Therapy and core beliefs

stopdog · Jun 16, 2015, 01:33 PM

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs? Do you know which you want to change and which you do not? Do you think it is choice or not? Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it? Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent?

(Created to not be insensitively changing the thrust of other thread)

gayleggg · Jun 16, 2015, 01:45 PM

I don't worry about my therapist trying to change my core beliefs mainly because he usually let's me decide what direction things go. He tries to help me change the things that I feel I need to change but never pushes me in a direction that I don't want to go.

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Perna · Jun 16, 2015, 01:45 PM

I go to therapy to better understand, not necessarily to change anything. That things might change as I better understand, even if what gets changed is what I think of as core beliefs; I'm open to that I think.

unaluna · Jun 16, 2015, 01:49 PM

I would have said "willy-nilly" rather than insensitively, but thanks! I think this thread is a good idea. Plus i like saying willy-nilly!

PinkFlamingo99 · Jun 16, 2015, 01:49 PM

I think it mostly has to come from within. Therapy isn't a miracle.

I would like to change my self-hatred and obsession with destroying mysekf because it ruins my life. I destroy everything I care about doing and hurt myself constantly but I think most of it is trying to change it myself.

Certain core beliefs I don't want to change because they make me who I am. But that one scares me because I think it will kill me eventually.

Chummy · Jun 16, 2015, 01:51 PM

I go to therapy to change my core beliefs. I know which I want to change, the ones that bother me and stop me from living a normal life. The ones that make me depressive. It's my choice what I want to change. My therapist helps me. I do not worry that she will try to make me change things I don't want to. I've been with her for a while and I trust her. She supports me in my choices. She will help me, but she won't make me do things I really don't want to do. It will always be my desicion.

divine1966 · Jun 16, 2015, 02:29 PM

No. My core beliefs don't need to be changed per se . I need to work on some of my actions and recognize some unhealthy patterns and stopping them before engaging into them. My t doesn't make me do anything. I actually know what needs to be done I just often avoid doing it. There was one time she kept saying I need to do something, she kept insisting and kind of pissed me off a bit. I refuse to do what I don't think works for me but that was one time only.

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velcro003 · Jun 16, 2015, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs? Do you know which you want to change and which you do not? Do you think it is choice or not? Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it? Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent?

(Created to not be insensitively changing the thrust of other thread)

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs? Not intentionally, no.

Do you know which you want to change and which you do not? Nope, not even sure I have "core beliefs"

Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it. Well since I don't know if I have any, or if i do, if it is detrimental to my life, I guess I have no opinion on if I think the therapist/therapy can change it. In theory, I suppose so.

Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent? No

Leah123 · Jun 16, 2015, 03:34 PM

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs?
No. Indeed, I'd say therapy is best for reinforcing my core beliefs.

Do you know which you want to change and which you do not?

I didn't want to change any core beliefs.

Do you think it is choice or not?

Oh yes.

Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it?

I'd like an example from you so I could answer more accurately.

Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent?

I have changed in unanticipated ways, in once case it has not been pleasant, but I do not think she meant any harm.

BayBrony · Jun 16, 2015, 03:37 PM

I don't think I understood the concept of core beliefs and core shame as my therapist and own studies have described them when I started therapy but I knew I needed to radically change my view of myself. I knew I had very serious issues to deal with. My therapist has never pushed it though . In fact I basically putzed around for the first year making sure I trusted her and she just let it happen. My therapist rarely tells me what I should do except that I should trust my own intuition.

ruh roh · Jun 16, 2015, 03:37 PM

I don't go to change my core beliefs. I basically go to keep from offing myself. Along the way, I'm seeing deep seated beliefs that are contributing to my misery. My therapist doesn't encourage me to change them, but she does encourage being curious about them. I do think they can be changed over time. I don't worry my therapist will try to do this without my consent. (And yes, the being curious part is a therapist ploy, but I go along willingly because it's interesting to do.)

I don't think they're a choice. I think changing them is a choice.

stopdog · Jun 16, 2015, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

I think it mostly has to come from within. Therapy isn't a miracle.

For me, being changed without coming from me would not be a miracle but a heinous act against me.

