[Lemon]

This topic came up a litle bit in Pink's transference thread, and it is something I've been thinking about lately. I noticed in my appointment today and in the past that I'll make little jokes when I'm trying to explain a reaction I've had to my T. For example, if the point I'm trying to make to her is about how I've obsessed about a situation all week I'll explain it in a way that makes it seem like I'm laughing at myself and see how irrational it is. Usually my T will laugh with me, sometimes not.

I think this is a way for me to make light of painful feelings, but I'm guessing at some point my T is going to try to get me not to do this so much. That worries me a bit because 1) it is automatic. and 2) it helps me avoid the real feelings.

Do other people joke with their T's? I love it when I can make her laugh so I don't want to loose that, but have other people gotten to a point where they've had to work on reducing their 'making light of a situation' tendencies?

I have made jokes, but once it was apparently not appropriate and my therapist called me on in...because were were really dealing with some very deep and serious stuff at the moment.

i can't recall the exact details at the moment...i keep thinking i'll remember...but after my T called me on it...i was disturbed that i was laughing during such a critical time.

occasionally the need for humor exists...but it is about finding the balance i guess.

[MissCharlotte]

I use humor and T has noticed it. Sometimes I make jokes and he smiles and sometimes I make jokes and he doesn't. Ouch!

[sidony]

I've definitely been called on inappropriately laughing at something. I think I was telling my therapist about a series of bad events and he asked me why I was laughing. I think I said "because it's just such a mess that it's funny." And he was like no it isn't.... I felt really strange about that.

We do sometimes use regular humor. One or the other of us will make a joke. Sometimes he'll make a joke when I'm being all anxious and it's helpful.

Sidony

[Lemon]

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sidony said:
Sometimes he'll make a joke when I'm being all anxious and it's helpful.

Sidony

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I love it when my T does that. One time I was telling her about how I didn't want to go out over the weekend to do anything. I said that I'd rather just sit in my comfy chair and be anxious and depressed. She kind-of laughed and said "yes, because that feels so good doesn't it". It was just an offhand comment, but I liked it and it made me smile even though it wasn't a joke.

[Perna]

I think retelling a story isn't the same as "living" it so it's almost all right to make fun of it, especially if you do see how amusing some things that were scary or awkward at the time were; I often am making mountains out of mole hills and that's worse, I think, than laughing at myself. If something doesn't deserve the "angst" then I don't know that not making fun of it is going to be a goal? There's no point in feeling how scared you were about something that wasn't really scary? That would be like reviewing how scary a roller coaster ride or scary movie is? If you feel sad/upset when you feel sad/upset, that's its own reward and there isn't anything else "good" to get out of that? So comforting yourself with humor is always a good idea then.

We often use humor between us... what makes me really appreciate that is we both have a similar sense of humor-- quite dry and sarcastic.

I make him laugh a lot. A couple times to the point in which he was really cracking up.

Sometimes I laugh at my own %#@&#!, when I know it's not funny, but I am doing it to avoid hitting the real feelings. I will call myself on it and say, "This is so not funny, but I can't help laughing."

Sometimes he can't help but laugh at me because of the wild things I come up with. For example, last week I told him that I use my medication as a "tool of destruction." I think I amuse him.

And other times, I can tell by his face that he wants to laugh... so I tell him, "Go ahead! Let it out!"

He is comfortable with me and I like that. He reads my emotions well, and would never use humor at an inappropriate time.

He will often slip things in, in a very dry way. I tend to do the same thing. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were talking about my impulsive behavior. I told him that I need to do something extreme to stop my impulsive spending-- that maybe I should become a Buddhist, and live without anything materialistic. Then we switched topics... about a half hour passed... he was telling me about something and slips in very casually, "well you'll have to, once you become a Buddhist..."