[musinglizzy]

I posted this on another thread, but didn't want to hijack it.

My T touched base with me via Email and let me know about the changes to the "holiday schedule," which weren't as bad as I expected them to be. However, she said the week of the 28th would be normal, unless she decided at the last minute to not work in the afternoon on the 31st. She has every right! I actually didn't expect a session that day, so was surprised when there was a chance.

However. I am dealing with a very overwhelming amount of stress at this time so afraid I'm just being overly sensitive. I was bothered by the comment that that week is normal, unless she decides "last minute" not to work the afternoon of the 31st. Would that bother anyone else? I know I'm emotional about a lot of things right now.... but I was hurt by that. I Emailed her back and told her instead of that, I will just plan on NOT having a session on the 31st, and if she decides to work that afternoon, she can let me know and I'm sure I'll be free to come in.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

It would bother me not knowing if I would for sure have a session that day or not. I would have done the same thing you did. Cancel a session for that day and then if the T decided to come in that day then she can contact me. I think you handled it well.

[AllHeart]

Nah, not over sensitive at all. A t should never put parameters on a clients schedule like that. Even though this is not what your t means, the message being sent is "something more important might come up so I reserve the right to cancel the appointment." There is no regard to your feelings or your time. Sorry for all you are going through at this time!!

[ruh roh]

Well, I've always thought she was an unprofessional therapist from the things you've shared, so this doesn't surprise me. I cannot imagine my therapist doing something like that. Or any therapist. Or business person. I do not even think my neighbor's house cleaner would act like that.

[divine1966]

If she typically provides consistent schedule and you see her regularly then hanging you up in the air like this is unacceptable. Do you suppose to sit around. Like you have nothing to do but wait for her?

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[stopdog]

I would just cancel and start with the regular schedule after the holidays. I would not leave myself open to the whims of the therapist.

[BayBrony]

That's definitely not right.it is saying that she might fi d something else shed rather do which is not a kind message. You handled it better than I would have for sure. The only time my T has done anything similar was when she has been traveling and is worried there will be a delay . like " I plan to see you Monday but we are going to my dad's house up north and coming home Sunday. if the weather gets bad I.may need to move you to later in the day. Or if she is quite sick she will.let me know a day or two before and tell me she hopes to make it but wants me to know she is sick and if she isn't getting better we might need to reschedule.

[Argonautomobile]

I'd be irritated. Yeah, it's just an off-the-cuff remark, but it would seem to be an awful flippant approach to your care. I'd have canceled, too.

[atisketatasket]

She's kind of jerking the chain here. If she said, "we can schedule for the afternoon of the 31st but I may have to cancel depending on how my husband's surgery the day before goes," that would be OK. Deciding not to work when you've made appointments isn't professional to me.

I wouldn't be hurt by it, but I'd just tell my T let's just cancel that session and start back up the next week. No need to be in limbo. I think your therapist is trying to be open to a session but the effect is really the reverse of what she is intending. Rather than being reassuring, it is causing distress because it is unsure and unpredictable. Just take the initiative and say thanks for the thought, but let's just both take that session off and get back on schedule the next week.

[unaluna]

Yeah - boundaries! Is that my time, your time, or our time? Theres no such thing as maybe time. That just means im on hold until somebody else decides? Thats bs time.

[Permacultural]

I don't think that's cool. You're either working or not on the 31st. Sounds like session time slots are first come, first served.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think she has a responsibility to her clients to not pull "last minute" BS!

Honestly, one of my biggest peeves is when someone has no respect for my time. If someone is going to change their plans, then they should have the decency to let me know ahead of time and not wig out on me at the last minute....ESP if I'm paying for their time.

I know I'm waaaay guilty of making pre-emptive strikes, but in this case I say its warranted to just go ahead and cancel.

You should charge her for a late cancellation. LMAO.

[NowhereUSA]

I'd be annoyed and would probably just tell my T that either I'd like to schedule during a time I know he'd be in (I see a male T) or that I hope he has a good holiday, I'll see him the following week per our regular schedule.

It doesn't matter if you were sitting at home twiddling your thumbs, it's still disrespectful of your time IMO.

[musinglizzy]

Thank you for the replies. She knows I'm sensitive anyway and going through a rough patch in life, I almost feel like she was "testing" me by saying this. Well, like I said, I had a phone consult with a new T tonight, and I have my first session with her next week! So we will see what comes of T1. I'm going to take my time...

[AncientMelody]

Yeah that would irritate me too.

I would just plan on seeing my T the next week. There's no way I'd wait around to see if my T was going to work on that day or not. I think your T was pretty insensitive with that remark.

Yeah for you! - on your responding to such nonsense.

[musinglizzy]

Thank you all. Yes, I saw that as insensitive. Almost seemed purposely insensitive... I mean, jeez, she's a psychologist of 25 years or so. Made me think she said it to see how I would respond to it. I have regular sessions every week. Same day, same time. So I just wanted to confirm with her what would change with my regular schedule. I know she has family out of state, I didn't know if she was going away or not. Well, NYE falls on a Thursday, a normal session day...and for her to say that week is "normal," unless she decides at the last minute to take that afternoon off, really kinda hurt. I've been meaning to bring this up since she Emailed that to me, but I've had some pretty difficult events in my life occur the past couple of weeks, and we have focused on them. I have not had the energy to bring it up. I'm hoping on Thursday, I can. Because I just found that comment as insensitive. She knows me well. And she's GOTTA know something like that would sting. So if she knowingly said that, why would she? I gotta try to bring it up on Thursday.

[divine1966]

She might be want you to be more assertive? Or maybe less dependent on others? Hm hard to tell

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Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Thank you all. Yes, I saw that as insensitive. Almost seemed purposely insensitive... I mean, jeez, she's a psychologist of 25 years or so. Made me think she said it to see how I would respond to it. I have regular sessions every week. Same day, same time. So I just wanted to confirm with her what would change with my regular schedule. I know she has family out of state, I didn't know if she was going away or not. Well, NYE falls on a Thursday, a normal session day...and for her to say that week is "normal," unless she decides at the last minute to take that afternoon off, really kinda hurt. I've been meaning to bring this up since she Emailed that to me, but I've had some pretty difficult events in my life occur the past couple of weeks, and we have focused on them. I have not had the energy to bring it up. I'm hoping on Thursday, I can. Because I just found that comment as insensitive. She knows me well. And she's GOTTA know something like that would sting. So if she knowingly said that, why would she? I gotta try to bring it up on Thursday.

Sorry, I miss understood. I thought you had already responded.

If it were me I would continue this communication by email, and spend my sessions on the events that are causing me the most pain. Then at some point , even if it's after the holidays I would point out how her words affected me.

Good luck.

[musinglizzy]

Walkedthatroad, I did respond. The same day. I told her I am going to just cancel my "possible" session on the 31st, and if she decides to work that afternoon, she can let me know.

I thought I would update. I had a session with T yesterday. I have not brought this up only because my life has turned itself upside down since then, I've had some pretty upsetting things occurring. (putting two horses to sleep in about two weeks). My T brought it up herself yesterday. Not the comment itself, but that she was just updating me, she decided to take the afternoon off of the 31st (my sessions are in the afternoon), but she asked me if I could come in at noon that day. I took it. She offered to stay an hour later to accommodate me. I am thankful, but definitely feeling pressure to make that a "good" session now, since she's staying an hour later just to get me in. So anyway...just wanted to update.

[AncientMelody]

I am so sorry about your horses Lizzy