[secretgalaxy]

Sometimes, I feel like if I touch her, my hand will just go through, like a dream. I haven't told her about this, but I may in our session Thursday.

Anyone else feel like that, or something similar?

[RedSun]

I often think that she doesn't exist in actual, real life.
If I drove past her house out of session time, it wouldn't be there.
Hmmmmmm
Why do we think that?!

[stopdog]

I think they are unreal like actors but I have not thought of them as dream like.

[emptyspace]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think they are unreal like actors but I have not thought of them as dream like.

with SD

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by Red75

I often think that she doesn't exist in actual, real life.
If I drove past her house out of session time, it wouldn't be there.
Hmmmmmm
Why do we think that?!

Similar to a child who believes their teacher lives in the classroom?

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Similar to a child who believes their teacher lives in the classroom?

LOL! I vividly remember our legendary band director that we swore only existed on school property. He drove a Model-T Ford every day to work, but we never saw him anywhere but on school grounds -- never in town, on the road, etc. I can see how people can think similarly about a variety of people they only see in a certain context. I run into it all the time when my students encounter me outside of school; thus, I don't find my therapist's existence particularly mysterious or unreal.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think they are unreal like actors but I have not thought of them as dream like.

[CopperStar]

Therapy is hella hard for me because it always reminds me of my mother and just triggers the **** out of me. My mother's emotions when it comes to empathy, concern, sadness, etc are generally fake. She knows how to say things that sound right and try to contort her face into the 'correct' expression (although sometimes she utterly fails and just looks like a demented clown), but there is no emotional energy there. Her actions and words also rarely line up.

So when I have a therapist sitting there trying to act like care about me and what I have to say, because they are being paid to do so, for the life of me I cannot trick myself into going along with it. Everything in my brain screams out against it. And yeah this can cause some weird paranoia and derealization issues sometimes.

[ThisWayOut]

when I feel like that, it is normally in a dissociative state and everything feels unreal...

[Petra5ed]

Yeah but I don't think anyone is real. Sometimes I feel like he might be one of my best creations.

[Favorite Jeans]

I know what you mean. I feel like my T is a figment of my imagination. She's kind of unreal and the reassurance and security I get from her is so evanescent. Maybe I'm still struggling with object permanence. I think best case scenario you're supposed to internalize your T's benevolence as your inner voice and sense of okayness within yourself (assuming that's your bag and the attachment is a big deal to you etc...). So they can be kind of dreamlike and not real in their role in our lives.

[JustShakey]

I feel this way about previous T, but not T.
There is a person called Dr. T out there. Sometimes I even look at her picture online, but she is not previous T who I love/hate. That person only exists in my imagination. I put it down to us not connecting very well, so I constructed the T I wanted in my head, only reality kept interfering, so as much as I love my creation, I also hate her because the real person I was trying to interact with plainly wasn't what I imagined.
Ouch. I've just explained the core dynamics of an abusive relationship.

Yes. Especially since my therapist is on the other side of the world and we just talk on the phone/ skype.

[atisketatasket]

I don't feel that, but depending on how anxious I feel in session, she's either sitting 4-5 feet away from me, as she really is, or 20-30 feet, as she is not.

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Yes i feel like everything is unreal my psychologist says it is because I am dissociating.

[divine1966]

Mine is just a regular person, yes she is real. I never thought otherwise

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[PeeJay]

She doesn't seem real to me -- like her office is this place I go to and she's there and outside of there, she's someone else. And so she only exists in that form when I'm there.

I think there's some truth to that.

I had dreams that I saw my T in public and she ignored me or was cold. I think that's how she'd be. I wonder if she would even know who I was if she saw me out of context. I think I'd vomit on her shoes if I saw her out and about.

I guess then I'd know she was real!

[stopdog]

I actually do not believe the woman would know who I was out of context.

[Sawyerr]

Yes I do fear she doesn't exist/isn't real a lot. Usually when she goes on vacation, I worry that she isn't real and I made it all up in my head. I sometimes also fear that I will go to my session, and the place wouldn't exist.

[precaryous]

Yes, I sometimes think of her as a mirage...or as stopdog says, an actor. She reinforces my self-esteem by saying how good, thoughtful, nice, etc. I am...and I'm aware that she's doing this. I think she does it so maybe I will start to see myself that way...

Sometimes when I talk about the therapist abuse, she will say, "Oh, that awful man!" We go into more detail of how the abuse affects me, but you get the idea. Sometimes her over-doing it makes it difficult for me to believe her.

I wonder how she acts in real life.
I have read online reviews of her teaching by her University students...and they say she cares about her students even if they might not "care" for her...another student wrote that she would want T as her professor for all of her psychology classes...there aren't any negative reviews I can find. I'm glad.

Whenever I suspect that my therapist isn't real, I poke him in the tummy with an index finger and he giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

I told my T how I felt about this early on. The first time we sat back to back I felt like I was going to lean back and just fall onto the floor (as he disappeared into the ether), and then when I stood up the whole office would be like a shell of a building in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I suffer from dissociation so to keep myself rooted I hold onto the elbow of his shirt and sorta rub / stroke this. Focussing on the feeling of the fabric, the warmth of his arm and the feel of the fabric moving against his skin.
The family guy mock of misery made me think of this aspect weirdly enough.

[AncientMelody]

Nope, she seems real to me.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Whenever I suspect that my therapist isn't real, I poke him in the tummy with an index finger and he giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

OMG that thing is going to give me nightmares it is one of the creepiest things I have ever seen like ever it honestly scares me so much is it evil? I can't even explain how disturbed I am by it.