So, things haven't been going so well as far as therapy is concerned. Some days I feel really connected to T and other days I wonder if he's even listened to anything I have said in the past 5 months. I have made appointments with 2 other Ts. I'm excited to meet with them and see if maybe things would work better with one of them. But, at the same time I feel like I'm cheating on T. I know that if he's not meeting my needs, I need to try to find someone who can. But at the same time I wonder if I've given him a fair chance. I realize that therapy is hard, and there are going to be bumps in the road with any T. But, I am tired of feeling like I am wasting a lot of time and money, and I'm not making much progress. Can anyone share their experience as far as switching Ts and what it was like?

[Love Your Suit]

Originally Posted by twistedangel00

So, things haven't been going so well as far as therapy is concerned. Some days I feel really connected to T and other days I wonder if he's even listened to anything I have said in the past 5 months. I have made appointments with 2 other Ts. I'm excited to meet with them and see if maybe things would work better with one of them. But, at the same time I feel like I'm cheating on T. I know that if he's not meeting my needs, I need to try to find someone who can. But at the same time I wonder if I've given him a fair chance. I realize that therapy is hard, and there are going to be bumps in the road with any T. But, I am tired of feeling like I am wasting a lot of time and money, and I'm not making much progress. Can anyone share their experience as far as switching Ts and what it was like?

There are ups and downs with therapy. I have some of the same, therapists are people too, though. But, you do have the right to seek someone else, if he is not meeting your needs.

[stopdog]

I think trying out new therapists is a good plan. There is no reason one cannot check out other ones to see if they will better meet what a client wants. I have checked out many others and narrowed it down to the 2 I see now. They each have different strengths and weaknesses.
I have never understood the idea of not checking out several. I don't believe in therapist monogamy.

I've switched T's. Most I switched very quickly because I knew it just wasn't a good fit. A couple I switched simply because of moves, job changes, etc. What I have learned it that there is definitely more than one good therapist out there, that I can find help from more than one therapist out there. So many think there just never could be another T for them, but the reality is that probably there is another at least just as good, and I've even found the change to be helpful because different T's had different approaches, and sometimes that new set of eyes and ears was exactly what I needed -- I just didn't realize it at the time.

I switched T's, I guess around a year ago now. I had some pretty torturous attachment and transference issues with T1, which at the crossing point, I wasn't willing to deal with any more.

I interviewed a few T's over the phone, and met the one I liked best in person for a consult. All went well, and I decided to see two until I felt I could make a safe break from T1. I did not tell T1 anything about T2, though T2 knew about T1. The two-T at a time thing went on about a month, maybe more. I definitely felt like I was cheating, but felt that it would harm the therapeutic relationship more by disclosing If I decided to stay. Plus, disclosing was totally outside my comfort zone at the time.

I'll be honest - the transition was a really low point in my life, but I don't regret it. Make no mistake, therapy is hard and transference issues are still a problem for me, but certain personality combinations just work better than others. T1 was too good of a fit, if that makes any sense. The first few months with T2 were primarily focused on issues with T1, and dealing with the loss of that relationship. It was really hard leaving T1, as if someone died. But having T2 in place was a good safety net.

Keep in mind, the relationship with your T is professional - which means you are completely within your right to look around without 'telling'. We as clients are disadvantaged in therapy in all ways except this. We have the power to leave when we want, and give as much or little reason as we feel comfortable with.

Thanks for the replies! I really hope that one of these Ts will be a perfect fit for me. I have such a strong desire to heal - I just need someone to help me who I feel is 100% on my team.