Feeling Abandoned

I moved to another state and my therapist is not licensed to practice here. We got my insurance to provide a waiver for a month and a half for the time span between when I moved and when I left for college. I found a therapist to pick up my case when I terminated with my therapist, but she didn't work out.

My month and a half with my therapist ended a while ago. But we've continued having appointments over the phone because I haven't been able to find a new therapist yet. I asked her why she couldn't just continue to be my therapist like this, and she said that our time was coming to an end. I told her that I know it's irrational but I feel like she is abandoning me in a time when I really need her. I told her that I didn't understand why she couldn't continue to be my therapist because if it was an insurance problem, the month and a half has been up a long time and we are still seeing each other. She replied that she has been continuing with me pro-bono. Which promptly made me feel like a terrible person for accusing her of abandoning me. I should be grateful. But I still feel like she is leaving me. I know it's irrational but it hurts so much

The therapist that I saw for a short time who didn't work out has been in contact with me as well. She keeps telling me that I'm just adjusting and that it will get better. I told her that if I was going to take her word that it would get better, and try to stay here at school at least until the quarter is finished, would she be in my corner 100%? And instead of assuring me that she would, she called me today and told me that she feels it best if I find a therapist who is closer to my school that could actually be there for me in person as opposed to just over the phone, like she would have been. I know that she is coming from a place of just wanting the best for me. She said that she knows how much I'm struggling and that she feels like she can't really do much to help me when she is so far away. I know she is recommending what she feels would be the most beneficial for my mental health at this point, but it feels like she is abandoning me too.

I already feel like I'm here at college all alone. I was supposed to lose my therapist, then didn't. Now am losing her after we've drawn out the termination. I turned to the new therapist only to have her not work out. And then I was going to try to make it work with her and she is abandoning me too. I don't know how much more I can take!

Sorry guys. Just had to tell someone because I feel so alone.

I'm sorry, Miswimmy.

What is your thinking about trying the college counseling center?

I have gone to both the counseling center (for psychological and emotional counseling) and the student disability office (but that's more for if you need accommodations or adjustments with your courses because of your issues). Neither were very helpful. They don't want to hear your life story, they want a problem so they can give you a solution. I don't have a clear problem. Without my life story, there is no context. So we didn't get very far.

That is what my counselling/disability centre basically did as well. Did you ask them for a referral in the community? That might be a good place to start.