What Do You Think Your T Would Lie To You About?

Asked T today if she'd lie to me. She said no, but I said under the right circumstances I thought she would. She challenged me for an example and I've yet to come up with one. How about y'all?

Something I often worry about is that my T hates or dislikes me. I feel like she would lie about that. Or at least avoid the question or something

Anything she thought she could get away with.

I am pretty sure No. 1 lied about why she doesn't take insurance.

I don't get the sense that either of them have lied about anything else. As for whether or not they truly like a client, I think that is made evident by their behavior towards the client pretty quickly.

Yes, I wonder if T agrees with some of my beliefs because she wants to establish rapport...or if she really feels that way.

I also wonder if she really loves collecting *giraffe* bric-à-brac ...or if she decided her clients might want to get her a little present sometimes...and she randomly chose "giraffes."

I don't worry about these things but, yes, I wonder under what conditions T would tell a lie.

I often wonder if my T lies about being bothered that I sometimes email her a lot and sometimes I am very needy. I don't get the sense that she would lie to me but my mind loves to play the "What if" game.

my therapist wouldn't lie to me in session but other times she would catch me in a lie by saying I caught you or she would have her glasses pushed down past her nose and her eyes looking up at me saying I don't believe you






Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with additional 25 mgs =75 mgs when up past 1:00 in the morning

Reasons for canceling appointments.. Which I find stupid because he doesn't even have to give me a reason when he cancels.

I've never been suspicious of him lying. He pretty much tells me like it is.

I think my T is mostly pretty honest and would avoid lying if he could. So if he did lie there'd probably be a good reason and I wouldn't be offended by it.

If my T were so inclined to tell me a lie, I suspect it would be a "white lie" - but as it is, rather than lie, he tends to redirect. The only time I think I've ever found him to be untruthful (but not openly lying in any way) was when a tragedy in his own life struck. I kept picking up that something was off, but when I pressed, there happened to be several issues all going on at the same time and he told me about the lesser ones (although severe in their own right) and omitted discussing the very significant tragedy.

It came out several months later when I inadvertently triggered him.

Considering some of the things she has told me that had to be honest (i.e. she might have to refer me if something from my past bothered her, or some of her boundaries)... I doubt she will ever lie to me. However, I know she's not entirely open with me and she has no problem ending a conversation if it gets to personal.

Anything he estimates in his sole personal judgment as being in my best interest to lie to me about, I think he well might. Hippocratic oath doesn't include anything about honesty, only doing what's in a patient's best interest. As their process is often without sufficient checks, balances, or peer review, I think it can be a very slippery slope, into which what's in a therapist's own best personal interest is easily conflated, and over time can be practiced with little if any visible compunction.

She promised she would never knowingly lie to me. So when there were times I was skeptical of a response, she took the time to remind me of the above. I had to learn to trust what she was telling me was the truth as she knew it. I trust her to keep her word.

My head says she could lie. But when I asked her once, she asked why would she lie? I guess I had no answer for that.
By now I'm aware in my heart, T doesn't lie. Not because of me, but because of who she is.

i wrote my T a note and put it in a little bag with 1 cigarette. i told him not to read it til the day of the lawsuit mediation (former T stuff). he was going with me to the mediation. i put it on his desk. a few days later i noticed the bag had air in it. i remembered i made it pretty flat w/ no air. i asked T if he read the note and he said no. i told him what i observed w/ the bag and he said OK, i read it because i thought it was a suicide note, and i thought the cigarette was some cruel joke for me to smoke it when i found out.. i thought omg. the note was telling him to please not talk about anything that went on in the mediation to any of the other staff in the residential program we were in and also wrote some abt my feelings about the whole thing. and the cig was for me in case i didnt have any for afterwards. i can see why he thought it was a suicide note, so i wasnt mad.

I think most of them would lie about anything.

I absolutely believe my T would lie to me. I think he'd say anything to get me to trust him. I see right through it.

I've asked my T if she's lied to me about certain things, or if she really was telling me the truth, or if she was pretending. She gave me clear reasons and examples of how she hadn't and hasn't. I appreciated that she gave me examples that I could see instead of asking me, "why would I lie? what makes you think that? etc...". Who could come up with an answer for those questions on the spot and would I feel confident enough to bring them up? I believe my T when she says she hasn't and has no need to lie to me. She's very open & honest. Forthright and incredibly transparent. I appreciate the her actions do speak louder than and confirm her words. I believe anyone can say things to gain trust, true or not - but the things my T has done, she wouldn't do that just to gain trust or 'pretend'. It's too much work and too far above anything she would ever get compensated for.

Well, I think therapy is by definition a designer relationship that is uneven in terms of what and how both parties reveal. I am sure there is holding back feelings and information and/or distorting in order to (hopefully) advance the process for a specific patient, or sometimes due to countertransference reactions.

Not something I've really been concerned about. I don't know what she'd have to lie about in our therapy.

While I have had some really awesome therapists I've worked with, one I interviewed briefly sent up HUGE red flags around this topic. We were maybe 5 minutes in, and she basically called me a liar, saying she had no reason to trust that anything I was telling her was true. She then proceeded to tell me that I had no reason to trust her, and that she would not trust me if she was in my position. While I have had T's say this in a way to acknowledge the difficulties trusting a stanger with vulnerable information, the way she said it was accusatory... She continued to tell me that she would not believe anything I said until she had access to my previous records. She also told me that if she thought I needed hospitalization, she would not tell me, nor would she work with me around it, but simply lie to me then call the police...
She didn't know me, nor I her, but I knew she'd lie about anything at this point. Certainly not a person I could work with (though, after getting the hell out of her office and being able to breathe again, I totally appreciated her candor about being a ****** therapist).

The T's I chose to work with, I could see maybe avoiding questions/topics, or choosing their words carefully, but not necessarily knowingly lying about something. I've had T's tell me things that were really, REALLY difficult to hear, but they still told me... Oh, I believe one T lied to me about why she terminated me: she said it was agency push, and not her choice. I think she was overwhelmed and out of her element with me, but didn't want to risk me lashing out at her, so she put it off on the agency.

How does that work? Surely a therapist understands how trust is developed? How can believing someone would like create trust? I'd find a new T.

I think she isn't fully upfront about my diagnosis. It's in the hospital records and she (hospital based psychologist) and my psychiatrist (his office is next to hers) talk about me all the time. I'm pretty sure in addition to the depression, anxiety, social anxiety, there is also a diagnosis of BPD. She knows how much that diagnosis has hurt me in the past though and has never offered it up. I'm pretty sure they think I am though. And I know if I asked her outrught, she would be honest about it, so it's not really a lie, more of an omission.

My last therapist lied about anything and everything, to the point where she'd tell me 3 different things on 3 different days and then act like I was crazy for wanting reassurance. Also telling me nothing had changed and she still cared, when clearly everything had changed.

I don't think he lied; I think he was too indifferent to have a consistent or true perspective.