Will she ever....

just drop me?
I've been with my T for a long time and I've been in crisis and she won't answer my email. S so I've been numb and unable to stop being numb, it's like I can't even feel full anxiety or anything, when I see she hasn't answered I've just simply become numb . Would she just leave me, just like that, is that what I'm preparing for because if my past abuse.

How long since you emailed? How long you worked together?

How long has it been since you sent the email? To me, email is an unreliable way of reaching out during crisis. Emails get lost in spam folders, lost in space, and often times doesn't properly convey the urgency of the situation. Maybe you should give your t a phone call. You don't want these feelings of rejection to go on any longer or add on to your current state of distress.

I've been seeing her for 2 years and she always answers right away. I called her but she hasn't called me.

How long has it been since you have called and emailed her?

but how long since you emailed?

My email was last week

Just email again. Or call again. Mention you emailed last week and hadn't heard from her and wondered if she had received it. Could be many reasons why she hasn't replied, probably none them have to do with you.

Do you not see her weekly?

Yes, definitely try again. Maybe she has been out of town. I can't imagine that she just drop contact like that.

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Did you stress that you are in crisis when you called her and emailed her? If not, you should call again and say its a time of crisis and you need a call back right away.

I can't imagine she would just drop you out of nowhere.

I can relate to how you are feeling, though, as I often get locked up inside my own head in a very similar way. My therapist at university once told me at the end of a session that she would text me to let me know if she wanted me to come in at 1 or 1:30 the following week. I never heard from her, though, and went into a destructive spiral of "what-ifs", convincing myself that she'd decided she just didn't want to see me at all that day, and that I would annoy her if I contacted her to ask her about it. So I just did nothing, and of course upset myself unnecessarily because, as it turned out, she thought she had sent me a text and then said she must have sent it to the wrong person.

So now I try to reach out if something is bothering me, or I am uncertain about something, because at the end of the day therapists are human and can miss or forget things just like the rest of us. Sometimes they need a bit of a reminder (as long as it doesn't become a regular thing, of course). So I think you should send her another email if you are worried about it, and make it absolutely clear that you are in crisis and you would really like her to respond or call you back.

Hang in there.

Thanks everyone, for the replies. It helps me to put things into perspective. I think I'm guilty of just going off the worst in my head a lot of the time. I just have this feeling I'm overwhelming her, because I am.
I see her next week so maybe ill just have to hold on. Thank you so much for your advice. I hope I'm wrong.