What are therapists responsible for?

Sky - It sounds to me like this guy is not terribly skillful at what he does. I've had a lot of therapy. Typically, if I was getting upset dealing with something, the therapist would try to help me to "wind down" well before we got to the end of our session. That's part of the art of doing therapy. Of course, a client is going to find it upsetting to delve into certain sensitive issues. A skilled therapist knows how to budget the time. 5 minutes before the session concludes is not the time to encourage staying on an unhappy topic. To leave a bit troubled from time to time might be part of the process. But to be leaving a wreck over and over is not what therapy should be doing.

Therapists are human, and sometimed a therapist just plain dislikes a client. When that happens, I think real harm can be done to the client. I wonder if something like that might be going on. You have to be able to trust that your therapist has some warm regard for you and your wellbeing. If the T gives off the attitude that "Your pain is your problem." then I don't think you are going to be helped by this T.

I was in a partial hospitalization program where one of the therapists took a real dislike to me. I could show up to the program in a mess emotionally, and she would not even offer the slightest gesture of concern. One day, when she was giving a talk and encouraging group discussion, something I said annoyed her and she jumped down my throat. After the class, she came to me offering an apology. I had no real respect for her apology. The problem was much bigger than our verbal exchange in that particular class. The woman just couldn't stand me, and she was just sorry that she let her animosity show . . . with witnesses watching.

I wonder how your sessions with this T would go, if there were an impartial 3rd party in the room as a witness. I wonder if he would let you tape-record the session? Or does he have something to hide?

I suspect this therapist is not highly skilled, or maybe is just not a good match for you. A therapist is not there to become your best friend and shower you with love, but you should feel genuinely cared about.