[stopdog]

I read this on another site - that some people like it when the therapist uses their name so I decided to see if it was a common (on this site) sort of thing people liked.

(some of the choices are not super serious)

[Tongalee]

I do. However, I really only hear her say it when I'm either dissociating or when I'm in a bad state and she's trying to comfort me so I'm not sure if it's just the tone in her voice that I find calming or if her actually saying my name is somehow comforting.

What else did you hear? How do people explain their like of it?

[stopdog]

On the other site - it seems some find comforting somehow.

I find it somewhat insulting and possibly a wily attempt to appear closer than she is to me - I know she is talking to me.

I voted don't care...My T very rarely uses my name. Only to get my attention if i am dissociating but not very often otherwise. But I do have auditory processing disorder and he may use my name and it doesn't register.

I do like to know he knows my name but i wouldnt like him saying my name every time he speaks. He only ever says it when thing are getting bad though or when i am really out of it.

[CopperStar]

I do not like it, personally.

I'm not used to hearing my name, it's so rare in day-to-day life to hear anyone address me by my name, and it has been that way for years.

I associate someone addressing me by name with someone trying to intimidate me. My parents growing up only ever used my name when they were after me for something.

I also really hate my name because my sicko father named me after an actress he wanted to bone. Of all things. I usually try to push for a nickname for myself with people who have a habit of inserting the name of whoever they are speaking to in their sentences.

However if a therapist addressed me by name, I wouldn't be mad at them over it. It's not like they would be able to psychically know all of this stuff. But I'd hope that my likely instant-upset body language and expression would be noted, and that they wouldn't do it again.

[JustShakey]

I do like it. Previous T never called me by name and it's still a sore point.

I use people's names a lot myself - had to train myself to do that as I used to be strangely uncomfortable with calling people by name. It helps me to connect (something I really struggle with) and most people seem to like it...

[growlycat]

It would be nice if CBT T used my nickname, not my full formal name. I've told him it's what I go by at work so my nickname is ok to use (just a shorter version of my formal name, nothing cutesey)

I'm not asking him to call me sugar bear, just the name the rest of the world uses. But he almost always uses my formal name and it's annoying.

[growlycat]

And yes I do see it as a trick/gimmick to foster closeness. But that only works if the correct name is used.

[Nammu]

I would much rather be called by my name that stuff like, Hey you, *****, and other words that get starred out. so yeah I want everyone to use my name.....unless it's the cops, I'm fine with them not knowing, if they write the wrong name down its a free pass.

Don't mean to hijack the thread but I once used a common variation of my name in a text to my T and he said it was being overly familiar. My name is quite long and I occasionally shorten it ..

T tried using my diminutive nickname once and I bristled and told her not to do it.

I voted "If it helps the therapist remember to whom she is speaking, I don't object."

She has many patients and I don't think I'm memorable enough to remember.

Sometimes it annoys me, because I'm the only other person in the room, but after the experience with my pdoc forgetting my name, I figure she can keep saying it if it helps her remember.

[kiwi33]

My clinical psychologist and psychiatrist both refer to me by my first name.

Similarly, I use their first names when I am talking with them.

I am completely comfortable with this.

[Myrto]

I do not like it.
The only times she's done it was when she was clearly frustrated/annoyed with me. I also associate it with my mom who uses my name when she's angry with me.

So I told my therapist to stop using my name at all.
It's not comforting at all, it makes me cringe.
I have no issue with calling people by their name or being called by my name outside of therapy.

[divine1966]

I don't care either way. Mine uses it but I don't pay attention how often.

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[brillskep]

I like it that my therapist uses my name in deep conversations when we feel closer. I wouldn't like it if he said my name every other minute. I like others to refer to me by my name now and then too - but not just in every context. Using names mutually is nice, but if someone always calld me by my name when I am not as direct with them does bother me. Fortunately, with my therapist things are very mutual with regards to using names.

[ThisWayOut]

Outside of greeting or to get my attention, I would prefer no one used my name. It's uncomfortable and disconcerting, especially if they use my formal name. I've asked prior t's not to use my name simply when speaking with me in session unless I'm checked out and I'm not responding. Heck, I've even asked friends and family not to use my name outside of those two situations.
I'm not sure where my discomfort with it originates, but it's often panic-inducing...

[atisketatasket]

I chose yes, though I'm not sure I like it, so to speak. But I tend to lose focus during sessions, and her using my name brings me back to the conversation. She doesn't do it all that often, maybe 3-4 times a session, and it's invariably when she really wants me to pay attention to what we're talking about. So I would call it a necessary evil.

[Ellahmae]

I don't like it when anyone uses my name, it's never been associated with good so whenever I hear it it's instant panic.

[ruh roh]

I don't think I notice, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't. Many people (including my last therapist) slip up and use my last name as a first name and it makes me feel invisible, so the fact she hasn't done that is a big plus.

I do like it when my therapist uses my name in emails, though.

I'm a teacher and quite used to being addressed by name by pretty much everyone, so I am perfectly comfortable with my T doing so also (although my first name rather than Mrs. A). It honestly isn't something I give much thought to though. It really isn't about "liking" it or not. It just is what it is.

[divine1966]

My name isn't pronounced in English the way it sounds in my native language. I don't have particular connection to English pronunciation of my name , it is impersonal to be. The only people who say my name the way we do is my family. It's weird. I pretty much got used my name is being said not the way I was really named and am called at home. Maybe that's why I don't really care if people use my name or not, it's not really my name per se

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[ruh roh]

The use of names makes me think of writing fantasy, where to use someone's true name is to have power over them. A Wizard of Earthsea is the perfect example of that, and there's a lot of truth to it. I heard Ursula Le Guin speak and she talked about this as not just a genre trope, but a real thing. There is power in speaking someone's name with intention like that.

[healed84]

I do like it.. I find it grounding most of the time when he says my name. I think generally, he only says it when he really is trying to get his point across.

[RedSun]

I like it. T doesn't say it often, definitely not every session. Very few people use my full name, just my h and a couple of friends, so I love it when people do use it. I hate shortened versions, but every ****er seems to think they can shorten it.