[stopdog]

Do you believe the therapist knows key moments of change for you around therapy?

[velcro003]

? What do you mean?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by velcro003

? What do you mean?

It came up in another thread - I have no idea what it means - I thought others might.

Would it have something to do with "core issues"? I don't know what they are but my T bangs on about them all the time.

[Crescent Moon]

I did "other" because I think several of the choices are true for me at the same time. First, "key moments," to me, are obvious. Say I start therapy with a lot of difficulty speaking up for myself. So my therapist deliberately does things designed to provoke me to need to speak up for myself. It causes some angst, and I finally, with a lot of anxiety, speak up for myself. It goes very well and the therapist responds better than I expected. So I begin speaking up for myself on other things that come up, and keep experiencing it as working well between us. Then I start speaking up for myself with my family, and at work. Since they aren't therapists, sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't, but I talk about the problematic ones with my therapist and learn better ways to speak up for myself.

You get the point. I end up learning to speak up for myself in a lot of areas and don't have much anxiety about it. There's a "key moment of change" in there.

Imagine, Stopdog, if something happened that resulted in you trusting your 2nd therapist. You started looking forward to therapy with her and stopped thinking of her being wily. In fact, you started feeling warmed by kindnesses she showed you. She ended up hugging you, and you did not recoil. Somewhere in all that a "key moment of change" took place.
Now I must apologize for the trauma I've caused you by describing this unlikely scenario.

Yes, my therapists have all been aware of points of real change/movement/progress along the way. They knew whether I told them or not, sometimes before I could really recognize those points in myself. We had times we reflected on those points in retrospect, particularly upon impending goodbyes as I reached a new stage in my life. They could enumerate exactly where I had started, where they had seen change along the way, and could make pretty darn good predictions about what was coming next for me in my growth and internal understanding of myself.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

You get the point. I end up learning to speak up for myself in a lot of areas and don't have much anxiety about it. There's a "key moment of change" in there.

Imagine, Stopdog, if something happened that resulted in you trusting your 2nd therapist. You started looking forward to therapy with her and stopped thinking of her being wily. In fact, you started feeling warmed by kindnesses she showed you. She ended up hugging you, and you did not recoil. Somewhere in all that a "key moment of change" took place.
Now I must apologize for the trauma I've caused you by describing this unlikely scenario.

The Horror - I may not ever sleep again.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The Horror - I may not ever sleep again.

I know... and I'm feeling bad as I imagine another "key moment," Stopdog snuggled in her blanket, feeling all safe and comforted about her new relationship with her therapist.

But you probably really do understand what "key moment" means now.

[stopdog]

Are you trying to kill me?

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Are you trying to kill me?

No. I love Stopdog and would cry if she died. Seriously.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

I know... and I'm feeling bad as I imagine another "key moment," Stopdog snuggled in her blanket, feeling all safe and comforted about her new relationship with her therapist.

But you probably really do understand what "key moment" means now.

Apparently it means descent into madness

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Apparently it means descent into madness

I'd better stop, before Stopdog undergoes some devastating key moment of change.

[ruh roh]

I don't know, but I will ask her this next week. I hope I don't get a vague reply.

I think she might, for some.

One key change for me is instead of blind idealisation of my parents and believing that I deserved every harsh punishment they meted out because "I am bad", I'm beginning to realise that no child deserves what I experienced (although it definitely wasn't as bad compared to many, I'm sure).

My therapist has noticed that change, as well as an increase in my assertiveness. She has said that I'm a different person compared to when she saw me at the beginning of the year.

I am far more willing to be vulnerable with her, and much more emotionally expressive.

These are things we've both noticed.

My t always points out how I have handled things differently or reacted differently.
She will point these out because I just take them for granted. She will also point out how I have changed and how I am begining to feel my emotions.
Sometimes I thank god she noticed because I never do!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[atisketatasket]

First, I would be really upset if stopdog became not-stopdog as CM envisions it. East is east, west is west, stopdog is stopdog. Death, taxes, and stopdog! You get the idea.

I answered "I haven't had a key moment of change from therapy" and I think this is correct - No. 1 yesterday made a point of saying how much I had progressed in 9 1/2 months (it was our last session, until perhaps next summer), but if there was a key moment in that time, we both agreed it didn't happen from/in therapy. (Which made my opinion of her go up a bit.)

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My T always points out and notices changes in me and our work in therapy before I do. She mentions them all the time and it makes me feel so good. I can see some of the changes I have made but not all of them. I love how she brings it up and makes me feel so good for the work I do in therapy.

[iheartjacques]

Yes. In the way I talk to him or treat him. He will ask what has happened.

[iheartjacques]

Or in how I reacted to recent situations.

[Gavinandnikki]

Real changes occur in therapy, in my opinion, only if one is receptive and desirous of change.

[doyoutrustme]

They like to think so, but I think my therapist and I see different things as key moments. Whatever floats their boat.

[nottrustin]

I answered other because yes there are times that T has noticed big changes and mentioned it. However, not sure that she has always notices right off....

One example: a few months I totally stepped out of my comfort zone and attended a series of religious classes. She was excited by this. She immediately noticed a difference in me and how I react to things. She has repeated pointed out that what I got out of those classes had the same results as a few months of therapy.

[brillskep]

I try to tell my therapist when I change for better or worse as a result of therapy. I want to celebrate good changes and fix bad ones. But I also think this is necessary so that he knows what helps and what doesn't. But maybe there have been moments when I didn't mention everything or he didn't understand. Five years and a half is a long time.

[RedSun]

I don't know, I'm really confused.
Perhaps I'll try and answer this again when I've had another cup of tea.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

First, I would be really upset if stopdog became not-stopdog as CM envisions it. East is east, west is west, stopdog is stopdog. Death, taxes, and stopdog! You get the idea.

I answered "I haven't had a key moment of change from therapy" and I think this is correct - No. 1 yesterday made a point of saying how much I had progressed in 9 1/2 months (it was our last session, until perhaps next summer), but if there was a key moment in that time, we both agreed it didn't happen from/in therapy. (Which made my opinion of her go up a bit.)

Well some people already are perfect specimens of humanity (like Taylor Swift) and just go to therapy for support for difficult circumstances during their lives, not necessarily to change aspects of their being. Whereas others of us (like Kim K) may emerge unrecognizable from what we started out as all shorn and pinched and padded up. Okay first and last time SD and i are compared to TS & KimK - the resemblance is striking!

And i voted t has pointed changes out to me. But i do also.