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Lauliza
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Default Jun 09, 2015 at 05:34 AM
  #21
There are certain scenarios where I've asked directly for an opinion and have gotten one, but here are times when it was the opposite. If I asked "should I finish grad school?" The answer is a resounding yes. I see my pdoc more now because my T is back in school herself but she would do the same. He is aware I carry a lot of guilt and H isn't thrilled about my being in school, so like you I'm seeking reassurance that I'm making the right choice and he is very supportive. On the other hand, he's not going to put himself in a position where I can come back and say I did something life altering because he told me to. So if I ask him something like "should I leave my H", I would not get a yes or no answer. Nor should I really - as an adult these are decisions I need to make for myself. Looking to others for answers to life altering questions is often a way for people who have trouble making decisions to deflect responsibility in case things go wrong (at least that's how I see it for myself since it's something I've done). The reality is a T doesnt have all the right answers and beyond the obvious, have no idea what is best for their clients. They can offer what they think based on your interactions together, or even what they might do in your situation. Otherwise, in most cases, they can't come out and tell you what to do. I think most good, grounded Ts know this and answer these questions diplomatically. But there are some with huge egos who are quick to pass judgement and offer inappropriate advice.
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tinyrabbit
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Default Jun 10, 2015 at 08:18 PM
  #22
I think what's helpful is if the T asks you questions to help you find your own answer. My t does sometimes suggest things, eg "have you thought of..." but never tells me what to do.
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junkDNA
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Default Jun 11, 2015 at 12:08 PM
  #23
sort-of. hes texted me/called me to tell me to take my meds. or like, go to bed. or stop drinking coffee in the middle of the night. stuff like that

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