Question about touch in my therapy

I'm not trained in SE, but I think the major difference is that holding hands is reciprocal, while the other type of touch is not. She sounds like she wants to do something to you, to change something in your nervous system by touching you, but thinks it isn't good to actually do something in relationship. I wonder how your transference is interrupting the therapy. For me, in my therapy, it has actually been very useful when I was experiencing a type of transference / projection, and my therapist acted differently and in a more attuned way than the original person in my life. So generally I really believe in the type of touch that fosters being in relationship in therapy, but I also think it depends on your particular situation. your therapist is the best equipped to make a decision about that and you are the one who can best see whether herapproach is helpful or not.

I will try to respond individually later but I just had my session and my T said I'm over thinking it! She thought I had more of the transference feelings after holding her hand. That doesn't make sense because we hold hands every session now. Anyway, she understands why I don't like the other way, and she willingly let me hold her hand. She didn't object because of the intimacy. I feel relieved but still a little confused. So she was basically checking to be sure the touch was making me feel calm and not excited. I appreciate all responses and discussion on touch.

I thought I'd finally respond to my replies in this thread. The touching is still an issue for me.
Thanks, jaybird. My T tells me the hand holding is for support, not to put anything in or take it out. I don't quite understand that. Last session we talked about it again and she said the goal is if I would come in say I don't need to hold your hand. I said it was the child part who needs it and she said we have to get your adult self in there too. So I suggested putting my other hand on top of mine and hers so I can feel both. That felt good, and was playing around with our hands together like that, my 2, and her 1. I'm not sure if she thought that was appropriate or not. It felt soothing to me, but it was because her hand was between my 2 hands. I was in a goofy mood, getting relief from the stress of caring for my terminally ill husband. I don't think she totally approved of my playing, though.

We are each different. I love holding hands with my grandchildren.

I didn't mean casual; I guess I meant informal but I agree hand holding can be intimate. In my dating days, it wasn't that intimate though. I used to hate hugs by anyone, friends or relatives. To me, hugs were intimate because you're touching bodies. Ick!

I am always fascinated with posts re touch. As a lot of you know I see a body psychotherapist who is also trained in biodynamic massage. My therapy can be anything from touch to breathe work to traditional talk therapy. For me personally this is what works best as my problems originally stemmed from ongoing trauma in the first year of my life so it was very pre verbal. I know exactly what you mean about hand holding as it seems to have a similar effect on me. Mine also uses the hand on the back etc and which I often say feels like she is pushing when she isn't. We never use any touch without either me asking or very rarely she initiates by asking if she can put a hand on my back or something similar. I think this is meant to help ground us to keep us aware of the therapist without getting too overwhelmed, but it could be wrong. Mine has never changed the boundaries though as she trained as a body psychotherapist where as yours seems to be more traditionally trained and then gone into SE. ( sorry of I'm wrong). It sounds like she is still learning and as you are so responsive to touch she is wary of making you worse. Mine says the transference needs to be lived through that I will internalise the feelings I get from touch when I properly let myself recieve it and she is right. I have so many issues around it that when she does hold my hand or hug me, at my request, I can rarely completely relax and let the feelings in, if this makes sense. The one thing I notice about all your posts though is that your therapist seems to care deeply about you and want the very best for you so I hope that this resolves again for you.
I know that touch isn't for everyone and I am often wary of posting as my therpy can be so very different, but it's working for me in a way that traditional talking never did.

Hi.
As I don't know anything about somatic experienceing I don't know anything about how touch is used in that specific form of therapy. I think that touch has been a tricky thing in your therapy because basically your therapy has been about how attached you are to therapists. And in the past the touch was feeding that. So now that she's practicing this modality that has touch as a part of it I think she's trying to use it within that format. I just don't know how touch is used particularly in this therapy. I know for some people for example with sensory processing disorder, in which one's nervous system is going nonstop at a very high activated level, deep pressure is what works. So perhaps this is something that's a part of the therapy and as the hand holding has been a trigger for your transference in the past maybe this feels more theraputic to her to try.