The War Chest

stopdog · Nov 24, 2015 at 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I don't see how it's being unsupportive to ASK someone how they deal with issues if they don't use coping skills.

I didn't realize this was a place where you had to blindly support everyone by being sickeningly sweet all the time and couldn't ask questions. Now I know why I see so much dysfunction on this forum. You're rep remanded and ultimately banned for not being 100% supportive, even if what you say is a QUESTION or making a statement that may go against the posters wants. I liken it to supporting a suicidal person who wants to jump off a bridge by saying "I support your decision to do it because there's nothing but "support" here! I can't tell you not to do it because that would be unsupportive!

End of rant, peace out. I won't be part of a community where I have to support bad behavior and get reprimanded for not asking questions (when I do indeed ask questions).

I have flashbacks and have been told by the second one that she thinks I do have ptsd. And there has been no focus on coping skills - I don't want that sort of therapy. It is fine if other people do, but not everyone wants or needs the same thing even where the labels are the similar.

People do discuss things and have different opinions here. I have not found it to be too sweet (and I am not a sweet person by any stretch of the imagination). I have not found, for me, there to be a problem with respectful questions about differences. I have found difficulty with non-respectful, barely concealed criticism and incredulity.

Nov 24, 2015 at 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I don't see how it's being unsupportive to ASK someone how they deal with issues if they don't use coping skills.

I didn't realize this was a place where you had to blindly support everyone by being sickeningly sweet all the time and couldn't ask questions. Now I know why I see so much dysfunction on this forum. You're rep remanded and ultimately banned for not being 100% supportive, even if what you say is a QUESTION or making a statement that may go against the posters wants. I liken it to supporting a suicidal person who wants to jump off a bridge by saying "I support your decision to do it because there's nothing but "support" here! I can't tell you not to do it because that would be unsupportive!

End of rant, peace out. I won't be part of a community where I have to support bad behavior and get reprimanded for not asking questions (when I do indeed ask questions).

Whoa, Chipper, might be time to consider going and using some of those great CBT worksheets to help yourself chill a bit. No one is saying that anyone on here has to support "bad behavior". Personally, when I'm not feeling as though I can be supportive or make suggestions that help an individual question or examine their choices, then it's a good time for me to step away from the keyboard and take care of myself.

Everyone's coping skills are in transition and growth. We all come to this forum in different places in the therapy process. Some people were helped by CBT, some have been hurt by it or found it totally ineffective. You mentioned that DBT was very unhelpful to you--guess what? Lots of people on this forum have found it to be life saving. No one approach works for all. And I do know that if I question or diss a person for their approach, I'm bound to hurt them in some way. All people are asking for is a little respect for the differences you'll find on the forum. Suggest coping skills is a good thing/dissing a person's approach, is not so good.

junkDNA · Nov 24, 2015 at 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I don't see how it's being unsupportive to ASK someone how they deal with issues if they don't use coping skills.

I didn't realize this was a place where you had to blindly support everyone by being sickeningly sweet all the time and couldn't ask questions. Now I know why I see so much dysfunction on this forum. You're rep remanded and ultimately banned for not being 100% supportive, even if what you say is a QUESTION or making a statement that may go against the posters wants. I liken it to supporting a suicidal person who wants to jump off a bridge by saying "I support your decision to do it because there's nothing but "support" here! I can't tell you not to do it because that would be unsupportive!

End of rant, peace out. I won't be part of a community where I have to support bad behavior and get reprimanded for not asking questions (when I do indeed ask questions).

.....

see ya

AllHeart · 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I don't see how it's being unsupportive to ASK someone how they deal with issues if they don't use coping skills.

I didn't realize this was a place where you had to blindly support everyone by being sickeningly sweet all the time and couldn't ask questions. Now I know why I see so much dysfunction on this forum. You're rep remanded and ultimately banned for not being 100% supportive, even if what you say is a QUESTION or making a statement that may go against the posters wants. I liken it to supporting a suicidal person who wants to jump off a bridge by saying "I support your decision to do it because there's nothing but "support" here! I can't tell you not to do it because that would be unsupportive!

End of rant, peace out. I won't be part of a community where I have to support bad behavior and get reprimanded for not asking questions (when I do indeed ask questions).

This is specifically a support forum. People are supposed to be able to come here for safe support without judgement or being made to feel "bad" for what they do, say, think. That doesn't mean you have to agree with everyone and like everything. You do have to find a way to express your differences with consideration to others. Using compassion and understanding to voice your differences, concerns, or questions is a good way to do that. It's all in the delivery.

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