[Petra5ed]

I started a couple years ago and therapy is nothing like what I thought. I assumed I'd be dredging up the past, telling my life's story, but instead we seemed more focused on the here and now. I had assumed my therapist wouldn't be a major part of my life/ day to day thoughts... but here I am still obsessed.

How is your experience with this?

[ruh roh]

Mine is a combination of past and present, but the past figures much more prominently than it ever has before in therapy; partly because of current stressors that relate to the past, but also I think because this therapist is so much more capable of handling my past than any other I've seen.

I don't feel obsessed by therapy and/or my therapist, but it's a big part of my life right now and a huge support.

I couldn't have been begun to anticipate what a huge effect therapy would have on my life, my thoughts and my future.
I went to therapy needing some extra support as we had been through a series of bereavements and troubles, I thought it would be a short term thing to get me through a difficult period.
What I found is that the process of self-discovery was fascinating to me. I became intensely interested in psychological theory, and also, I became hopelessly attached to my therapist.
Even now with a different therapist I don't feel anywhere near done with therapy, and I've found alsorts of ways to make it useful that I never even anticipated.
The biggest way it has changed my life is that I'm now training to be a T. I never would have considered this line of work had I not experienced the therapeutic relationship and been exposed to the theory.
Therapy most definitely has changed my life.

[Leah123]

My 2.5 years of therapy has tended to stay focused on the present, but there have been very intense periods of days to weeks to perhaps a couple months that focused heavily on childhood trauma. I prefer to work with the here and now but it's important to tell my story at points and work through things that trigger me today so, we go there as needed. I'm absolutely invested in my therapy and therapeutic relationship: my T is a very supportive, maternal, consistent present in my life and the process of being attached to her is sometimes hard, plus we have frequent contact, so yes, it's on my mind a lot! Been an amazing and highly rewarding, if tremendously difficult process.

When I originally went into therapy many years ago, I had absolutely no idea what it was about. All I knew was that I was very depressed and not coping well, and I was sent to someone who was supposed to help me. As I have been in and out of therapy since over the years, I have learned to see it as a place where I can find consistent support and assistance in coping with my life in the present and in healing from the effects of a pretty traumatic past. I have never been particularly obsessed with my therapists or even with therapy. What really obsessed my life was the constant depression and PTSD symptoms that seemed to run my life.

I'm very relieved and grateful to say that those factors don't run my life anymore. Through therapy I was able to truly find me, a person I had lost far too long ago. I'm now living for the present and the future with my family rather than dwelling on the past that I can now see and accept as whatever it was -- it's the past and doesn't drive my thoughts, feelings, and actions anymore.

Therapy is over for me now as far as I can see, but I am ever thankful for the three therapists who walked through this journey with me and gave me this new life.

[iheartjacques]

Mine started off on present day issues with some stuff going back to the past. Some right back to when I was 2-3. Now it's stuff that happened as a kid and a teen. It's a back and forth process. Quite painful at times. The whole time, I've been attracted to him but I have to set it aside and focus on what I need to do. He is in and out of my thoughts. If it was a hard session, I might be remembering what I said (past stuff likes to torment me). Other times it's remembering I felt safe and accepted. Other times I've been pissed off and I'm silently ranting and raving at him, wanting to slap him silly.

[iheartjacques]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

When I originally went into therapy many years ago, I had absolutely no idea what it was about. All I knew was that I was very depressed and not coping well, and I was sent to someone who was supposed to help me. As I have been in and out of therapy since over the years, I have learned to see it as a place where I can find consistent support and assistance in coping with my life in the present and in healing from the effects of a pretty traumatic past. I have never been particularly obsessed with my therapists or even with therapy. What really obsessed my life was the constant depression and PTSD symptoms that seemed to run my life.

I'm very relieved and grateful to say that those factors don't run my life anymore. Through therapy I was able to truly find me, a person I had lost far too long ago. I'm now living for the present and the future with my family rather than dwelling on the past that I can now see and accept as whatever it was -- it's the past and doesn't drive my thoughts, feelings, and actions anymore.

Therapy is over for me now as far as I can see, but I am ever thankful for the three therapists who walked through this journey with me and gave me this new life.

That is the kind of outcome I'm looking for!

I think I'm still a bit resistant to the whole therapy process. A part of me longs to just let go and trust a T. But another part of me is terrified of fully putting myself out there and getting hurt in the end.

[AncientMelody]

Therapy is along the lines of what I thought it would be. I am the opposite in one regard compared to Petra5ed.....I was worried that I WOULD get really fixated on my therapist/psychiatrist because I tend to put mentors/health professionals, etc up on pedestals. That I like and respect her a lot but am not fixating on her shows me that therapy has been actually working.

