[Waterbear]

OK, so I am still struggling with the concept of feelings and emotions. Maybe I am just thinking too much of it but I just can't get my head around it. The word feeling implies a physical sensation. Things feel soft or hard, people feel hot or cold, tired or awake etc. I get the feeling of nervous because I can feel fluttering inside me and I get feeling scared because I get frozen to the spot but as for (reading from my basic list of emotions) pride, joy,intrigue, love, sadness, anger, confused, vulnerable, embarrassed, hopeful, curious etc etc am I alone in not feeling anything physical.

These are just more thoughts, are they not? The more I think about it the more it doesn't make any sense. I don't know why it is important but it is. I grew up never hearing or talking about any of the above. It was as if if it wasn't factual it wasn't discussed. It feels as if I am learning a new language, and there is that word. How can it feel as if I am learning a new language if I can't feel anything. Surely it either is it it seems as if it is.

I hope this makes sense to someone and that you can offer something, anything to add to my limited understanding. My T described feelings as 'the bodies process of dealing with situations' which hasn't really helped at all.

I have printed everything I can find off the internet and plan on asking her to work through it with me. Maybe if we just keep talking about it then it will make sense. Whenever she asks I just say OK, because that is how I feel if I am not scared.

Sorry for rambling!!

[Ellahmae]

Not rambling. I am in the same boat. I don't feel. Can't feel. Don't get it.

[Argonautomobile]

Feelings don't have content, thoughts do. For me, anyway. The feelings that don't have a clear physical 'felt-ness' are sort of like the lenses through which we see the world. You've heard of wearing rose-colored glasses, right? You don't necessarily physically feel the glasses on your face, but you know they're there because everything looks so pink and lovely. "Feeling" depressed is like putting on your "depression"-colored glasses. You may or may not physically feel them sitting on your nose, but you know you're depressed because everything looks Sh!tty.

If you wear your glasses for too long, you'll forget that they're on your head and you'll figure the world just always and necessarily looks like that. So for god's sake pay attention.

[Waterbear]

Thanks for that. So that vague awareness may be all I ever have to go by? I do have that awareness sometimes but I just wasn't sure whether it was me 'feeling' or just me being aware if how one would normally feel in such a situation. I will think about what you have said, thank you.

[Out There]

I couldn't " feel " for a long time. I was just numb. I do feel now , but its not something I'm used to. You are definitely not rambling !

[Waterbear]

Thank you. What did it 'feel' like when you started feeling, if you can put something like that into words? There is hope then, that is good news!!

[Argonautomobile]

I think "vague awareness" describes a lot of feelings/emotions pretty well. Not being sure if the feeling is coming from you or whether you're simply aware of how one would normally feel doesn't seem that weird to me. I think emotions can often seem alien--so much so that we have a long history of attributing them to divine causes. Plus the fact that feelings can operate on a different level than the "I". That is, when you smash your finger with a hammer, you don't really think "I am in pain" so much as your brain just flashes the word "PAIN!" at you like some neon light. There's not really an "I," there's just "PAIN." So it makes sense that you'd not really be sure if "you" are feeling the emotion.

Anyway, it's not weird. It's normal. Knowing what you feel or even if you feel is something you have to learn.

[Out There]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Thank you. What did it 'feel' like when you started feeling, if you can put something like that into words? There is hope then, that is good news!!

I sort of did look at it as " good news " to feel the feelings ( I think!? : ). It was difficult to put into words - I described it to my T with a visual , it was like the scene from the film " Ghost " if you have seen it where the spirits appear as lights to escort the soul of a man who has just died , and another man who's already dead says " Here they come ! '. It was like that for me - here the feelings come. Its something to learn.

[Sannah]

Hi Waterbear, maybe you have too much anxiety & fear to feel anything else? Maybe if you work on decreasing these with your T then you will start to feel the other emotions? I have heard a lot of people explain that they couldn't feel joy until they worked on decreasing anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.

[Waterbear]

Thanks Sannah, that is entirely possible. There doesn't seem a lot of room left once the anxiety about everything is factored in. I struggle to see a way past it, but I suppose time will be the key. Thanks

[UglyDucky]

I'm also in the same boat w/you and Ella...hard to imagine a bodily response to words one doesn't feel.

Im also in the same boat. My T always said I needed to allow myself to be vulnerable in sessions - But I don't really know what that means, or involves, or what Im doing now that indicates I'm not being vulnerable.

I was just starting to get to grips with feelings, but I don't like them, I don't want them, and I definitely can't see how having them improves life - and so I have quit T.

[awkwardlyyours]

My T recently suggested that I could think of exploring my feelings the way people thought of space exploration -- the last frontier that was both exciting and frightening.

Thankfully, she had the grace to admit (even as she was saying it) that it was a terrible analogy.

I decided to spare her feelings and muttered my thanks instead, saying that it was amazingly insightful. And, then more awkwardness ensued with her thanking me for taking in the gawdawful analogy.

[Waterbear]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replied. Some very useful thoughts on here but also useful to know I am not alone in this. I got caught unawares after the last session by feelings of anger coming to me. Well, when I say anger I mean more mild irritation but that's not a bad start. Now I just need to figure out what to do with it. I won't bore you all with the details but little me was the one who was angry and I think my T needs to know this so maybe this should be the topic for Tuesday. Thanks again.