[Ad Intra]

I want to tell her what's going on, but I'm afraid of her judging me nor being skilled enough to help.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Can you try and talk to her about a "hypothetical" situation. Or "your friend" has issues with self-harm. If she's smart she'll know it's about you. But she can't really do anything because you never admitted to doing anything.

Just from my experience, I find it odd that people are afraid to tell their Ts about SI. I tell my doctors right from the start. I know they can't hospitalize for cutting only. And most Ts now know that ultimatums or punishment don't really work. And most appreciate honesty so they can actually help you.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by Ad Intra

I want to tell her what's going on, but I'm afraid of her judging me nor being skilled enough to help.

Honestly? I just asked. One session I said "what is your policy on self harm?" she gave me all the answers I wanted to know.

[RedSun]

Umm, I emailed about it between sessions, cos I'm a coward
I just said, can you ask me about this, cos I can't bring it up
I guess, if SI is an issue for you, then you need a T who will,accept it and work with you. If your T DOES judge you or can't cope (though I'm sure neither of those things will happen) then she might not be able to support you long term anyway?

[SheHulk07]

I just bought it up during a session, and now it's usually a part of our check in. T1 keeps tabs on it to see if it's more often, more severe, what triggered it, etc.

[Stormyclouds]

I mentioned it as something that crossed my mind...to see the reaction ..which was calm,understanding and so nott judgemental

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Stormyclouds

I mentioned it as something that crossed my mind...to see the reaction ..which was calm,understanding and so nott judgemental

This is the approach I'd suggest. I hadn't SHed in many years, then earlier this year, I just kept thinking about it. So I shared that with my T and marriage counselor, and their reaction to it--seeming a little concerned, but not freaked out (after confirming I wasn't suicidal)--made me feel safe telling them when I actually did end up SH-ing a month or two after that. And then, I'd expected them to be disappointed in me or mad that I'd done that, but they were just...accepting. Like concerned, but accepting.

So I'd just say you'd had some thoughts on it and see how your T reacts.

I don't SH but I have had a strong urge to the past couple months. I want to talk to T about it but I fear his reaction.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I told my T that I had intense thoughts of self harming. I was afraid of her reaction as well but she was just really concerned. I mentioned after that that I had done it and she asked me what triggers it and how I can fight the urges.

I think its very important to tell a therapist you are self harming. They are there to help you to stop and find other ways of coping. Also T's tend to be the most accepting of it.

[nottrustin]

I would ask T straight out about how she handles SI. The first time I cut while seeing T was extremely difficult as I figured she would want to hospitalize me. However, I had to trust her and our relationship. I knew she wasn't the type to over react and just admit clients. She has told me that very rarely in her experience is cutting a suicidal attempt. She has never forced a patient to be hospitalized and after 30 year she doesn't intend to start. She knows that with me the few times I have cut they were when we were dealing with the most painful issues for me. She knows for me cutting is a way to release pain. She would rather talk me through the pain that is bringing on the need to cut.