[stopchewinggum]

How much do you actually tell your therapist? Do you, at least, tell them all the relevant stuff?

For me, I have a lot of skeletons in the closest, and I don't suppose I will ever mention most of them. She might think their relevant, but I don't. I don't see the point of bringing up every old trauma or skeleton. What do you guys think?

[divine1966]

I tell what's relevant. No I don't discuss everything as not everything is relevant

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by stopchewinggum

How much do you actually tell your therapist? Do you, at least, tell them all the relevant stuff?

For me, I have a lot of skeletons in the closest, and I don't suppose I will ever mention most of them. She might think their relevant, but I don't. I don't see the point of bringing up every old trauma or skeleton. What do you guys think?

I think every part of my life has relevance.

I do still find myself omitting stuff when I describe things to him, even stuff that might be relevant. I guess I still have a lingering fear of judgement even though he hasn't shown me any so far.

[iheartjacques]

Sometimes I leave stuff out. But he's a damn good detective.

Just to add, about 'skeletons in the closet' -
I asked my T whether we need to talk about all historical traumas etc and he said we should be "informed by the present" i.e we should talk about things from the past if they are affecting me now, but not dredge up things from my past which aren't causing me any problems now.

[stopchewinggum]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

Just to add, about 'skeletons in the closet' -
I asked my T whether we need to talk about all historical traumas etc and he said we should be "informed by the present" i.e we should talk about things from the past if they are affecting me now, but not dredge up things from my past which aren't causing me any problems now.

I agree with this sentiment. Still, T seems to think I suffer from trauma, but they don't bother me.

[nervous puppy]

Everything that's relevant. T would be bored to tears if I tried to tell her everything and I'd be there forever.
We only discuss the topics that give me problems. Then we dig to find the root of where my reactions come from.
I don't see a need to bring up everything you've ever done simply because there is most likely a larger underlying issue that made you do some of those things. Discuss the issue not the things you did as a result. Example: I was mad so I threw an object across the room and broke it. Just discuss what made you so angry.
Maybe not a good example, but I don't necessarily share the results of my reactivity, just that I am reactive to certain triggers. At the end of all this therapy, I don't want to be so reactive any more.

[precaryous]

I would have checked a choice for "all most everything." I have also told T a thing or two that I didn't think was very important but after hearing her opinion of the incidents, I found out they were very important....so I learned I'm not always the best to judge what is relevant.

I still don't tell her everything, though.

[AllHeart]

I used to hold back quite a bit because it's always been a struggle to talk about myself. Over the last couple of months, I've been telling my T more and more. About 2 weeks ago, I up and told her my deepest, darkest secret. Never in a million years did I think I'd do that! But now that the worst is out, I figure there is nothing else I can't tell her. My jig is up.

After I got to the point where I could say "Well I've said worse, so what the hell", I tell her everything. Eventually.

[ruh roh]

I was going to write that I tell my therapist everything as it comes up, then I realized that I have not yet told her my first name, and it's been about a year. Last week, though, she asked if I thought I could get to the point where I could say it, so that will probably be something we work on. But yeah...I pretty much say whatever.

[atisketatasket]

I had to go with "only what I think is relevant," though it's more like "only the things I want help dealing with."

[stopdog]

I tell the woman what I think is relevant to things she has proven reasonably not incompetent to handle. The things she has ****ed up - I no longer bother myself with telling her.

[Favorite Jeans]

How do you guys know what's relevant? I often don't.

There are some things that are clearly relevant and have a major impact on my day to day life. There are some things to which I give too much importance and time in therapy and I'd probably best let them lie and move along.

And then there are all these things that seem like details or background and I don't think of them as relevant at all and T asks a question and suddenly OMG there's this whole area I haven't explored at all, not that I was concealing it deliberately or consciously, and it's deep and intense and major.

One time I told her about a misunderstanding I had with my kid where he was terribly hurt and panic-stricken because he thought I'd left him behind in anger when in fact I'd just gone to park the car somewhere legal and I wasn't angry at all. I was telling her about it because honestly it had been a slow news week and I didn't really have much I wanted to discuss. (My son and I had talked about the incident and repaired that hurt so that was okay).

Well it turned out to be this huge session about abandonment and reassurance and knowing as a kid that your grown up is there and me being a latchkey kid and my home's front door having a sticky lock that I sometimes couldn't open and the literal and metaphorical experience of being stuck out in the cold. It was a lot of stuff I'd never discussed in the previous few years.

Stuff like that has happened even when I opened with something as insipid as "don't you hate that the store across the way has sandwiches that look good but aren't?" Other times I say something in passing and it truly has no importance even if she seizes on it and thinks it might.

Does this happen to you too?

I I tend to tell her everything. Little by little. I don't know if I'll manage.

We discuss whatever is relevant to the issues at hand. Is that everything? No, but it is everything that pertains to what I need to work on.

[nottrustin]

Didn't answer because my response really isn't there. I don't hide things from her but I also don't tell her everything all at once. Sometimes I just don't know how to say what is going on... A time is going on I am getting better at it. Also there has been things that I wasn't prepared to discuss not because I didn't trust her or was hiding but because I just wasn't ready. As I am ready the topic comes up naturally I tell her.

[brillskep]

Over time, I tell my therapist a lot of things, both relevant and some less so. But it takes me time and finding the right moment. I have skeletons in my closet too (as do a lot of people) and I share them one at a time, when I feel like it would be helpful. I was actually thinking about sharing one with him these days. But this waiting and sharing what and when it feels right for me, means that I also hide some things temporarily and that occasionally there are moments when I hide quite a bit. It's part of the process for me and, until now, my therapist's responses have been very helpful and healing in the moments when I share something relevant, like a skeleton in the closet as you put it. My timing works for me and I do find that it is very relevant to talk about exactly those kinds of things when I feel ready.

[flockpride]

What I think is irrelevant, usually turns out to be super important. I'm learning to trust the yucky feeling of revealing stuff that wants to be hidden.

[Chummy]

I tell my T a lot. I've told her things I've never told anyone before. I tell her things that are relevant to the now, to my issues. But I also hide things from her. I've hide the few times I was a bit angry at her. Lately I've been hiding some feelings and thoughts.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

I think every part of my life has relevance.

But do you have time to tell every part of your life to a t? How often do you see your t? My time is limited and I always have so much going on. One has to pick and choose. I'd have to see t every day for few hours to reiterate every single thing in my life. Doesn't sound realistic

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have told my T almost everything. There were 3 things I never wanted to talk to her about, yet we've now already talked about 2 out of the 3. Only topic left to discuss and that's my body: weight, diet, body image, etc. Sure there's some stories/things she doesn't know about, but that's because 50mins is not a whole lot of time to discuss everything.

[PinkFlamingo99]

I tell her everything recent but she doesn't feel the need to dredge up the whole past. Just sometimes.My old one did and I always left there feeling in pieces and it sucked.

[Inner_Firefly]

What an interesting question. I just ramble on about whatever comes to mind for 50 minutes. I wish I could tell T everything, but there is never enough time. I have too much to share.