 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
Dec 20, 2015, 05:24 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I have been looking for a new T for a while and recently saw one who I finally felt was a good match. (
 )The thing is, when I first arrived she didn't smile when introducing herself and it upset me and made me instantly think, "She's cold, this isn't going to work." But actually once we sat down she was quite warm, and as I started to feel more comfortable I started to cry because I was confused, and afraid to trust her because she had seemed cold initially. I decided to tell her why I was crying, and she said she was sorry she hadn't smiled, and she hadn't even realised. I guess I hadn't realised how important it was for me to be greeted with a warm smile. Does anyone else feel this way? Does your T smile? Or maybe they don't, and thats ok for you? |
 baseline, iheartjacques, Tearinyourhand
|
|
#2
Dec 20, 2015, 05:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I have no idea whether the woman smiles at me or not. The few times I know I have seen her smile - it has not been all that warm or useful to me. I would not say it matters to me at all.
I would prefer no smiling, but I suppose the woman is free to smile or not smile as the fancy strikes her.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Dec 20, 2015 at 07:23 PM. |
| iheartjacques, SlumberKitty
|
|
#3
Dec 20, 2015, 05:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
They smile at me. But the first time No. 1 laid eyes on me, no smile. Not even an "are you ATAT?" (Admittedly I was the only one in the waiting room.). Just, "would you like tea?"
Later she went to the opposite extreme, not just smiling but opening her arms wide when she saw me. Egad. Eta: so...I guess the smile is a nice bonus, but I don't regard it as essential. Last edited by atisketatasket; Dec 20, 2015 at 09:25 PM. |
 SlumberKitty
|
|
#4
Dec 20, 2015, 05:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My T usually give me a small smile when she says hello. I think. I don't always pay much attention to it.
My pdoc also smiles when he say hello and also when he says goodbye. They also smile during sessions (when it's appropriate). I like it. If they wouldn't... I think I would think they are cold persons and I wouldn't feel that comfortable. I would feel even more of a burden than I already think I am. |
|
#5
Dec 20, 2015, 05:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
My T smiles and welcomes me happily.
It's ok. She is a bit bonkers, but I like that. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| LonesomeTonight
|
|
#6
Dec 20, 2015, 05:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hi Eleny, I can understand how important it is that you feel comfortable with your therapist. Sounds like your therapist did not realize how important it was to be warm, so that you could open up and trust her.
I agree it is confusing when therapists act cold or don't smile, mine does that sometimes, but eventually I realized it's because she is trying to be neutral and follow my lead. For example she starts off a session neutral then smiles when I smile and looks sad when I cry. My T said, when she doesn't smile/ talk it's because she is thinking about me or something I said. Still, I agree with you that it is scary when therapists seem stern or cold. |
| Eleny
|
|
#7
Dec 20, 2015, 05:40 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I went in with a pretty heavy set of expectations of how we should both be acting, and none of it was smiley. But he is a smiley kind of guy and we eventually talked about where my expectations came from, and how i would like to be going forward.
|
| SlumberKitty
|
| atisketatasket
|
|
#8
Dec 20, 2015, 05:44 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I've had three therapists over a period of time: The first was very serious (not cold or unfriendly), but she didn't smile when I first met her. But I was familiar with her work as a professional in the community so I was determined to stick it out and see if we clicked. My third therapist is very similar to the first--serious, composed, calm and completely unflappable. Although I learned over time that they both had a great sense of humor, they both would wait for me to give the first clue as to how the session would proceed. I liked that!
My second therapist was much more expressive. She was a little bitty thing and she had a wide smile and a "bubbly" personality. I was a bit hesitant when I first met her because all that bubbliness put me off some. But I found her to be a very good therapist and I was glad I gave her more than the first session. Admittedly, when I saw her, I was severely depressed, scraping the bottom so to speak, so I might have needed bubbly
|
| Anonymous37917
|
| brillskep
|
|
#9
Dec 20, 2015, 05:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
When my T comes out to get me she usually smiles. When we sit down in her office she usually smiles and asks how I am.
|
|
#10
Dec 20, 2015, 05:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Mine always smiles when she pops out to get me from the waiting room and I would be really uneasy and confused if she didn't since I heavily rely on facial expressions so yeah it is important to me.
__________________
 Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis  |
|
#11
Dec 20, 2015, 06:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
No, my therapist doesn't usually smile when I get there. Occasionally he may smile when he sees me and he often smiles when we are talking in session (we both have great sense of humor and feel warmth toward each other). When I come in, my therapist is always there at the door to greet me, and that matters to me a lot.
|
| Inner_Firefly
|
|
#12
Dec 20, 2015, 06:57 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My T smiles when she comes to the waiting room to get me, and we smile in session. I'd feel even more anxious if she didn't smile. There are times when we're talking about something more serious, and she doesn't smile as much, and her voice sounds different. That makes me a bit nervous. But when she smiles it makes me happy, and I love it when she laughs.
__________________
"The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." |
| Out There
|
| Inner_Firefly
|
|
#13
Dec 20, 2015, 07:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My T, marriage counselor, and p-doc all smile when they greet me. I'd feel weird if they didn't. I'd say to try another session with this T--could be she was having a bad day or something.
|
|
#14
Dec 20, 2015, 07:13 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
no he never smiles !!!!!
|
|
#15
Dec 20, 2015, 07:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Yup. He's a friendly kind of guy.
|
|
#16
Dec 20, 2015, 07:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yes. She smiles and it's important because I smile at people too
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#17
Dec 20, 2015, 07:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I've never noticed because I'm usually making a beeline for my chair and avoiding looking in her general direction.
I should pay attention when I open the door when I'm chimed in next session. 
|
| AnaWhitney, susannahsays, zoiecat
|
|
#18
Dec 20, 2015, 08:02 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
| zoiecat
|
|
#19
Dec 20, 2015, 08:04 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
My pdoc greets me warmly and asks how I'm feeling and my therapist smiles. I prefer the neutral warm greeting due to me not really feeling happy.
|
| Inner_Firefly
|
|
#20
Dec 20, 2015, 08:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yep, when she pokes her head out of the door (as i briefly glance in her direction), and then whenever i manage to make eye contact in the session she usually gives me a smile.
|
| atisketatasket
|
|
#21
Dec 20, 2015, 08:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Mine always smiles when she greets me. Actually, she smiles a lot. It does make a difference to me, as well as, her expressions when I'm upset.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
|
#22
Dec 20, 2015, 08:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My t smiles when she comes to get me for my session and is a very warm person, so she smiles often but only when it's appropriate. It's important to me that she smiles. I rely a lot on people's facial expressions so I know how they feel and the fact that she smiles when I'm in session with her shows me that she cares and accepts me.
__________________
"You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things." — Jamie Tworkowski |
|
#23
Dec 20, 2015, 09:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My T always smiles when she opens her door and welcomes me in her office. I would feel upset if she did not smile when she came to get me.
|
|
#24
Dec 20, 2015, 09:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I don't think I've ever noticed. He always greets me very warmly, but I dont think he smiles, though I couldn't swear to that. I shall observe this week. We laugh in session, but I feel like he's a little more neutral until we've warmed up - when I first started seeing him I was really very depressed and I almost feel like him smiling would have been slightly overbearing.
|
|
#25
Dec 20, 2015, 09:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My t used to smile upon entry all the time. Once she got to know me, she could pick up on my moods right in the lobby and now greets me accordingly.
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
