[Humpty Dumpty]

I often wonder if I am odd/strange because I prefer female therapists & pdocs. Yes I am a man and no I have never had romantic feelings for any doc of any type.
I just feel that overall women are more compassionate & understanding than men. Ok maybe not understanding but to me I view a man as here is the problem now let me fix the problem. Taking the human element, me, out of it. Yet on the other hand I look at it as well maybe I don't need so much coddling. Maybe if someone was more stern with me I would be so weak. Maybe I do need a good whack upside my head to toughen me up. I'm just confused and feel like I shouldn't be.

[Random]

No, I feel the same way. I just feel more comfortable from the get go. I never feel any attraction either. I have a male therapist right now and I like him, but it took me longer to feel calm and not feel tense.

[Argonautomobile]

No, it's not odd. A lot of men prefer talking with female therapists for just the reasons you stated--a lot of people prefer female therapists in general--when patients express a preference at all, it's usually for a woman. I can link to a really boring peer-reviewed article about it if you like.

That said, I wouldn't assume that your T is 'coddling' you, and, anyway, I don't think therapy is really the place for a tough love attitude. There's plenty of that in wider society already

[JaneTennison1]

I prefer female doctors all round. Male doctors have done nothing but dismiss my fears (which turned out to be well founded) and tell me how I should react to things. It's not bad to have a preference. I'm sure there are female dr's out there just as bad, but I've had some good ones.

[Myrto]

It's fine to have a preference. I prefer female therapists too. I just feel more comfortable with another woman. I don't think women are more or less likely to be understanding, I just feel like a woman will understand me better and I'll be able to relate to her.
The point of therapy is that you should feel comfortable and at ease as much as possible.

I think it's fine to have a preference. I'm female and I've tried both female and male therapists. I have a definite preference for female therapists and I've never had erotic transference to either gender.

I will say that I haven't liked female therapists who were too gushy or "cheerleaderish" (sorry, I realize that is a pretty lousy way of describing what I'm talking about, but couldn't come up with a better description). I want a female therapist who is infinitely calm, serious and unflappable, but one who has a good sense of humor.

[magno11789]

I prefer female doctors, dentists and therapists too. I feel more comfortable and safe around females than males. I am not attracted to females. I feel like my preference for females over males is due to my sexual abuse as a child.

[stopdog]

I only see females who are straight (I am lesbian) and older than I am. I rarely choose a male professional of any sort.

I will only ever see female therapists too.

[atisketatasket]

I prefer female therapists - some of the things I would want to discuss are "female trouble" - but in all other professoons I don't care.

I have found female doctors worse than male ones.

No. We like what we like, even if it includes age, sexual orientation, religion, culture, race, height, weight, etc. You do what you need to do for you. It your healing process.

[ilikecats]

I don't think it's strange at all. I prefer females too. My T is a female, and my pdoc is a male. My pdoc is nice, but I don't care much for him either way. But I adore my T. I'm generally just more comfortable around females, and I feel like I can open up to them more easily.

I am a woman and prefer male Ts. I don't think you are odd/strange at all.

[Walking Man]

I think all guys need a whack upside the head from time to time. It's like a form of respect.
(That goes for guys only.)

In some ways I'm more comfortable with men, as long as they can keep a positive regard for me. I can be more detached and less emotional.

I don't think that I could see a male therapist though. I can be more intimate and expressive with women. I also really need their nurturing and sympathetic nature.

I can't be as vulnerable with men and can't be as objective with women. I suppose neither see the whole me. Seeing a guy would probably be less stressful, but it would also be harder to open up.

[gayleggg]

I used to feel the same and found I liked women best but as it turned out I now have a male pdoc and therapist and am very satisfied with them both.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Stormyclouds]

I prefer male T.
Don't want women exactly for the reason that they can be too nurturing...emotional... gentle etc.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

female Ts for me too. I don't think I need a whack on my head, but you can never tell.

Not odd at all. I am female and have a strong preference for males for therapist, doctors, bosses, mentors, best friends etc etc. The twist is that I am actually bi in terms of my sexual orientation. I have also experienced erotic transference many times in my relationships, feelings that are more driven by the interpersonal situation and role people are in relative to me than the specific person. I do not consider any of this weird, just my personal pattern driven by internal forces.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty

I often wonder if I am odd/strange because I prefer female therapists & pdocs. Yes I am a man and no I have never had romantic feelings for any doc of any type.
I just feel that overall women are more compassionate & understanding than men. Ok maybe not understanding but to me I view a man as here is the problem now let me fix the problem. Taking the human element, me, out of it. Yet on the other hand I look at it as well maybe I don't need so much coddling. Maybe if someone was more stern with me I would be so weak. Maybe I do need a good whack upside my head to toughen me up. I'm just confused and feel like I shouldn't be.

Personally, I love understanding why I do the things I do - getting to know me; so I can really appreciate the thought that you've put into this already.

I am a man who prefers a female therapist as well. We share the same reasoning I believe, though I frame it a bit differently. Women tend to be better communicators than men, so they hear me better. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but I believe that all things being equal - an intelligent, well trained, compassionate woman therapist is more likely to understand me than a equally intelligent, well trained, compassionate man.

And yes, men tend to be fixers. I don't need fixed. If there is any fixing to be done, I'll handle that. I just want to be heard.

I have another reason for preferring a woman to a man, and I'm curious if this reason resonates with you as well. Men are biologically more competitive than women. In social situations, women tend to form communities while men tend to form hierarchies. It takes an enormous amount of effort on my part to try to not compete with a man - to be smarter or "right-er". I think that is biologically inherent in all men, but as an alpha male, the tendency is even stronger. By working with a woman, I don't find the need to compete with her during sessions.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Thanks everyone. I don't feel so "out of place" any more.

[NowhereUSA]

I think we like what we like.

Doctors don't matter to me so long as they do their job well but for a T? I prefer a male T myself (I'm a female).

[ChipperMonkey]

I am female and I prefer male therapists.

Its H*** finding a male therapist, lemme tell ya.

Do what feels comfortable for you.