[BayBrony]

So my T and I have a very close and loving relationship in a lot of ways. However we had a bit of a rupture about a month ago a day things have been rocky on and off since. Some of it I know is her personal life is busy. Someone in her husband's family passed away unexpectedly and her oldest step son is graduating high school this week. Mostly it's been inattentiveness...she forgets things I've told her or seems to.space a little during sessions. However last week she mistakenly made a very triggering comment about my body at the end of the session. I completely dissociated. She tried to explain what she meant and then just said " well its time to.wrap up"

I started wrapping up so enthusiastically that she realized perhaps her judgements was in error and she tried to.talk it through more...but I was in that dissociative place where everything sounded weird and impossible to understand. Obviously after a few minutes I left.

My sessions have sucked since. I felt like just a job and nothing else. I couldn't even talk and she was throwing me out of the office. Plus she said to.message her if I needed her and she'd be there...I messaged her. And she wasn't. Later she said she had an "urgent" matter. Now I can't bring myself to talk about anything, knowing that if I melt down she will.just want to.get rid of me and if I need support it won't be there.

I've brought it up once but she kind of redirected the conversation.

I'm not sure what to.do. right now therapy feels like a big waste of time

[Favorite Jeans]

Unfortunately it seems from what I read here that some T's don't seem to handle anger or meltdowns very well. I think though that most Ts not only handle it but seem positively excited by it, especially if this is a new emotion for you to express at T. So go ahead, tell her even if you're mad.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

Unfortunately it seems from what I read here that some T's don't seem to handle anger or meltdowns very well. I think though that most Ts not only handle it but seem positively excited by it, especially if this is a new emotion for you to express at T. So go ahead, tell her even if you're mad.

I'm really not mad though. More confused as to what is going on and what to do about it.

[BayBrony]

I mean I love my T. And I've been making intense profress. And now it's all ground to a halt. I'm hurt and frustrated

[stopdog]

I changed what I trusted the woman with - what I used her for.
And made a power point where she finally got that I did not find her talking useful.

[Rive.]

Seems T has some explaining to do! More seriously, I think this really needs to be nipped in the bud. Otherwise it will only fester and not only make you feel more dreadful but maybe lead to resentment and/or confrontation down the line..

Try to bring in your concerns of not being heard, feeling 'dismissed' or that you are only her job etc. To avoid dissociating or her brushing you off (because she is not attuned enough and doesn't realise the import of what you are saying & feeling), could you send her something to read where you can explain things from your perspective? Might make it easier to then discuss in session as she will realise (hopefully) that this is important to you.

She accepts email, so maybe worth considering (+ adding in said email that you would like to discuss said issues in depth next session).

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by Rive.

Seems T has some explaining to do! More seriously, I think this really needs to be nipped in the bud. Otherwise it will only fester and not only make you feel more dreadful but maybe lead to resentment and/or confrontation down the line..

Try to bring in your concerns of not being heard, feeling 'dismissed' or that you are only her job etc. To avoid dissociating or her brushing you off (because she is not attuned enough and doesn't realise the import of what you are saying & feeling), could you send her something to read where you can explain things from your perspective? Might make it easier to then discuss in session as she will realise (hopefully) that this is important to you.

She accepts email, so maybe worth considering (+ adding in said email that you would like to discuss said issues in depth next session).

I've emailed in detail.about it. But I'm so lacking in trust right now I simply can't get any words out in session. It's just long silences. Today she talked almost the whole session. Because I couldn't put any words to any of what I was feeling. That in itself is very unusual for me.

I'm very frustrated with myself and my T ...

[musinglizzy]

Bay, you know I completely understand where you are. It lasted 3 months for me, and although we'll never see eye to eye about our issue, we were both getting frustrated....I was just showing up. There really was no therapy. Now it took me three months, but I finally just tried HARD to let go of what hurt. It's not gone, but I just had to force myself to talk. ANd then it got easier. And now I think I'm starting to feel the connection again. Things "seem" better.

[Rive.]

Originally Posted by BayBrony

I've emailed in detail.about it. But I'm so lacking in trust right now I simply can't get any words out in session. It's just long silences. Today she talked almost the whole session. Because I couldn't put any words to any of what I was feeling. That in itself is very unusual for me.

I'm very frustrated with myself and my T ...

Would it be possible to ask her to initiate this topic and help you out if you can't get the words out? (provided I understood correctly, apologies if not). What you are feeling is very understandable tbh. I wish I could shake your T so she'd get her act together.

Could you possibly identify anything (e.g. something she could do or say) to help you open up to her and speak about the hurt? As in, what could she do/say to help you speak up? maybe then try to address this.. Does she at least recognise her part in all this?

[BayBrony]

Well. ...i.think she is going to try to bring it up tomorrow though that doesn't guarantee I'll be able to actually talk about it...As far as recognizing her role, she says she didn't explicitly promise to be there for me after that session if I message. She just said "message me if you need to. I'll be available"...so it wasn't like she promised she'd call me or something. Even though to.me it feels like more or less the same thing. It's hard to tell what she thinks sometimes.