Will someone please tell me why anyone would steal my T?

Will you PLEASE TELL ME??? I have been left to suffer in misery for 2 YEARS!! I'm BEGGING ANYONE OUT THERE who knows me to PLEASE take just a few minutes to write me an anonymous note.

Doesn't anyone care one little iota to write me an anonymous note??? I have to know why?? I NEED TO KNOW WHY??

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!

[Argonautomobile]

Hi Sizzling. Sorry you're hurting. I know I'd be furious if I felt someone had stolen my T. Are you in treatment, currently? If so, I'd consider talking to your current T. about this. If not, I'd bet finding a new T. to talk to would be really helpful.

Good luck!

[SkyscraperMeow]

I am sorry someone stole your T! I think sometimes people don't know what to say to things like this, but it doesn't mean they don't care.

Thanks for the responses. I am furious and I feel like no one cares. I feel so bad tonight, sad about so many things. I don't think my T understands how I feel. I don't think he "gets it".

[SkyscraperMeow]

Originally Posted by Sizzling

Thanks for the responses. I am furious and I feel like no one cares. I feel so bad tonight, sad about so many things. I don't think my T understands how I feel. I don't think he "gets it".

Maybe you could tell us how your T came to be stolen, then we would understand more?

My cousin from Chicago moved here to this small town I live in. It's geographically spacious because of the farms but it's basically a small town. Everyone knows everybody. Anyway, my cousin is looking for a man and she heard I liked my T so she made a B line straight to his office. I guess the guys at the local pub didn't do it for her. I'm devastated and sad that my cousin would do this to me. I welcomed her here and even baked a peach pie.

[SkyscraperMeow]

Originally Posted by Sizzling

My cousin from Chicago moved here to this small town I live in. It's geographically spacious because of the farms but it's basically a small town. Everyone knows everybody. Anyway, my cousin is looking for a man and she heard I liked my T so she made a B line straight to his office. I guess the guys at the local pub didn't do it for her. I'm devastated and sad that my cousin would do this to me. I welcomed her here and even baked a peach pie.

That does sound really painful Did she see your T as a client, or romantically? Did your therapist stop seeing you as a client because he became involved with your cousin?

[Rive.]

Not sure I am quite clear with what happened. How did she “steal” him? Did T dump you? Didn’t T check with you before taking her on? Did you voice your concerns to T (seeing you were their client first)?

Still “steal” is a strong word for a T-framework and objectifies the person (T) and process (i.e. therapeutic framework).

I don’t mean to be hurtful but you can’t be robbed of something (let alone someone) that was not ‘yours’ in the first place. Then again, I am not sure if T knew that you knew her or if he is still seeing you...or even whether he knew that she is related to you in the first place.

She went to see him as a client. I didn't know she was seeing him but she told him I was her cousin. My T knew we were related and didn't mention it to me, never mind ask me if I wouldn't mind.

Of course I don't "own" anybody but I thought he was MY T and would be loyal to me. I went to great lengths to find him btw. I also had established a long term client/T relationship before he started up with the cuz.

[healingme4me]

Is that how things came out that were privacy related? My T sometimes has to make a point used third party stories, not a ton, but anonymous and for me they didn't ring remotely like anyone that I know. Could that style be part of it?

If so, knowing of your being related, such style shouldn't have been used. Do you get along with your cousin?

Yes I used to get along with my cousin just fine. I welcomed her into town. We'd sit and have milk and pie once a week on Sunday afternoons. No more of that.

[JustShakey]

Are you still seeing this T? I see your posts on the Dear T thread and it seems like you've been very angry for a long time. Have you talked to him about it?

I still see him but not as often. He is defensive when I bring up the topic and does not cooperate to bring about resolution. I don't know what I am going to do.

[JustShakey]

Sounds like you're deadlocked. The only way out of that one is a new T

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Daystrom]

Sizzling, I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you were close to and trusted for years. Has happened to me several times. It's like a knife in the gut and is a hurt deeper and more vicious than any other, and time doesn't easily heal it. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I also think that continuing to see this T can only prolong the hurt, without accomplishing anything else.

Thanks for understanding. Not many people do. I have invested a lot with this T. I need him. I don't give up easily but I do appreciate the advice.

Hi Sizzling, you sound so angry in your posts in "Dear T" that I seriously doubt whether anything therapeutic can happen while you continue to see this one. At the centre of good therapy is a good therapeutic relationship. One trust is gone, so has any potential for help.
I urge you to reconsider and look for a new therapist with whom you can process this betrayal and this loss.

[Soccer mom]

I had this exact same thing happen with a friend and co-worker. My T. said that she WOULD see my friend unless she knew her in some other way. Since we are in a small town, she tries to keep her clients and work/social life separate. I told her I wouldn't like that because I don't want to share and completely related it to sharing your mom. I said I was afraid she would treat her differently. She said she would because she treats everyone differently as no one is alike. So, I ended up asking my friend not to see her and she was more than ok with it. She already knew my relationship with my T.

Then, my T. started to see my co-worker who works NEXT DOOR to my office. I told my T. I was upset that she would see someone in the same office. I said I don't want to hear about her therapy, etc. That conversation didn't go well. My T. never saw the situation through my eyes. I told her I know other people who see her but I don't see them as often as a co-worker. My transference made it more sticky and T. just didn't get it.

I talked to my new T. about this situation and she immediately said she wouldn't see anyone from my work. I didn't even have to ask. She gets it and understands. I think it's just up to the T., their personality and their understanding of your feelings. I know how painful it can be. I once told my T. that her office space is sacred to me. She actually didn't like that I said that. Again, didn't understand.

I'm not sure I have any advice except for try to give it some time, talk to T. and if you still feel badly, then you may have to switch. However, you also have to remember that every relationship your T. has with others is different than yours - not worse, not better, just different.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Rive.

Not sure I am quite clear with what happened. How did she “steal” him? Did T dump you? Didn’t T check with you before taking her on? Did you voice your concerns to T (seeing you were their client first)?

Still “steal” is a strong word for a T-framework and objectifies the person (T) and process (i.e. therapeutic framework).

I don’t mean to be hurtful but you can’t be robbed of something (let alone someone) that was not ‘yours’ in the first place. Then again, I am not sure if T knew that you knew her or if he is still seeing you...or even whether he knew that she is related to you in the first place.

Pretty sure though that it is at least an ethically questionable conflict of interest. If my T started seeing a close friend or family member I don't think I coukd keep seeing her, but I really can't see her doing it.

[magno11789]

I know if my T say a close friend, family member or coworker I would be soooooo mad. I'd have to quit seeing her if she didn't quit seeing them.

How could the T or even your friend/coworker continue to see each other after knowing what it is doing to you??

I'm sorry to read this has happened to anyone.

Did anyone ever help you? Is this still going on?

[unaluna]

I thought this was your old account! Didnt the same thing happen?

Originally Posted by Cloudburst

Did anyone ever help you? Is this still going on?

I thought this was your thread under an old username, too. You change your username frequently, but the tone and story is the same. We have this OP confused with you Cloudburst?

[iheartjacques]

I'm glad I live in a big enough place that there are enough of them around and I don't tell people who I see. I couldn't handle a situation like that.