[Lurker777]

I'm interested in hearing the reasons why a T would terminate with his or her clients. From the mundane (relocating, health issues, retirement, etc.) to personal differences between patient and therapist, to the obscenely off-the-wall T meltdowns. lol

Anyone feel like sharing?

I've never been "fired" by a therapist or pdoc. We have mutually ended therapy because of moves, job relocations, etc. on very good terms. My current therapist and I simply ended our therapy sessions because they were not needed anymore.

[stopdog]

I have always been the fire-or - not the fire-ee

[Lurker777]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have always been the fire-or - not the fire-ee

Oh, that's another good question. What would make a patient fire their T. Do you feel like telling? No pressure if it is private. I'm just new to therapy and am having fun learning about all the ins and outs.

I don't really call in firing in my case. I simply tried several therapists along the way that I just didn't care for for one reason or another and didn't return. I don't stay with T's I don't feel right about.

I saw a therapist for seven years. I trusted him. He told me he cared about me. He told me he would never make me do anything I wasn't ready to do. He told me "it takes as long as it takes." Then one week, the day before my session, he called me and I called him back and he told me not to come unless I brought my husband. I was devastated. He knew I would NOT do that. I still have no idea why he wanted me to do that.

I did break down a couple of months later and called and told him I would do what he asked, but he never called me back. It has been really hurtful and harmful.

[Ad Intra]

My old-T didn't 'fire' me as much as she just got a new job and was leaving.

[LonesomeTonight]

You're probably asking specifically about T's, but I "fired" my p-doc after a new one joined my T's practice because I felt my old one didn't listen to me and always seemed rushed. The new one is great and really listens, so I know I made the right choice. I never officially told the previous p-doc I was switching, but since they're in the same practice and the new p-doc presumably had to get my records from her, I'm pretty sure she knew.

I've otherwise only left a T because circumstances changed, like I started a job that was far away from T or I didn't feel I needed the services anymore. Well, in one case, I sort of fired a T, I guess. I knew after a few sessions that she wasn't the right for me--I was suffering some severe anxiety during my pregnancy, and she just told me to make collages of my hopes and dreams and attend religious services. Which...wasn't helpful. After I had my daughter, I discovered my current T, who would never tell me to do those things! And who is awesome and has really helped me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't call it fired. I call it abandoned, but it's the same thing. My ex-T abandoned me 5 months ago. Everything was going fine and then poof termination. Still not 100% sure what happened and I'll probably never know.

Another ex-T left due to transferring to another clinic. And another hid from my insurance company that she had a lawsuit, so they kicked her off therefore she kicked me out. My parents fired all the ones from my childhood. I had to fire another because we were just playing mental games with each other. And another I fired after 2 weeks because she caused a complete breakdown which lead to me being hospitalized.

I've only fired one Pdoc. When I met him the first time, he told me I was fat and needed to lose weight. Yet he, himself, was twice my size and looked like he was going to collapse the chair he was sitting in. At least I fit in the chair unlike him!

[Leah123]

I've always done the "firing" as well. The only case where therapy ended before I would have liked was with a high school counselor. She was a tremendous help Freshman year, but had to relocate to China at the end of that school year though we had a lovely goodbye.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

I once asked my T what he would do if I tried to kiss him. He gave a very professional answer the long and short of which being, he would have resisted, but wouldn't have thrown me across the room / out. He added if he did join in then it would probably result in his supervisor telling him he couldn't see me again. So that would be one thing that would get me fired. However when we are finishing up our final session and I have nothing to loose......

[bounceback]

I have been lucky never been fired or abandoned. I had therapists retire or move and this time I am moving. I managed to have some long-term therapy relationships for about 5 years or more with some of them.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Lurker777

Oh, that's another good question. What would make a patient fire their T. Do you feel like telling? No pressure if it is private. I'm just new to therapy and am having fun learning about all the ins and outs.

The first one I ever saw was for a couple of years in my mid 20s. I could not figure out what was supposed to be happening so I stopped. We became friends.

The second I tried seeing in my late 30s for around 2-3 months - she was batshit crazy and told me I could not just quit without her agreeing - I said watch me and left without ever going back.

[qwertykeyboard]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The first one I ever saw was for a couple of years in my mid 20s. I could not figure out what was supposed to be happening so I stopped. We became friends.

The second I tried seeing in my late 30s for around 2-3 months - she was batshit crazy and told me I could not just quit without her agreeing - I said watch me and left without ever going back.

