[Camperniki]

First T session is coming up in a week and I'm already nervous and anxious about it. Can someone give me tips on how to relax before the session, explain the process of the first session, and what to expect/reactions I may feel afterward? Maybe it'll help my anxiety to know what I'm walking into

[atisketatasket]

My first session was mostly information gathering by the therapist while I sized her up and decided whether I would be making another appointment at the end. I would use the first session to figure out if this is someone you could work with, and who has the qualities you want in a therapist.

I've never figured out how to relax before sessions, unfortunately. I do know that after the first session, I felt much better and hopeful that something might come of therapy.

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[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

My first session was mostly information gathering by the therapist while I sized her up and decided whether I would be making another appointment at the end. I would use the first session to figure out if this is someone you could work with, and who has the qualities you want in a therapist.

I've never figured out how to relax before sessions, unfortunately. I do know that after the first session, I felt much better and hopeful that something might come of therapy.

How did you know if you wanted to see her again? I feel like I'll be such a bundle of nerves, that I won't know if I liked/disliked them or just the process

[laxer12]

I was really nervous before my first session too. To be honest I don't remember much of it but it was really just me telling my story. I talked about why I was depressed after moving to a new city and the trauma I experienced when I was young. I'm not a very talkative person, especially when nervous so she asked me a bunch of questions so she could have an idea of who I was and what my challenges were that brought me there. She validated a lot of my feelings about my situation.

I actually did a short consult over the phone beforehand where she went over her fee, logistical things, and what type of therapies she uses. I had a lot of trouble talking over the phone so our first session was actually an extension of the consult.

Although I don't remember much about the session itself, I distinctly remember coming home and feeling like my brain had just run a marathon. I was mentally drained and exhausted and a few days later I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back. Thankfully I did and my T has really helped me in more ways than I ever could have imagined.

[atisketatasket]

I thought of it as meeting a potential colleague for the first time, almost like if I were running a job interview. Ask yourself about the things you normally notice in a new acquaintance: does this person seem genuine? Do I have a positive reaction to them? Does s/he seem professional? Do I want to spend more time with them?

The first session is relatively easy to talk in, compared to what comes later. It will be like seeing a new doctor for the first time and going over your history with them. The process won't be that evident. You may be uncomfortable - I was *extremely* uncomfortable - but I think you should still be able to gauge the therapist through that.

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[laxer12]

I think that unless a therapist is unethical in any way during the first session, you don't feel like they understand you, or you have a strong feeling that it isn't right, it is wise to almost always give a second session a chance. Some people don't know until after a couple months if a T is right for them or not. Especially for someone going to therapy for the first time, it can be hard to know what you want from a therapist.

I suggest giving him or her a couple of sessions before you really make up your mind on whether the therapist is right for you or whether therapy is right for you.

[LonesomeTonight]

It really depends on the T and the practice what to expect in the first session. One that I went to (only saw her a couple times because she wasn't a good fit) just asked me a set list of questions on an intake form they had to get a sense of my history and why I was seeking therapy. It was rather disjointed, and I didn't get a particularly good sense of her then. My current T, who I've been with for over 3 years, had a less structured first session, then gave me a list of questions to fill out at home and return before the next session. I prefer that approach, and it let me get to know her better, too.

You'll probably end up covering a bunch of stuff from your past, so it's likely to be a bit overwhelming. You may or may not have a sense of whether you want to continue with that T or not. I'd suggest giving it a few sessions before making a decision. It could take a little time to warm up and get comfortable talking. You can always ask the T questions, too, like what their philosophy on therapy is, what methods they use, etc. Good luck!

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by laxer12

I was really nervous before my first session too. To be honest I don't remember much of it but it was really just me telling my story. I talked about why I was depressed after moving to a new city and the trauma I experienced when I was young. I'm not a very talkative person, especially when nervous so she asked me a bunch of questions so she could have an idea of who I was and what my challenges were that brought me there. She validated a lot of my feelings about my situation.

I actually did a short consult over the phone beforehand where she went over her fee, logistical things, and what type of therapies she uses. I had a lot of trouble talking over the phone so our first session was actually an extension of the consult.

Although I don't remember much about the session itself, I distinctly remember coming home and feeling like my brain had just run a marathon. I was mentally drained and exhausted and a few days later I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back. Thankfully I did and my T has really helped me in more ways than I ever could have imagined.

I don't get to do an over the phone consult. I don't know if that means the whole session will be that or if we'll actually start doing some work that day :/

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I thought of it as meeting a potential colleague for the first time, almost like if I were running a job interview. Ask yourself about the things you normally notice in a new acquaintance: does this person seem genuine? Do I have a positive reaction to them? Does s/he seem professional? Do I want to spend more time with them?

The first session is relatively easy to talk in, compared to what comes later. It will be like seeing a new doctor for the first time and going over your history with them. The process won't be that evident. You may be uncomfortable - I was *extremely* uncomfortable - but I think you should still be able to gauge the therapist through that.

I actually avoid interviews and doctors. Generally I avoid meeting new people too. Part of why this is causing me so much anxiety.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by laxer12

I think that unless a therapist is unethical in any way during the first session, you don't feel like they understand you, or you have a strong feeling that it isn't right, it is wise to almost always give a second session a chance. Some people don't know until after a couple months if a T is right for them or not. Especially for someone going to therapy for the first time, it can be hard to know what you want from a therapist.

