How does your Significant Other feel about your therapist?

I am glad my partner has a therapist because I don't want to be the one to deal with her stuff including the past. I am not equipped.

My H was very supportive of my therapy and I could and can always talk to him about it. He could be a little jealous though, cause my T is male and close to my age, and because I had someone else in my life that I was so close with. I get that, I would be jealous too in his situation.

My situation is different in that I began seeing a pdoc initially when our marriage started hurting. My h was ok with it until he noticed me changing in ways he didn't like (like me being resistant to reuniting and going to grad school). We also had a joint session that didn't go well in his eyes. I thought it was fine, H thought he was on my side only and "snide"; he refused to ever go back. To my H's defense, I do think my pdoc had some counter transference due to his own divorce that took place about a year before I met him. And because of what I said he absolutely encouraged me one way over another and did probably come too close to telling me what to do. He clearly didn't think highly of my H based on what I said and our meeting there were times where it was obvious and y was more like asking your fiend for advice than getting therapeutic advice. Still much of what I got out of meeting with him has encouraged positive change in me even if it was a source of friction. My H blames him for problems, but they really are due to our own changes, not my psychiatrist.

We've since reunited and my pdoc had backed off. I think he recognized his own stuff that was in the room and doesn't get so pushy. I was also seeing a female T he referred me to that is in his practice for a few years and my husband was ambivelant about her and often even forgot who she was. He has little to no interest in my treatment as never has (I was in treatment with another doctor who passed away a while back but he never cared about it or what my issues were). He's not a support in that respect at all.

I think you should ask your therapist directly what they think. Sometimes we project our own desires onto them. Your T may not tell you what to do exactly but they might help you clarify your own feelings about it all.

I say this because I'm in a similar situation. My relationship has had rocky moments and at times my partner is/was emotionally abusive. The difference is that we're both working in couples counseling and addressing our issues head on. My partner is making changes along with me. I can't imagine how hard it would be to feel stuck with someone unwilling to examine themselves at all.

My T is helping me call out what I don't like about my relationship. She's calling the bad moments for what they are (abusive, controlling, manipulative, etc.) and I'm learning to reply to them more directly. That is hard sometimes.

Then again there are times when our relationship works out well. There is a reason we're together and I don't take those for granted.

I took a similar tactic with my T. I didn't even realize I was in therapy due to bad marriage. I just knew I was v. depressed. At first, H didn't care that I went bc I didn't talk about it. But then my T sent me for IP treatment at trauma place and H came to family week. By then, I was starting to recognize H was objectively abusive (it didn't just feel bad to me bc I was too sensitive, as he always claimed).

From the moment of my discharge from IP, my H HATED my T. Swore we had a special kind of love (just repeating it here makes my skin crawl) that my T didn't understand. He claimed she was a man-hater and was brainwashing me. He forbade me to see her. Eventually his thoughts became so hateful that I felt I had to warn her, bc I thought he really might just snap and attack her. (to answer the obvious question, H didn't know I changed my work hours and T time, so he thought I was being compliant with his demand).

Once she learned of extent of his potential for violence, she became more confrontational to me. Not to bully me, but to get me to see how dangerous things were. Ultimately she came out and said she thought I should file for divorce and restraining order, and that she would testify on my behalf. ~2 yrs from walking into her office, I did file and she did testify. I guess you could say ex-H was right to be afraid of my T.

Just to end story, T just recently said that she still expects him to jump her by her car and is cautious when leaving. I feel terrible for bringing such evil presence into her life and am so glad I chose her over H.

Best of luck to you tho! Reading the responses shows I' (happily) the rare case

Kudos to you for making such drastic and vital life changes! I'm glad your T is a rock.

My boyfriends have always been jealous so I realized its better that bf doesnt know about it.

I haven't read all the pages of this thread. My husband knows nada about my T. Zip. He says he doesn't need to know as he doesn't want to interfere in my T relationship.