suicide, FIRST HUG with T, becoming a T

MY T, who've Ive been seeing for three years and absolutely adore hugged me yesterday...I was sure he was not a hugger..He's never even touched me before, shook hands or anything.I think its.cause he knows I had the hots for him, but really, he just didnt seem like a touchy guy.

I suppose he had no choice because he caught me on my laptop looking up suicide methods so he had to do something.

Ive had the mad hots for him all this time but I was too distressed to even cop a cheap feel I guess he knew.
I alwaysthought if he hugged me it would turninto a free for all becasue I really do have the hots for him. I just so sick of people it didnt even turn me on. Ive had the MAD hots for this guy for years but I couldnt even hug him back .

Then, he asked me if I would tutor one of his clients with a LD, and I did for a couple hours, and I felt so much better...between the hug and helping someone.

Helping this person made me forget about myself..I felt really good afterward. I really was going to end it before I saw him yesterday..And my T says thats why I should continue to try to be a T myself...he says keeping other people sane helps you keep your own nuttinesss in check.

Anyway. Thats my story. Figured i'd share.