I suggest giving him or her a couple of sessions before you really make up your mind on whether the therapist is right for you or whether therapy is right for you.

Unless I get a bad feeling (or something like that) I was thinking I'd try someone 2-3 times and see. I know I hated my T when I was forced to go as a teenager and I got nothing out of it so I'm hoping for something much different this time around

[stopdog]

I still have absolutely no idea what the process is or was supposed to be.

I don't remember the first appointments. I think the woman asked me questions and I answered them.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

You'll probably end up covering a bunch of stuff from your past, so it's likely to be a bit overwhelming. You may or may not have a sense of whether you want to continue with that T or not. I'd suggest giving it a few sessions before making a decision. It could take a little time to warm up and get comfortable talking. You can always ask the T questions, too, like what their philosophy on therapy is, what methods they use, etc. Good luck!

I just don't know what I'm looking for or what kinds of questions to ask or be asked.

[laxer12]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I don't get to do an over the phone consult. I don't know if that means the whole session will be that or if we'll actually start doing some work that day :/

You probably won't do much work in the first session. The therapist might want you to try a couple of things he or she may think would help you. I know my T suggested that I journal at the end of my first session. I wan't too receptive about that suggestion so we talked about it a little bit.

To be honest, the phone consult was not a good idea for me. I was too nervous and it was really hard for her to have a good conversation with me when she couldn't see me. I think if you're nervous, it's best to keep it face-to-face to start. Just my opinion though.

It doesn't take them long to explain the logistical things so that will definitely not be the entire session. And I wouldn't worry too much about what kinds of questions the therapist will ask. Being able to explain why you're there and maybe what your goals for therapy would be good to think about but I know my T didn't ask me about goals.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by laxer12

You probably won't do much work in the first session. The therapist might want you to try a couple of things he or she may think would help you. I know my T suggested that I journal at the end of my first session. I wan't too receptive about that suggestion so we talked about it a little bit.

To be honest, the phone consult was not a good idea for me. I was too nervous and it was really hard for her to have a good conversation with me when she couldn't see me. I think if you're nervous, it's best to keep it face-to-face to start. Just my opinion though.

It doesn't take them long to explain the logistical things so that will definitely not be the entire session. And I wouldn't worry too much about what kinds of questions the therapist will ask. Being able to explain why you're there and maybe what your goals for therapy would be good to think about but I know my T didn't ask me about goals.

I actually do better when I'm not face to face because my voice doesn't waiver on the phone even when I'm bawling my eyes out. I wish that had been an option for me but face to face is probably the best way for me because it's the scariest. I don't really have goals for therapy I just know I need it. Hopefully I can put it into words face to face. I prefer non face to face interaction because I am able to collect my thoughts better that way

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I just don't know what I'm looking for or what kinds of questions to ask or be asked.

There are some basic questions to ask that, if nothing else, will help clarify what to expect from this therapist.

For example, does she do short-term, goal-focused therapy? Cognitive behavioral? Both of those will come with homework assignments. Some people like that approach; others don't. Some like a combination of CBT and some other approach. It really is in your interest to read up on approaches to know what you're getting into. A lot of therapists say they are humanistic and/or eclectic.

You don't have to know what you want to get out of therapy right away, but it helps to explain what brings you to therapy (most will ask you that).

If you want between session contact, ask about that (emails, phone calls--will they reply?).

Unless you've seen a lot of other therapists, there's a good chance you won't know right away if this is a good fit, so just give it a few sessions and see.

[Camperniki]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

There are some basic questions to ask that, if nothing else, will help clarify what to expect from this therapist.

For example, does she do short-term, goal-focused therapy? Cognitive behavioral? Both of those will come with homework assignments. Some people like that approach; others don't. Some like a combination of CBT and some other approach. It really is in your interest to read up on approaches to know what you're getting into. A lot of therapists say they are humanistic and/or eclectic.

You don't have to know what you want to get out of therapy right away, but it helps to explain what brings you to therapy (most will ask you that).

If you want between session contact, ask about that (emails, phone calls--will they reply?).

Unless you've seen a lot of other therapists, there's a good chance you won't know right away if this is a good fit, so just give it a few sessions and see.

I don't even know which type of approach would be the best for me, since I've never really tried before. But I will think about what you've said and see if I am able to decide on any of the other things you mentioned. I mostly hope I'm able to say more than a couple of words at a time

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Camperniki

I don't even know which type of approach would be the best for me, since I've never really tried before. But I will think about what you've said and see if I am able to decide on any of the other things you mentioned. I mostly hope I'm able to say more than a couple of words at a time

You could also ask them to just talk more about their approach rather than just putting a label on it. Or find out if they're open to adjusting their approach to match the patient's needs. I originally went to my T because she did CBT to help with my panic attacks. But she also is trained in a more psychoanalytic approach, which has helped me with other issues, like stuff with my husband, my daughter, figuring out how childhood stuff connects to that, etc. So if I T uses multiple approaches, that would be a good thing.

[iheartjacques]

They will ask you why you think you need therap and what do you expect to get out of it?