[fadedstar]

I always hit my low points on the weekend or when I'm not as busy. I schedule (or as my T says over schedule) myself so I can avoid my thoughts during the week on the weekend my mind just torments me. T has given me her email but doesn't want me going into any details over it because of her fear of privacy concerns. Aka my info getting out, hackers, etc and I respect this.

Would I just be a complete loser if I called her voicemail and cried though? I wouldn't put it in as an emergency but I'm kind of overwhelmed with the trauma thoughts and find I can be braver asking for something if I don't have to do it face to face?

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[Leah123]

I encourage you to reach out if she's expressed willingness to take your emails or calls. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I know how that is. Writing to my T does help. What other coping skills can you employ in the meantime?

Sometimes when I get overhwelmed about my trauma, I go into a special room I created with my therapist, a visualization, and I mentally lock myself into that safe space and enjoy the surroundings.

Exercise outdoors helps me too.

Soothing with a blanket, music, tea or other comforts can help.

Hope you find something helpful.

[pbutton]

I think calling her voicemail sounds like a very good idea. You're considering it for a reason - part of you wants to do this to help yourself. I'd encourage you to listen to that inner voice.

I also have a similar problem with shutting down if I am not over-scheduled. One thing that helps is for me to start writing down every thought in my head. I get out paper and different colored pens and I start throwing it all onto paper to show to T. I don't worry about it making any sense or following any type of pattern.

[ruh roh]

No, you would not be a complete loser, or any kind of loser. I adopted stopdog's approach (or my adaptation of it--email instead of regular mail) and email my therapist just to get rid of things. It also helps me feel plugged in somewhere when I'm unmoored and struggling.

So, yay you for doing what you can to get rid of those thoughts in whatever way helps. Nothing loser about that.

[fadedstar]

Thanks guys I did leave her a voicemail explaining what's wrong but it's not an emergency. I would email longer things but she doesn't want me to go into details over email as she's concerned there could be a privacy breach. The only thing I could send is a possible "please call me" email but since its the weekend I don't feel comfortable doing that unless it's a true emergency, which this isn't. I did bring up the biweekly need again and asked her to call me back.

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[fadedstar]

So right now I'm going to curl up in bed and try to distract myself with Netflix. I know I should get up and do something it's a beautiful day and a short walk to the pool but it seems an insurmountable task right now especially since I have a throbbing headache

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[fadedstar]

Weird thing is it was just nice to hear her voice on her voicemail. I'm not usually like this with a T but she's super gentle with me and hasn't scared me off and we're doing part schema (I have a lot of early awful traumas) so I think at this stage I'm supposed to be more dependent on her. It just feels so weird

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[musinglizzy]

I am the same way on the weekends. They are always harder for me. I try to fill the time in with things, but I get so unmotivated that it's hard to stay on track.

[Teeandtheneck]

Weekends often suck. My more positive interpersonal contact happens at work. On the weekend I am with my wife, whose depression completely overwhelms me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Glad you decided to leave a voicemail.

I also find that e-mailing my T helps (she's OK with me going into details over e-mail, but if she responds, she won't go into detail). Leaving a voicemail helps me, too, but I try to save those for times when I really want to talk to her (or marriage counselor). It helps just getting it out though.

[skeksi]

Weekends are rough for me, too. Being home is my worst trigger, so two days in a row is a challenge. What's helped me is scheduling things. Instead of running 3 errands in a row, I do one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening. It makes it harder for me to get overwhelmed by my feelings. I also make sure I have a to do list of a few chores and try to follow it. I have to choose stuff that isn't too involved or I skip it!

At my T's suggestion, I recorded a relaxation exercise he did with me. So when I start to get triggered, I listen to that and it helps a ton.

You're not alone.

[fadedstar]

Thanks I also ended up text messaging with my cousin since she understands how screwed up the family is. Funny thing is I have invites to go hang out with friends but between the headache and generally feeling like crap I just don't think I can take them up on it

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[LonesomeTonight]

I work from home, so during the week is often worse for me, since my H and daughter are here on the weekend. I also feel the need to have plans scheduled for the weekend and something during the week, even if it's a T appointment. Otherwise I just feel like there's nothing to look forward to or anticipate.

[dtrain0802]

Originally Posted by fadedstar

I always hit my low points on the weekend or when I'm not as busy. I schedule (or as my T says over schedule) myself so I can avoid my thoughts during the week on the weekend my mind just torments me. T has given me her email but doesn't want me going into any details over it because of her fear of privacy concerns. Aka my info getting out, hackers, etc and I respect this.

Would I just be a complete loser if I called her voicemail and cried though? I wouldn't put it in as an emergency but I'm kind of overwhelmed with the trauma thoughts and find I can be braver asking for something if I don't have to do it face to face?

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I email my therapist **** all the time. I don't care what others think. It's a way for me to get whatever's bugging me out in the open. We can then circle back to during the next session.

Originally Posted by fadedstar

I always hit my low points on the weekend or when I'm not as busy. I schedule (or as my T says over schedule) myself so I can avoid my thoughts during the week on the weekend my mind just torments me. T has given me her email but doesn't want me going into any details over it because of her fear of privacy concerns. Aka my info getting out, hackers, etc and I respect this.

Would I just be a complete loser if I called her voicemail and cried though? I wouldn't put it in as an emergency but I'm kind of overwhelmed with the trauma thoughts and find I can be braver asking for something if I don't have to do it face to face?

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You cold do that. But than you will be concerned how that could be received by T when she eventually hears the voicemail.
I found journaling helped me.
The reason being, for the first couple of years I seemed to go from one crisis to another then I would feel that emailing or phoning T would become to overwhelming.
Journaling often helped change how I felt.

[fadedstar]

I did end up journaling writing up some stuff (mainly the trauma stuff that keeps going through my head) along with a general list of things and plan on giving it all to T next time I see her

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[fadedstar]

Actually writing it out upsets me and I'm not worried about how she'll take my voice mail. I have a hard time opening up face to face or even talking when I get extremely upset. I know this sounds insane but I think the best thing I can do is hand her a pile of papers when I see her next and hope she can fit me in for a second session next week

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[LindaLu]

You did the right thing by leaving a message. I hope she respects you for it. Definitely can relate to hearing therapist's voice on outbound message. Can you ask for a simple voice recording or handwritten note of encouragement to keep at home?

[fadedstar]

I ended up giving my therapist a huge pile of printouts of things I wrote out. I have a hard time talking when I'm upset. I had to be somewhere immediately after so I said I couldn't go into those details now but soon

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[Leah123]

Good for you!

[fadedstar]

Thanks a little worried now that i did it because while I know she'll respect the trauma parts and not force me on that, she will mention that I probably have an eating disorder (or still have an eating disorder considering how you look at it). And part of me dreads that but part of me doesn't because I think I'd be upset on some level that she doesn't care that I spent the last week deliberately starving myself when she's already lectured me about ignoring headaches and thinking a baseline anxiety level of 6 out of 10 is acceptable. So, that's probably going to be uncomfortable to say the least

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[Leah123]

Maybe try and think about how much progress we make when we're uncomfortable, it's that feeling of making meaningful change. You made a meaningful change by being brave enough to share, and now hopefully, though it's uncomfortable, a lot of good will come out of it.