[Argonautomobile]

Unhealthy dependency, that is. (Is there such a distinction?) What does it look like, in your view? What are its features? Have you experienced it?

It's something I wonder about as I approach termination of regular sessions.

[atisketatasket]

If you can't function without the other person? Or feel like you can't, or won't.

I'm going by a bad breakup I went through once. I wasn't the one I thought was dependent, the other party was. Would not take no for an answer, kept trying to communicate with me. I had to cut off all contact, even though I didn't want to.

I think that's probably an extreme reaction. But I would guess if you need someone, anyone, more than you actually should, that's unhealthy dependency.

[stopdog]

On a therapist? I don't know - I consider depending upon them at all dicey business as I consider them completely untrustworthy. For others, what I would consider unwise and extreme dependency seems a necessary part of the whole thing.

[Argonautomobile]

Maybe I should contextualize this a bit. I have my last regular session coming up, after which I'll be moved to monthly check-ins and, I suppose, an eventual cessation of care altogether.

I don't think my life will fall apart without weekly sessions. I don't feel in crisis or like I "Need" therapy, but I don't really want to leave, either. If it were up to me, I'd go to sessions indefinitely just because it's kind of awesome to have a whole fifty minutes that are all about me. Maybe that's self-absorbed, but it feels good, like self-care, and I like it.

Is that a kind of dependency, do you think?

[divine1966]

I think unhealthy dependency is kind of not able to make life decisions without asking t. Or unable to cope without emailing texting t over every issue. Unable to wait till next session

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[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Maybe I should contextualize this a bit. I have my last regular session coming up, after which I'll be moved to monthly check-ins and, I suppose, an eventual cessation of care altogether.

I don't think my life will fall apart without weekly sessions. I don't feel in crisis or like I "Need" therapy, but I don't really want to leave, either. If it were up to me, I'd go to sessions indefinitely just because it's kind of awesome to have a whole fifty minutes that are all about me. Maybe that's self-absorbed, but it feels good, like self-care, and I like it.

Is that a kind of dependency, do you think?

I don't know if that's dependency as much as it is comfort. Dependency in this situation, to me, would mean not being able to function without seeing your t weekly. That's not the case. You find comfort in having that 'me' time. I don't think that's unhealthy at all.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Feeling if someone leaves you won't be able to cope. Actually not being able to cope when they leave. Falling apart when they leave because they encouraged such a reliance on them that you forget how to cope on your own. Hurting yourself because they told you that you were too loved to ever abandon, and then abandoning you.

[Argonautomobile]

Jesus, I'm not sure I ever appreciated how serious dependency could be. I feel silly for asking the question now.

Thank you so much for your responses!

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Jesus, I'm not sure I ever appreciated how serious dependency could be. I feel silly for asking the question now.

Thank you so much for your responses!

Don't feel silly, it's an okay question!!

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Unhealthy dependency, that is. (Is there such a distinction?) What does it look like, in your view? What are its features? Have you experienced it?

It's something I wonder about as I approach termination of regular sessions.

I'm probably unhealthily dependent on my T right now. We've been seeing one another for four months and we've not unearthed enough of my issues for me to feel I can get out on that tree limb and fly, yet. I came to therapy so isolated - no friends, no interests, depressed, experiencing cognitive problems, etc. that if I wasn't dependent on my T right now, I'd slip back into those unhealthy behaviors in an instant. Maybe this isn't so unhealthy for the stage I'm in...

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by UglyDucky

I'm probably unhealthily dependent on my T right now. We've been seeing one another for four months and we've not unearthed enough of my issues for me to feel I can get out on that tree limb and fly, yet. I came to therapy so isolated - no friends, no interests, depressed, experiencing cognitive problems, etc. that if I wasn't dependent on my T right now, I'd slip back into those unhealthy behaviors in an instant. Maybe this isn't so unhealthy for the stage I'm in...

That sounds a lot like me a month or so ago. No, I don't think you have an unhealthy dependency

[Inner_Firefly]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Maybe I should contextualize this a bit. I have my last regular session coming up, after which I'll be moved to monthly check-ins and, I suppose, an eventual cessation of care altogether.

I don't think my life will fall apart without weekly sessions. I don't feel in crisis or like I "Need" therapy, but I don't really want to leave, either. If it were up to me, I'd go to sessions indefinitely just because it's kind of awesome to have a whole fifty minutes that are all about me. Maybe that's self-absorbed, but it feels good, like self-care, and I like it.

Is that a kind of dependency, do you think?

Hi Argonautmobile, I don't think it's dependency, it is just on-going self care and deepening self knowledge. Even if we don't "need" therapy, it makes us feel uplifted, understood and comforted. I am sorry to hear it is not up to you. Also I am glad your T apologized after making you wait 20 mins. You are important and deserve the best. I wish your therapy could continue longer.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly

Hi Argonautmobile, I don't think it's dependency, it is just on-going self care and deepening self knowledge. Even if we don't "need" therapy, it makes us feel uplifted, understood and comforted. I am sorry to hear it is not up to you. Also I am glad your T apologized after making you wait 20 mins. You are important and deserve the best. I wish your therapy could continue longer.

You're sweet to keep up with my story Your comments are always helpful and appreciated. Happy holidays to you!