How did you end up becoming friends with your T? I find that to be rare.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard

How did you end up becoming friends with your T? I find that to be rare.

She invited me to engage with her in a hobby we shared and it went from there.

[Lurker777]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

he told me not to come unless I brought my husband. I was devastated. He knew I would NOT do that. I still have no idea why he wanted me to do that.

Bizarre! My T also asked me to bring my spouse. Is this a thing?

Sorry to hear he tossed you away just because of THAT! Ugh!

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by Lurker777

Oh, that's another good question. What would make a patient fire their T. Do you feel like telling? No pressure if it is private. I'm just new to therapy and am having fun learning about all the ins and outs.

I haven't actually seen that many therapists overall, and none, even the current two, for that long (longest streak is 12 sessions). But I "fired" one after 15 minutes - essentially for not observing any boundaries at all and ignoring my warnings to do so. And when I tried to leave, turned out she'd locked the door. I suggested she find a different profession. One that she might actually be good at.

Although as I hadn't yet paid her, it might not count as "fired."

I still have no idea why my first t fired me seven years ago. I wlrked really hard in therapy.i was trying to overcome a orexia and self injury, and i also have DOD. She had always promised she would never leave me.i had to do everything she said to keep her happy, so i tried as hard as i could to do anything she wanted me to, including a lot of really stupid things.

Then one night..she said i am not going to see you anymore. No she wasnt moving, or having any probleems, she said she was just "done". I was complletely shocked as i thought things were going well.

And then that was it. She was done. I still cant figure out what i did.

[musinglizzy]

This is my first "real" therapy experience and I've been with her about a year and a half now. I don't know how it will end. She will retire in 10 years but quite sure I won't be with her that long...

My T asked me if I would be interested in bringing my husband to a session with me. I was very nervous about it, but agreed, and she actually handled the session VERY well, and I think it was good for her to put a face to the name, and see how we interacted. She also suggested I bring my mom in, "let me at her" she said. I said NO WAY. I will not include my mom in a therapy session. Nope, no thanks.

[ruh roh]

No disrespect to whoever used the term, but it's not like being fired. It's more like having a surgeon walk away while you're still on the operating table. And they walk away having been paid for it. No apology. Nothing.

So there you are, trying to shove everything thing back inside that's spilling out, and carry on with no one to talk to about it.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

No disrespect to whoever used the term, but it's not like being fired. It's more like having a surgeon walk away while you're still on the operating table. And they walk away having been paid for it. No apology. Nothing.

So there you are, trying to shove everything thing back inside that's spilling out, and carry on with no one to talk to about it.

Totally agree.

[maykins]

I ended the therapeutic relationship with all my previous Ts when I realized they weren't "the one". Always on good terms.

I "fired" a pdoc for being flaky. I only had 2 pdocs - my current pdoc and the first one. We had like 2 sessions, and on our 2nd or 3rd session I can't exactly remember, I arrived at her clinic and the lights were dark, everything was locked.
A couple of guys from a shop next door told me "the doctor left a few hours ago".
I was really confused so I tried calling her like 5 times. Then I called my T who knew her, and she managed to reach her (how nice it is for a pdoc to pick up the phone for a coworker and not for a patient).
Apparently she didn't feel so good so she just left and forgot to cancel our appointment. Yes. She FORGOT.
The amazing thing is I actually gave her another chance but in our next session when I asked her something along the lines of how long should I take this pill before I feel its effect, and her response was "you shouldn't worry about things like that" (ffs!!!) like she was some hippie healer, I knew it was over.
I never "fired" her, I just didn't reschedule and found a new (sane) pdoc.

[Petra5ed]

I also agree with the mid-surgery analogy...

Well, I had never been fired until yesterday! Always pay my bills on time, I'm very reasonable, always on time, easy to usher me out the door, sincerely trying to work on my issues. I really thought I was an easy client if there ever was one. Still, I was fired yesterday in the first 15 minutes of a session, and I didn't ever say or do anything shocking!

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

No disrespect to whoever used the term, but it's not like being fired. It's more like having a surgeon walk away while you're still on the operating table. And they walk away having been paid for it. No apology. Nothing.

So there you are, trying to shove everything thing back inside that's spilling out, and carry on with no one to talk to about it.

In discussing the probability I used the term 'getting dumped' and T agreed that that was an appropriate term.

[justdesserts]

I fired a therapist when I found out he was billing my insurance for sessions we didn't have.