Afraid to trust and need therapist...

Been in therapy for a few months now but only seeing T every two or three weeks as her schedule is rather full. It's difficult to to learn to completely trust her as I have trust issues anyway..not seeing her often doesn't help build that trust. There's a part of me that wants to see her and talk to he, but a part of me doesn't want to get too attached and need her too much. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.. Thanks,!

Hi Ashley. I've struggled with this, too, and I think a lot of people on the forum have as well. Is there any chance of seeing her more often, at least at this beginning stage? That might be helpful to build rapport. For me, the trust really only came after I made a huge leap of faith and disclosed things I'd never spoken to anyone about before. T was awesome about it. As for dependence--you might surprise yourself. I have a tendency to obsess about people and was worried about this, but somehow it didn't happen with my T. They're trained to have good boundaries and to foster independence, not dependency.

It would be really helpful to bring this up with your T directly. Good luck and hang in there!

Totally agree with argonautomobile

The beginning bit is really important for trust.

I did the same leap of faith, as for me a T is a safe person to try trusting as they are bound by all sorts of codes and ethics and they generally wouldn't go into the field unless they wanted to help people.


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In my experience it's not a good idea to trust very much or get attached or need much. I got severely hurt by a therapist who promised he would be there with me until I was doing better. He abandoned me out of the blue. Trust just enough to get the help you need, but never fully trust a therapist. They have too much power.

Ashley, I can relate 100% to you post. I have been with my T for almost a year, and I still struggle to trust him. I also have a fear of needing him too much and becoming attached. Like Argonautomobile said, a good T will do their best foster independence. It's so hard, but I found the more opened up, the stronger my alliance with T became. Sometimes you just have to jump in head first. Good luck!

I agree, it's hard sometimes to trust, but I am getting there (after nearly two years).
I think I've rather tested my T and pushed/pulled so much...she has been fairly constant, but not in a superhuman way but in a real, fallible, human way, that makes me feel I can trust her. A bit.

I think I'd find trust hard if I only saw my T every two or three weeks. I see her weekly, and if we have a week or two off I always feel like she's a bit of a stranger again.

Thanks for your advice, yes,...I think seeing her more often would help but at the end of every session, the next date she offers is always either two or three weeks away. She even said after the next appointment it will likely be a month until I see her again, due to the holidays before I'll be seeing her again, it's difficult to build rapport and trust and want to open up, with such a long time in between

Yes, that's exactly what it's like. It's hard to open up quickly at a session after not seeing her for two or three weeks. In a way it makes it not worth it to even try because I'm not sure so long between sessions is useful right now since I have such a hard time trusting people and opening up anyways. I don't know. But thank you.