Something has been bubbling inside and I can't pin point what.
Yesterday in T, I begun to try and explain it, then I said to T - half in accusation I think - what's the point of telling you, you don't get it.
T replied, I think it's important that YOU understand 'it'.
I felt like she'd served a tennis ace. Swoosh. Back in my court. Not in a bad way. I mean I realised in that reply just how much I can forget it's my therapy. It's me that does need to understand, get it. How I can tend to finger point, rid myself of impossible feelings, situations.

"YOU don't get it "

"It's YOU that needs to get it ".

For some reason I almost wanted to cry with that realization.

Anyway....

[nervous puppy]

yeah. good point. kinda makes me want to cry now...

I think sometimes T's seem to forget that - they think they are the one doing the understanding.

Yes, it is OUR work. They can listen and facilitate and support and validate. But it has to be OUR understanding, OUR work, OUR change. I think that gets lost by clients and T's alike at times.

Yep. We are the ones that have to do the work, so we can come to our own understanding, and our own change. T's can't do the work for us. I like how lolagrace said they can listen and facilitate and support and validate - all of that is what I see too - but it's me that has to do the difficult work of changing me. And my t tells me that often when I thank her for how much she has helped me she will say something like "You do all the work. I just show up." That's a bit of an exaggeration on her part, I know she does more than merely show up, but it gets the point across that the actual work of change is my work. She can't do it for me. It's sorta hard to hear that it has to be US, but at the same time, it's empowering too, if you think about it.

_Mouse, I always look forward to your posts, they are so insightful.

[emlou019]

It's always about you (apparently!)

Your T has a good point. In the end we have to be the ones to understand ourselves in order to heal. It doesn't really matter if our Ts really get it or not.