Seeing a younger T vs. an older T?

Yes I could see that. Not my situation with my dad ( mine would be if a t was like my dad I would get blindly attached to him for no reason and blindly followed him without giving it any thought) but i understand. I wonder if that's OP's story with seeking maternal transference?

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Yes, I suppose I do suspect I might blindly follow a maternal-seeming T for no reason and become super attached (this has happened with various mother stand-ins in my life). I guess the difference is that a T might be able to better contain it and help me work through it, as opposed to having the exact same thing happen with the next mother figure who shows up in my life who will NOT be able to handle it.

What are the issues she can't help with exactly?

Both of my ex -Ts were older (one was 59 and the other 66) and this was not from my choice (they were picked for me). They were able to relate to me though their children (one T had kids my age and the other T's daughter and I shared similar interests). I'm not sure if they were better because they were older, but it worked out fine for me.

That would be the million dollar question. I have asked her a thousand times and the best answer I've gotten is she doesn't have enough experience or knowledge to "hold" my distress. She can't quantify it any further than that.

that sounds really strange. She's a therapist but won't work with people in distress?

She does, but I have the most complex needs/issues of any client she has ever worked with, apparently.

She was working with you just fine, if I recall correctly, until there was some incident in which you were particularly distressed and it seemed that after that one incident she decided that she would not work with you further.

You'd think a therapist would be able to handle overdoses and such though. I really don't think it's that uncommon among people with mental illness.

I didn't see it as she was upset about overdose. I think she responded by calling don't recall police or something. I think op was upset with her reaction. I might be confusing different stories

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She wasn't "upset" so much as she was shaken up by it and wasn't sure she was comfortable or the best person to help me through stuff like that (her words). She had never handled something like that before and she felt like she wasn't experienced enough to help.

I somehow had the feeling that she decided against seeing you after you found her calling the police to be inappropriate reaction. I might be totally wrong but I thought you didn't really consider it overdose but she certainly did. I also recall you says her calling the police caused you not to trust her anymore. I think your reaction to her calling the police was the reason she bailed , not your actual overdose. I apologize if I am off but I feel there is more to it than you overdosing and her get shaken by it.

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I prefer providers who are older. I like having people who can actually relate to my experiences rather than just knowing what the text books say. I often say ask if they were in the same situation what they would do. I don't always do what they would or have done but I like the real life experience. Recently I had to have a young PCP and it has been frustrating. She is leaving the practice so now I will see somebody older.

She did tell me explicitly that it had nothing to do with my reaction and everything to do with her being unsure whether she was competent to provide me with the support I needed considering the level of distress I was feeling. And she also said explicitly that that incident made her less certain of her professional capabilities/knowledge/experience/ability to help me.

Sounds a bit like " it's not you its me" talk. Regardless I sure hope you find right t who can help you. Best of luck

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That was my sense of it too. Is there something wrong with that?