I guess I didn't realize what a financial cost therapy would be, but for now it's worth it

I had NO idea that I'd still be in therapy going on 4 years since that first appt w current t. No idea at all. No idea of the ways my life would change for the better. And especially no clue at all of how attached i would become to her. All i knew back then was how depressed i was and how i knew i could not live like that anymore.

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[lunatic soul]

After few first months therapy relationships became my major issue and still it is.

[LonesomeTonight]

Mine has been a mix of the past and the here and now. It started as treatment for my panic disorder, then expanded to be about many other aspects of my present and past. What I didn't expect was to also end up in marriage counseling and then to develop such intense transference for my marriage counselor, which led to it being a frequent topic of discussion with my T. So it's like I'm getting therapy about my therapy at times. Therapy sometimes feels like its own little alternate universe that people who haven't been in it probably wouldn't really understand...

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have been in therapy for on and off 20 years, so I'm used to it being mostly in the present. I have also come to accept that it will be probably for the rest of my life. But I'm hoping it won't be long-term therapy, and one day just be "touch in" sessions.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Therapy is not what I thought it would be. I did not expect to become so attached to my T and have such strong transference. I did not expect to learn so much and be using what I learned in therapy to make positive changes in my life. Therapy has completely changed my life and I have such a good T. I am so happy I am in therapy and I am so blessed to have my T in my life.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

I started a couple years ago and therapy is nothing like what I thought. I assumed I'd be dredging up the past, telling my life's story, but instead we seemed more focused on the here and now. I had assumed my therapist wouldn't be a major part of my life/ day to day thoughts... but here I am still obsessed.

How is your experience with this?

I think it's important to focus on the here and now, but you also have to deal with issues from the past that prevent you from living well in that here and now.

I'm obsessed with my T at times, too. She's a major part of my life right now. But I guess that's a good thing because she is the only person that is giving me hope right now. She has saved my life many a time.

Therapy (for me) is confusing as heck, but I believe it does work. I choose to trust the process, even though I suspect I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life!

I had no idea how phony and fake and unethical therapists are. I didn't know that therapy would almost destroy me. I didn't know someone who is supposed to help a client could cause so much pain and hurt. I wish I had never gone into therapy.

[divine1966]

I started therapy to help me work on specific issues and being able to discuss those issues with neutral professional person. So far it's been exactly what I thought it would be. No major complains. I wouldn't continue if it was bad. I work two jobs and have very tough time scheduling appointments as it is.

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Therapy is not what I thought it would be. I wanted to get rid of my feelings not experience them. I only realised this too late and now I am trapped.

[divine1966]

I don't believe anyone is trapped, one can quit or seek different therapist

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Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Therapy is not what I thought it would be. I wanted to get rid of my feelings not experience them. I only realised this too late and now I am trapped.

I also had no idea that, for me, therapy would be about experiencing feelings that I had kept firmly down. What makes you feel trapped?

Therapys not what I thought.... thank gawd. It's much better

[amandalouise]

here in America therapy is individualized. by that I mean it focuses on what ever problems a person has...if a person is having problems with their present day life then thats what is focused on, if someone is having problems with things in their past then thats what the focus of therapy is on. most treatment providers are required to make sure a persons present moment life and coping tools are appropriate and stable before entering into the deeper diggings of the past. if they didnt it could lead to dangerous situations like causing the person to self injure and make their problems worse by causing flashbacks and other negative things that were not already happening to happen.

no therapist wants their clients to have more problems or not be able to calm their self out of panic, anxiety flashbacks when addressing the traumas of the past. usually those who cant end up being a danger to their self or others. and results in hospitalizations.

line in the sand is that treatment providers cant physically be with someone once they leave the session. outside of sessions the client needs to be able to take care of their self. sure a person can call and in emergency situations a treatment provider and client can make arrangements for after hours but mostly the moment a client walks out the door they become responsible for their self, their emotions, their actions. so to ensure the client is safe after sessions most treatment providers make sure the client has what they need, ...before....entering into the harder stuff.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your mental health treatment provider. they will explain to you why they have not approached working on those deeper past issues. it may very well be that their agency requires them to make sure your present is stable and you have all the tools like self nurturing, self regulating, self care to handle when things get harder in therapy.

[stopdog]

I think the problem is those guys don't tell clients what it is supposed to be like. They set it up so the client comes in without sufficient knowledge, talk about mysterious processes that they refuse to explain, and mostly just guess and hope that they don't make things worse.

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I also had no idea that, for me, therapy would be about experiencing feelings that I had kept firmly down. What makes you feel trapped?

It feels like I have partially opened a can of worms and the pressure inside the can will spray feelings everywhere and I can't be having with that. My T does at least make the experiencing of feelings relatively bearable. Plus over the years we seem to have a built a bit of trust there.
With my first couple of T I saw they were always asking how I felt and all that they did not last very long my current T backed off after I said I found these other Ts unhelpful which why I partly feel he was being wily as Stopdog says.