Understanding myself

My T has been working with me on my shame about my secret, sex, and my body. She's been finding articles I can read to help me normalize things. It has been really helpful. I actually had an ah ha moment this week. I realized that everything is connected. It all stems from the neglect and abandonment I experienced when I was a child. My T told me that I lost trust in human beings and turned to my pets for love, attention, acceptance, etc. This explains why I don't trust people, why I love my dogs over any human being. I always felt bad when I have to tell people, like my fiance, that they are not number one on my list. Luckily, my fiance is okay with it because he is the most important "person" on my list. But this also explains why I grieve more over an animals death than a hunans. I always just assumed I was weird. But according to my T, this is common for when a child loses trust in people, and have animals in their life.

It's just nice to know that there are reasons I am the way I am. That I'm not simply crazy.

I have a better relationship with my dog(s) than I do with almost any other person.

my cat is my best friend. all my cats have been my best friends. losing them is so hard. i still cry about it. i even cry about my cat i have now dying and he is young and healthy.

My cats are my best friends. I am very close to them. I am closer to them then most people. I also cry about my cats dying and they are somewhat young and healthy. I could have written this post. I have always been closer to animals.

Pets are really amazing and it is hard for people to understand if they have never had one. Growing up, my dog was easily my best friend and the best part of my family. I was devastated when I lost her because she was the only one in my family I could rely on to always be there.

Last year when I was really depressed I adopted my cat and he changed my life. I didn't spend a dime for him at the shelter (well, they charged me $5 for a cardboard box to take him home in) but he drastically improved the quality of my life.

I'm glad things are starting to make sense for you and come together!! Just know that you're not alone in the way you feel about your pets

It's easier to love an animal. They won't reject us. But thers a limit to what we can receive from an animal

My dogs are definitely mean more to me than any person. I, too, am lucky that my husband understands that he is the number one "person", but not necessarily number one. Although we are working on it (for the last 26 years!). I would much rather cuddle with my dogs, than with him.
Your explanation makes total sense.

Sounds like your having some pretty good therapy?

This is an interesting thread! My husband always says that he likes animals better than people. I do remember that at one very bad time in his life, when he was having thoughts about sui, he said what kept him alive was our dog. In a way, I thought to myself, "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?" But I knew he loved me a lot, and understood.

A relationship with a pet is different from a relationship with a person. It's simpler, no big expectations, no grudges, no mind games or competition or any of the other crap that tends to enter into human relationships. It's very basic and very straightforward. Also, once a relationship is established with a pet, you don't need to worry that, down the road, that pet will stop loving you or go find someone else they think would be a better pet owner. Their excitement at being with you remains.

I remember my toy poodle, Peaches, would sit on the arm of the love seat when I was due home from work. The minute I walked through the door, she'd bark and wiggle and be beside herself with excitement to see me. Sometimes, she'd be wiggling so much, I was afraid she would fall off of the arm of the loveseat onto the floor. Oh, how I miss my precious baby! She has been gone now for more than 10 years, and I still have dreams about her from time to time. I have definitely not forgotten about her. No wonder Peaches is my chosen name here on PC.

Scarlet, sounds like you are doing great work with this T and I am happy for you.