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  #1  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 07:39 AM
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Myrto Myrto is offline
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As you may know there were terrorist attacks in Paris last night.
128 dead so far.
My therapist's son lives in Paris. He's studying there.
I'm thinking of sending my T a text to ask her if her son is safe. But I'm hesitant. Is it really my place to do that?
She must be really worried, even if her son is safe, because the situation in Paris is super crazy. So I don't want to add to her worries.
I don't know. What do you guys think?

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  #2  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 07:46 AM
Anonymous40413
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What are her boundaries on texting?
  #3  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
What are her boundaries on texting?
She's fine with me texting.
  #4  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 08:08 AM
Anonymous50005
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Honestly, I would think that is more of a close family and friend situation.
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  #5  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 08:37 AM
wheeler wheeler is offline
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I think it would be appropriate . I know my ex T wouldn't mind at all
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  #6  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 08:38 AM
Anonymous40413
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Originally Posted by Myrto View Post
She's fine with me texting.
Also if it doesn't concern therapy matters or sceduling?
  #7  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
Also if it doesn't concern therapy matters or sceduling?
Well, that's the thing, I don't know as such a thing has never happened.
  #8  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 09:29 AM
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Well, that's the thing, I don't know as such a thing has never happened.
Yes, this is very unusual, but this seems a matter for family and friends, not clients unless you are in a habit of sharing a lot of personal information and news perhaps.

We have a member of our chorus in Paris on her honeymoon right now. Yes, I know her, but it would be out of place for me to try to contact her family, etc. unless they actually sought out that kind of support. In our case, she let someone know her status and asked that person to share what is going on with the chorus via our FB page, but further contact just would not be appropriate right now. That's really for much closer friends and family.

At the most, a quick email just saying you are thinking of your T at this time with no inquiries for information or request for response might be the most contact that would seem appropriate unless and until your T offers up more information.
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  #9  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 09:40 AM
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I don't think a client should write a therapist in these situations. I also think it's possible that if she were waiting to hear news or relayings news back-and-forth getting a text from a client, when she was busy with exchanging info with family/close friends/ officials etc - would just be annoying
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  #10  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 09:59 AM
JaneTennison1 JaneTennison1 is offline
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Next time you see her why don't you just tell her you thought of her and hoped everyone was safe. Not intrusive but the caring is still there.
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  #11  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 09:59 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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I would absolutely write my t.

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  #12  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by JaneTennison1 View Post
Next time you see her why don't you just tell her you thought of her and hoped everyone was safe. Not intrusive but the caring is still there.
Of course, I'll do that when I next see her which is next Thursday. I was wondering whether in the meantime I could express something via text.
  #13  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 10:25 AM
JaneTennison1 JaneTennison1 is offline
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Me personally? I would say it's not my place to text.
  #14  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 11:36 AM
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Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
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I would text my t and tell her my thoughts are with her family and hope her child is okay.
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  #15  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 01:38 PM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto View Post
As you may know there were terrorist attacks in Paris last night.
128 dead so far.
My therapist's son lives in Paris. He's studying there.
I'm thinking of sending my T a text to ask her if her son is safe. But I'm hesitant. Is it really my place to do that?
She must be really worried, even if her son is safe, because the situation in Paris is super crazy. So I don't want to add to her worries.
I don't know. What do you guys think?
It depends on how close the two of you are. My T and I are very close and we text each other often, so I'd do it in a heartbeat. But, I, personally, would text something like, "Hope your son is safe in Paris. Thinking of you." Just not in a question form. That way she wouldn't feel the obligation to respond. I find that less intrusive. Given she has obviously told you about her son living in Paris at some point, and she has given you her cell phone number, I'm sure she'd be at least ok with receiving your concern.
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  #16  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 03:33 PM
AncientMelody AncientMelody is offline
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I think it's fine to text and express your concern. But instead of asking "is he ok" which would obligate a response, I think saying "Thinking of your son in Paris and wishing you well" would be a good succint response.
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  #17  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 03:44 PM
BoulderOnMyShoulder BoulderOnMyShoulder is offline
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I would want to, but I agree with those that say it isn't my place. I'm not part of the therapist's personal life, in times like this they probably are more concerned about their family and friends, not clients. lolagrace had a good idea with email, that's less intrusive than texting.
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Myrto
  #18  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 03:56 PM
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Myrto Myrto is offline
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Thanks everyone for your input.
I ended up texting my therapist "Hope your son is safe in Paris. Thinking of you" as some of you suggested because it didn't ask for a reply.
She replied anyway, saying she was very touched and that her son was safe.
Hugs from:
AllHeart, brillskep
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  #19  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 05:34 PM
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It's one of those cases where I would rather do the human thing than "respect the boundaries".
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  #20  
Old Nov 14, 2015, 05:44 PM
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I would definitely text my T. I'm glad your T's son is ok.

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  #21  
Old Nov 15, 2015, 02:44 AM
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I would text my T too just saying "I'm thinking of you and I hope everything is ok. That's exactly what I did with a teacher of mine who is there (we live 5 hours drive away from Paris and happen to go there in one day at times and here is being really a constant asking for people you know). Glad he's ok too!
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  #22  
Old Nov 15, 2015, 03:18 AM
Anonymous37842
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Glad you followed your on this one!

I didn't hesitate one moment to call mine on 9-11 to let her know I was thinking about her and her loved ones living up that way. Yeah, they're our therapists, but they're also human beings, and I don't think there's anything wrong or unnatural about a client expressing genuine care and concern for them and their loved ones in certain circumstances.

You did the right thing!

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AllHeart, brillskep, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, Myrto
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