Got T today. I'm going to tell her abou the feeling of having gone of her.
I've been comforting myself before sleep with the thoughts of not liking her anymore.
What-is-that-all-about.
Maybe it's like a teenager when they begin to separate emotionally from the mother.
I read a book I know t has read and know she enjoyed and I found it not to be to my liking. I mean once upon a time I wanted to kiss the ground T walked on.
Than there's the summer break or lack of. I'm annoyed she didn't think to tell me she will, yes will! Be working through August.
Oh today's sessions going to be fun.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I'm not sure what it's all about, but I hope you and t can figure it out together.

T said not liking her isn't a negative thing. It can allow other things to open up between us.
As we talked T said something that caused me to feel angry and upset.
I realised what was going on in that moment.
T asked me to try and put words to what was going on. I nodded no. Then I tried to in a round about way. Trying to avoid, for now, t knowing fully what it is that I AM struggling with right now.
I did tell T I needed to dislike her because I know how she'd view the issue im struggling with and I don't have the ability to see it like she would and I'm needing to create difference between us so I can justify my thoughts at the moment. It's not that I exactly want difference, well I do and I don't. But I wish I could see this issue as she would.
I told T it's making me be 'that person'. That person I don't want to be, but I am that person!!! The best I can do is remain silent on the issue until it either resolves itself how I would wish it to do. Or at least I'm not adding to it by verbalising my feelings around it.
This was said with many tears. I will end up I expect telling T what the issue I am struggling with as a humanbeing eventually. For now I dislike who I have become concerning it.
I guess T would say " the fact I struggle with this shows my humanity". But still...

[skeksi]

I'm working with my T in getting irritated with him, fighting with him. It's very difficult. It sounds a little like what you are struggling with? I think learning that we can disagree with and even dislike our Ts without ending the relationships is teaching us something we probably missed out on as kids--unconditional acceptance.

No I have no trouble getting angry with T. This is my battle. I explained that to T toward the end.

[skeksi]

Sorry I misunderstood.