[Tongalee]

Please, don't get me wrong. I care very much for my therapist and have enjoyed our connection, though the work has been difficult. I don't want to have people bash her or tell me I need to find another therapist because of what happened today.

So I had a rough morning following some difficult dreams that centered around a fear that I have and that has been paralyzing since my childhood. However, when I went to tell her the story and the fear, she laughed! It's wasn't hard, or for long, but it really made me sad and a touch angry. We were able to put away her laughs and talk skit the full story, but it was still pretty unsettling.

What would you guys do?

that has happened to me i had been nervous about telling my psychologist something for weeks and i was shaking and he laughed it hurt i have never mentioned it and i dont think he would remember i just try not to think about it.

[sjkero]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

Please, don't get me wrong. I care very much for my therapist and have enjoyed our connection, though the work has been difficult. I don't want to have people bash her or tell me I need to find another therapist because of what happened today.

So I had a rough morning following some difficult dreams that centered around a fear that I have and that has been paralyzing since my childhood. However, when I went to tell her the story and the fear, she laughed! It's wasn't hard, or for long, but it really made me sad and a touch angry. We were able to put away her laughs and talk skit the full story, but it was still pretty unsettling.

What would you guys do?

Do you think there is a chance she was trying to take power away from the dreams by lightening the mood a bit? Sometimes my T will give a little tiny laugh and I think it's because she wants to lessen the severity of the situation and make me feel better. Maybe she tried that and her technique backfired? I'm an overly sensitive so I would probably let on how much she offended me. But the mature side of me would recommend try seeing the situation from her side before you go straight to the negative.

Well, since I can't tell you to find another therapist (per your request), I would suggest telling her how you feel at the next session and getting an explanation from her as to what exactly she thought was so funny. Then, if she does not have the common sense to apologize (some don't believe it or not) ASK for an apology! It may send her into a tailspin but it's the least she can do in light of her ignorance. Sorry about your T.

[Nammu]

Since you seem comfortable with you T can you ask here about it. It would be an important part of moving forward. Sometimes when we're exposed ( telling out fears) were more self conscious and sensitive to other people's reactions. Like sjkiro mentioned she might have been trying to lighten up the tension you were experiencing. You'll always wonder about it in the back of your mind, it would be good if you could ask her about it.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I think you should ask your T why she laughed.

[Rive.]

I'd take it up with her. Without being confrontational, try and put your point across that you were hurt by this reaction (or felt invalidated etc.), esp since it was painful for you to get it out.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt but definitely ask her what the laugh 'meant'.

[BayBrony]

I'd ask her. I have an eating disorder and fairly severe body dysmorphia and when I say something about my body that my T finds absurd she will laugh. It used to upset me but I came to understand it was her trying to tell me how skewed my view of myself is....maybe she was trying to help you understand that the fear is not founded on any truth....

[precaryous]

Something similar happened to me years ago. I was telling my T (at the time) about a series of anxious incidents. I told her I had been so upset and afraid I might go insane that I decided to give up, lie (lay?) on bed- and let myself go insane. I said it a little differently- but I was totally serious.

T laughed. She must have thought I was kidding or making a joke.

I didn't bring it back up but I wish I had.

You have a chance to let her know how you really feel.

[JaneTennison1]

I would ask. There may be a few reasons she laughed and it hurt you sso you deserve to know why.

[Leah123]

When we're feeling raw, vulnerable and exposed, it's easy to perceive actions around us as hurtful, we're sensitive. I was feeling like that Friday night and my therapist laughed at me when I said I was jealous of her dog, who she told me had just snuggled up to her (we have phone sessions). I reacted angrily right in the moment, and she got a better understanding of how I was really feeling.

Laughter is just human, and sometimes we all do or say inappropriate things, it's just a lot more glaring or unexpected when it's a therapist, because good ones are going to do it a lot less thanks to their training, focus and role in session.

But I hope you'll remember what matters, which is that (presuming she's a good T, sounds like she is?) that she was not laughing to hurt you.

