangers then sure getting what I want is a bad idea. Ok i don't want any of that but there are things I do want that are bad for me like shopping spree. I am not doing it but there were times I did. Wish I didn't.

It depends on what you want

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This is really difficult to answer without any context whatsoever. Can you elaborate? Did she say this in response to a specific expressed desire ? Or just out of the blue?

This could mean anything in any given context. I can think of numerous "wants" that may not be 'good' for someone to have.

I want drugs?
I want to beat someone up?
I want to eat a whole cake in one sitting?
or...
'I want to have sex with (unavailable person).'
etc.

Is what you want healthy for you mentally, emotionally, physically? You don't specify what your discussion was about.

Oh hey, if she is the Oracle at Delphi could you PM me her contact info? I've been searching high and low for some answers here.

It depends on the context. Sometimes we want some rather destructive things that we don't need, and other times we want some good things that we don't need. And sometimes we just want the things we need. We really can't say anything without that info.

Generally speaking, though, my first association with this quote is that we won't always get what we want, so maybe in therapy it's good for us to work through the frustration rather than satisfy every want, which is unrealistic. But from that to this exact phrasing there is some way to go, because I think that in many circumstances it is nice to get what you want.

My T has said this to me more or less. For us it's a way of saying that therapy isn't about satisfying wants and needs, it's about exploring why they exist and why people think a T can provide them (as an oppose to providing it for themselves).
Actually last wee he said "be careful what you ask for because you might just get it" so its all about balance. What is therapeutic gratification for one person could be just indulgent in another, and a missed opportunity to explore a deeper element to the want / need.

I have heard this phrase too saying about me and I disagree. Okay sometimes people want something they don't really need.
I think it's not okay to not try get everything you want even if you doesn't need it, you can make a mistake but you will learn from this mistake.

That would be a cue for me to find out just what that is the T says isn't good for me to get...and go make sure I got plenty of it!! So, there!!!

You don't really mean it do you? So you think people should always try to get everything they might want? Only young children would always go for what they want. Adults typically need to do some thinking

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"Until we can learn to be content with what we have we will never have everything that we want"

Thank you abe lincoln!

She meant it pretty generally, I think, and she certainly wasn't talking about self-destructive behaviour. There was a companion statement: "You're very good at getting what you want."

I don't know what this means exactly but I can tell you that it would not make me feel very good. I would also feel that T wasn't on my side and would question our relationship. Have you talked to her about it? Maybe she can clarify where she was going with that.

"Youre very good at getting what you want" sounds judgmental and "ist" - like sexist or ageist or racist, like you manipulate people with your cute smile or something? Now im just curious! What exactly have you been getting??

If being good in getting what you want means getting good education or career that u want, then sure, but other than that I agree it sounds weird.

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