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#1
Dec 16, 2015, 08:51 PM
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'I would never leave you'........As I describe the amount of trauma I allowed my ex spouse to put me through this statement came out my ex therapist's mouth....."I would never leave you" There was no categorizing just and out of blue statement.....There was no mention of role playing practice....Too me it was judgement I'm not sure for being an abused women, an abuse counselee, or just out right laughing....I didn't know what to do with that statement in the moment. I'm guessing it was a shift of focus to the next topic. I need not my system leave me so that I'm not subjected to any form of abuse in this way again. You know what I still have moments to where I can't catch it in the moment when someone is openly offending me....Sometimes It is the ones in the system that keeps these hurts and set up other situation to where hurtful things are said to the ex counselor....Just something I'm remember from years ago I like to analyze thing and wonder of what value I can take from even from that.
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 Cinnamon_Stick, spring2014
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#2
Dec 16, 2015, 08:57 PM
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If my T ever said that to me, I'd just nonchalantly say "meh...yeah you will!" Because NO ONE can honestly, truthfully say that. Although with the wording you used....perhaps T meant if he/she were your ex, they wouldn't have left you because you're a good person.
To say "I WILL never leave you" is much more strong. Just a thought....
__________________
~It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving~ |
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#3
Dec 16, 2015, 09:22 PM
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I am confused. I'm not sure what's wrong with the statement except it is overpromising as lizzy says. But I'm also unclear on what your thread title means and why this therapist is an ex-therapist - did she leave, or did you?
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 AllHeart
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#4
Dec 16, 2015, 09:23 PM
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Quote:
I don't think I would find it comforting either for the therapist to say, "I would never leave you." That would send up a red flag for me even if I didn't comment on it right then. You were being vulnerable telling that T about the hurt you are/were going through. The predatory T's seize upon the vulnerable. I often wondered why the Doc in my case chose me- I was not a colleague, a neighbor, his waitress...I was his mental health patient. Why me? Because I was vulnerable and available. Who would believe the word of a mental health patient vs. a psychiatrist? I digress. It's still a sensitive issue. Yes, I think the system sets clients up to keep the hurt going. When we accept minor boundary slippage from one T, it is easier for the next T to exploit us further. I can relate, also, to your wanting to find some wisdom or value from your past experiences. I feel that way too. I want something good to come out of what happened to me. Else, I have been sitting on a couch for twenty+ years...accomplishing nothing. Am I reading correctly that he/she is now your ex-T? May I ask how you came to leave that T? Are you in therapy now? |
| junkDNA, musinglizzy
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#5
Dec 16, 2015, 11:03 PM
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I have wanted my therapist to say this to me because she means so much to me. I am glad she has not. It would raise a red flag for me.
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#6
Dec 16, 2015, 11:12 PM
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I've lived enough as a nomad to know that very little in life is permanent - if anything can be. It's all just shades of time. I generally perceive such statements as dishonest - like the nurse who told me as a child that a shot wouldn't hurt. Well, it did and even though it wasn't a lot of pain, she had made an absolute statement that was false.
I'm sorry. Ts should be, more than most, very careful with their words.
__________________
It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of. ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed |
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#7
Dec 17, 2015, 12:50 AM
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A therapist just recently said this to me and just left for a new therapist so upset
Sent from my SM-T210R using Tapatalk |
| precaryous
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#8
Dec 17, 2015, 12:55 AM
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This was one of the most completely damaging statements ever said to me.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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