She didn't want to be cruel, she didn't want to be rude, she didn't want to be demeaning.

Maybe you can give her the chance to make it right with you, that's a great part of therapeutic and other relationships, reconciling miscommunications.

If the relationship is as you say. This is survivable. Talk about it. I've had something similar.

[Tongalee]

Thanks everyone I think that I'll bring it up with her at our next session.

On one hand I feel hurt that it was not taken seriously and that she believed that my fear was stupid and therefore I was stupid for fearing it. But on the other, it was the end of her day, a long day, that I'm sure held many emotionally taxing experiences. She seemed tired. I thought at the moment, though I moved away from the idea as the day went on, that she seemed in a laugh or cry mood. I'm sure you ask know the one, where you're going to react in some way and it's either going to be to laugh until you're blue or cry a river into the world. I'm going to take many of your suggestions and stay in the positive or potentially positive light and just ask her about it next time

[Petra5ed]

If it's really bothering you then you should talk about it. Maybe it pushed a button, as in your parents laughed at you and you never processed that , something along those lines . Or... If you forget about it in the next day or so it might be no big deal. If you were talking about a dream I think those kinds of things can be silly, Hell, even the worst tragedies can and are made funny. (Check out comedian Tig Novaro if you don't believe me.). Sounds like she got serious when she realized whatever it is really bothers you, and that's what counts the most to me

I have found bringing up things like this with my T to be the most difficult but the most therapeutic aspect of therapy.

Originally Posted by Tongalee

Please, don't get me wrong. I care very much for my therapist and have enjoyed our connection, though the work has been difficult. I don't want to have people bash her or tell me I need to find another therapist because of what happened today.


So I had a rough morning following some difficult dreams that centered around a fear that I have and that has been paralyzing since my childhood. However, when I went to tell her the story and the fear, she laughed! It's wasn't hard, or for long, but it really made me sad and a touch angry. We were able to put away her laughs and talk skit the full story, but it was still pretty unsettling.


What would you guys do?

This has happened quite a bit with my t, it hurts and if am sorry that your t laughed.
I am wondering did she explain what happened for her in the moment?
When my t laughs, now, she always says straight away defensively, that she isn't laughing at me and that usually it is something in her, once it was a nervous reaction and a few other times she was reminded of something that happened for her in a similar situation.
Most of the time now it doesn't bother me but it did at first and it was very painful but we looked at why it was so painful and how I felt when it happened and it was a very old wound for me when my mom used to laugh at me and then make everyone else laugh at me. So now I am extra sensitive to situations like that.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[XenaStrikes]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

Please, don't get me wrong. I care very much for my therapist and have enjoyed our connection, though the work has been difficult. I don't want to have people bash her or tell me I need to find another therapist because of what happened today.

So I had a rough morning following some difficult dreams that centered around a fear that I have and that has been paralyzing since my childhood. However, when I went to tell her the story and the fear, she laughed! It's wasn't hard, or for long, but it really made me sad and a touch angry. We were able to put away her laughs and talk skit the full story, but it was still pretty unsettling.

What would you guys do?

I would ask her why she laughed and that her laughter bothered you.

[brillskep]

I'm sure that must be very hurtful. But I wouldn't even think that you should change therapists just due to a one-time thing like this. I also don't think your therapist was trying to do anything. Sometimes people laugh at inappropriate times, due to nerves, surprise, etc, without meaning any harm. Therapists are train to be more emotionally grounded, but can still make mistakes. The most healing thing is often not avoiding mistakes so much as repairing the hurt within the relationship. So my suggestion is to talk about it, even though it may be hard at first. If you don't, your therapist may have no idea how you feel, but if you do and the therapeutic relationship is a good one, you may find it a healing experience to talk through it. Just an idea. I'm really sorry this happened to you though.

[doyoutrustme]

I'm just chiming in to say you should ask why she laughed. It may have been nervous laughter, which still can come across as insensitive and warrants an explanation.