[Bluesday]

After years of putting it off, I finally started counseling earlier this month. On only my second session, she ended it early b/c I wasn't talking enough! This makes me feel like it's useless to go. I'm never going to be good at talking about myself.

Dang, I'm so sorry you had that experience. I had a counsellor end really early too, because I wasn't talking enough.

A good counsellor should draw you out and help you start talking.

Maybe a different counsellor?

[atisketatasket]

Find someone else, already. My second session with No. 1, I spent the whole time having a panic attack. So I didn't talk much. If she hadn't been OK with that, I'd never have gone back.

[growlycat]

Give up on bad therapists, not on yourself!!

A good therapist will work with you where you are and not end early because you aren't speaking enough. That'a a bad therapist

[ChavInAHat]

When I can't talk my T just sits there quietly. (I've been going once a week for about 2 months so it's still early days)

This week after a notable silence I said I didn't know what to say and she said it is ok. She will sit there with me until I want to talk


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Myrto]

I often struggle to talk in session but my therapist never ends the session early.
She just sits there looking at me and waits for me to be ready to talk.
As she should be. That's what a good therapist does.

[RedSun]

Just a thought Bluesday...
It may be a very different setup in the US, I'm speaking from a UK perspective....counselling and psychotherpay are two different practices, with different levels of training and use of theory etc.
Counselling is great for those issues where you need a safe space to sort your thoughts, and be heard and 'held' (emotionally, not physically). This approach works best when the client is aware of the issues that they are bringing, and the issues are reasonably straightforward....

If stuff is a bit deeper, long term, harder to name or 'see', or affects bigger areas of life such as ongoing relationships, personality adaptations, or a diagnosis such as depression or anxiety, then a psychotherapist should have the in depth training to tackle those issues, sit with you whilst you find your voice, use theory and different approaches so that you can understand whats going on for you...Lehigh can take a long time!
So, if it feels a bit more like the letter scenario for you, a therapist might be a better bet than a counsellor, and may understand that this is a long term process for you.

Hope you find the right person for you.

[skeksi]

I think it might be a poor match. For some people, that kind of ultimatum can be helpful, but it sounds too stressful for you!

I struggled with silence in T for YEARS. I I couldn't talk until the last 20 minutes and even then it was like pulling teeth. T did lots of reassurance. I was working through some hard stuff in that silence.

When you try another T, let them know this kind of thing was painful for you--you can find out in the first session how they tolerate silences. Your process should be respected, and the right T for you will respect it.

[Stormyclouds]

In the beginning I had same issue. T was putting in a lot more effort than I in sessions. I was not talking. He would end sessions early like 5-8 mins. I always felt bad...then one day he did give me the ultimatum sort of. And it did work. I reflected back on everything and what I wanted in therapy...I went back next session and said I will talk...n I really really tried and it was a better session.
But this was after like 12 sessions.
2nd session...hmmmm....way wayyy too early to get impatient with aclient.

[Bluesday]

Just to clarify, this is my counselor and I have a separate psychiatrist who mostly just maintains my meds. I'm wondering if counseling is even meant for everyone?

[msxyz]

I sure hope she didn't charge for the full session then...

[ChipperMonkey]

I don't think a therapist should end early unless the client REALLY needs to leave. That is, an emergency, crossing boundaries, etc.

It is HARD to open up in therapy. A good therapist will try to draw you out of your shell. It may take many sessions before you trust enough to truly open up.

Maybe this isn't the therapist for you?

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by msxyz

I sure hope she didn't charge for the full session then...

Yup, you paid for it. It doesn't matter if you sit there and say nothing all session long.

And, if insurance is billed, I do believe that is considered insurance fraud. A therapist can't bill for a 45 minute session if she/he kicked you out after only 15 minutes.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by Bluesday

After years of putting it off, I finally started counseling earlier this month. On only my second session, she ended it early b/c I wasn't talking enough! This makes me feel like it's useless to go. I'm never going to be good at talking about myself.

Well, it's useless to go to her. It takes a lot to get up the courage to enter therapy, not knowing what to expect. Shame on her.

Other therapists are fine with people who don't talk much. Don't let this one get you down. Keep trying.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by Bluesday

Just to clarify, this is my counselor and I have a separate psychiatrist who mostly just maintains my meds. I'm wondering if counseling is even meant for everyone?

I think Red75 has a good point. I tried a social worker for a long while, but kept getting worse (depression and just not being present in the sessions). I'm now with a PhD psychologist and though I have to work much harder, we're getting more done. I've repressed so much of my life that if my T didn't use some of the "tricks" of getting to the heart of an issue with me, I'd make no progress at all. I wish you luck in deciding what might be best for you...

I too flu d it very hard to talk when I started therapy. My mind would literally go blank. My T was accepting of this. I think therapy is for those who find it hard to talk as well as for people who talk easily. You may not have found the best therapist for you.