Jun 16, 2015, 04:55 PM

I had no concept of mistaken beliefs ( the term I prefer to use ) when I began therapy. It was something I grew to understand as I grew to understand myself better. Over time, I realized how damaging those mistaken beliefs were to my life and of course I knew my thinking had to change fundamentally about myself if my life was going to improve. Of course it was a choice. I'm an adult now, no longer at the whim of the abusers who caused me to buy in to those mistaken beliefs in the first place. No one, ever, in this life will ever have that kind of power over my beliefs about myself again. I'm much stronger and much more intuitive about myself now than I was as a very impressionable, malleable child.

justdesserts · Jun 16, 2015, 04:57 PM

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs?Yes, I believe changing my core beliefs is part of the therapeutic proccess. I have some very negative beliefs about myself that need to be evaluated, and I hope changed.

Do you know which you want to change and which you do not? Yes.

Do you think it is choice or not? Choice is an interesting word. I think changing your core beliefs is hard work and requires an entire paradigm shift. If it was something, I could just choose, I would have done it long ago.

Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it? Yes, very much. Therapy helps me identify thinking errors and gives me a new perspective on experiences. I believe my core beliefs were formed when I was very young and not in control. Therapy has helped me take back some of that control over those beliefs.

Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent? No, the therapist isn't a mind controller. He can't do anything to me without my consent, especially alter my identity.

unaluna · Jun 16, 2015, 05:10 PM

Ruh-roh pretty much said it for me.

And pink flamingo, in that therapy isnt a miracle, or voodoo!

Remember, it only takes one t to change a lightbulb, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change

i dont see change happening willy-nilly, or against one's will or awareness. At any given point in time, you make a choice to act.

stopdog · 08:20 PM

I do think it matters if one finds their core beliefs to be interfering with what you want or how you want your life to be.
I don't think mine are interfering.
I took the questionnaire posted on the other thread and did not come up with anything. Not even much on the trust one - the trust one was higher than the others, but not in what that quiz put as alarming.

Jun 16, 2015, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs?

Hm, maybe more to "shore up" those beliefs that are basically sound but wobble a bit at times. During my 30s and 40s, I experienced chronic health problems, loss of career and professional identity, homelessness, loss of all my material belongings, and a new life below the poverty line. I'm still working on adjusting to all these changes.

Quote:

Do you know which you want to change and which you do not?

Yes. There are some relating to intimacy that I'm not ready to work on yet.

Quote:

Do you think it is choice or not?

It seems to be a choice. It does take work and repetition, though.

Quote:

Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it?

Yes, if the therapist is skilled and is a "good fit" for me.

Quote:

Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent?

It had never occurred to me that she would try that or that it would work if she did. I don't think a therapist is capable of doing that. If I thought she was trying to do that, I'd find a different therapist immediately. Why did you ask that? Now I'm freaked out.

scorpiosis37 · Jun 17, 2015, 12:38 AM

No, I don't really think I have any core beliefs that need to be changed. If I wound up being a bit more on the optimistic/happy side of things, that would be fine-- but I don't think that has to do with my core beliefs. What I find helpful about therapy is the relationship I have with my T-- the care, support, safe space, etc. I also wouldn't mind if therapy made me a little more extroverted but, again, I don't think that is a result of my core beliefs.

ECHOES · Jun 17, 2015, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Do you go to therapy to change your core beliefs? Do you know which you want to change and which you do not? Do you think it is choice or not? Have you found or do you believe the therapist/therapy can help if you do want to change it? Do you worry the therapist will try to do so without your consent?

(Created to not be insensitively changing the thrust of other thread)

Yes, identifying and changing my core beliefs is why I'm in therapy. Identifying helps me understand and learn more about myself. When I see how these core beliefs affect so many areas of my like, weaving through my life like a ribbon, I understand my feelings, reactions, decisions, etc.

I think its a choice to change them, but I also think that my T identified them earlier than I did (I'm in analysis) and incorporated that into our therapeutic relationship. Not to manipulate me, or do something to me against my will, but to give me the support and encouragement to be able to see my core issues and their effect. One area I just was able to see is how I hold myself back from what I want (many layers to this) on one hand, and rebel against encouragement on the other. I'm in a stuck in a depressing place right now, and that is the result of a strong core belief that I can't have good things in my life (also many layers to this). My therapist helps me by being supporting and encouraging, and by helping me look at what goes on, internally, kn my daily life.

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