[precaryous]

I posted this on the Couch thread that exploded (was closed) yesterday. Thought I would put it here.

I guess I'm looking for support, posters who might have had similar experiences...maybe?

Therapy Saturday: I told T I know we need to do a consult with another T and some testing...but I asked her to tell me the absolute truth- even if it was something I didn't want to hear. She said she would.

I asked her if she now thinks I'm on the autism spectrum. She said yes.
She explained why she thinks that but I kind of faded out.
Originally, she said I had CPTSD. Now, she thinks I'm on the high functioning autism spectrum and also have CPTSD.
I asked her a bunch of questions...could this just be old age? Have I just regressed? Etc.

I'm 60 years old. I've seen umpteen therapists. This is the first time anyone has told me something like that. I don't know how to feel..relief to finally have a working explaination, I guess. And sad. And I'm glad to have a new understanding of why things happened the way they did.

I'm not exactly surprised but it does feel a little unreal to hear T say it.

I know I need to consult with a specialist in this area to know for sure..and there's testing to be done....so it might be something else.

My daughter has ADHD and my grandson has ADHD and is high functioning autistic. I guess it makes sense.

Mods, I know I can post on the autism board but i would prefer this post to stay here. Ty.

[Inner_Firefly]

Thank you for sharing. I can imagine, hearing this from your T brought up so many mixed feelings, gladness to have a new understanding, feeling unreal and some sadness also. Let's hope your consult with the specialist brings more clarity, and please keep us updated!

[NowhereUSA]

It can get missed so easily, especially in older clients. My T had a situation like that. Ended up with a client that had a long list of diagnoses and medications. Turns out the guy was on the spectrum.

I'm glad you were able to get some insight though. I hope it helps.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Inner_Firefly

Thank you for sharing. I can imagine, hearing this from your T brought up so many mixed feelings, gladness to have a new understanding, feeling unreal and some sadness also. Let's hope your consult with the specialist brings more clarity, and please keep us updated!

Yes, I will post an update. She said we will look into this further after the New Year. I'm glad to get a consult...because there is a piece of me that has doubts. I mentioned that this was her opinion..and she said that it is not just her opinion...that she also paid attention to how I describe it and how I deal with issues in the world.
I do want an answer, so we'll see.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

It can get missed so easily, especially in older clients. My T had a situation like that. Ended up with a client that had a long list of diagnoses and medications. Turns out the guy was on the spectrum.

I'm glad you were able to get some insight though. I hope it helps.

Exactly a point that she made..that when she and I were kids doctors missed things like this.

I've always had trouble relating in the world. Middle school was horrible. I realized in my twenties I was "immature" (my explanation) but I always thought I would grow out of it. T says that I have adapted and learned through the years which reactions are more socially acceptable so when she first met me, she did not think of me being on the spectrum.

A lot of my social phobia is surrounded by the fear I will do or say something wrong, get told off or feel rejected...so I would rather just stay alone.

[precaryous]

Feeling kind of sad about all of this. It can't be helped but two weeks is a long time to think about it before we tackle testing. Glad the holiday is here to distract me.

My daughter has ADHD and whatever else she has...my grandkidlet has ADHD and high functioning autism. No one else in my family seems to have these things...it makes it my fault they have it, maybe.

If the tests show I am also on the spectrum, I am thinking...do I tell anyone (in my family or friends)? Would that be helpful? I can't help but think the diagnosis would burden/worry my family.

I'm trying to push it all away, for now, and concentrate on being grateful...and doing my best to be cheery and enjoy my family through the holiday.

[Favorite Jeans]

Does it really change anything if they conclude that you have an ASD? Maybe just the way you understand yourself?

It seems like if you're missing skills that would like to have, you could work on developing/learning those skills with or without the diagnosis. If you are having difficulty with certain situations you need to learn how to deal with them or minimize the fallout of avoiding them--that's true with or without ASD.

I don't know if there are ways that a diagnosis would offer you specific accommodations in a workplace or other key environment? Disability support? That could be a benefit.

My thought is: if this diagnosis makes you feel bad, don't pursue unless you clearly have something to gain by having this label. I wouldn't submit to a battery of tests just because they exist and could be done.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

Does it really change anything if they conclude that you have an ASD? Maybe just the way you understand yourself?

It seems like if you're missing skills that would like to have, you could work on developing/learning those skills with or without the diagnosis. If you are having difficulty with certain situations you need to learn how to deal with them or minimize the fallout of avoiding them--that's true with or without ASD.

I don't know if there are ways that a diagnosis would offer you specific accommodations in a workplace or other key environment? Disability support? That could be a benefit.

My thought is: if this diagnosis makes you feel bad, don't pursue unless you clearly have something to gain by having this label. I wouldn't submit to a battery of tests just because they exist and could be done.

Hi Favorite Jeans,
Would it change anything? I think that's why I am posting- trying to figure out where I want to go with this development....I am feeling ambivilant about it.

The pros- I have known something has been different about me for quite sometime. A positive benefit of knowing if I have it is, maybe, peace of mind...giving a name to the issue I am fighting against...

Susan Boyle, an extraordinary singer on the spectrum, was diagnosed later in life...like me. She has said about her recent diagnosis of Aspergers (or being on the spectrum):

"She insists the new Asperger's diagnosis neither defines nor confines her. 'It will not make any difference to my life. It's just a condition that I have to live with and work through.' She hopes, though, that it will lead to people showing greater empathy and understanding towards her and her condition.

'I think people will treat me better because they will have a much greater understanding of who I am and why I do the things I do.'"

A positive could be as Susan Boyle observed- perhaps people will show greater "understanding of who I am and why I do the things I do."
So I see there are a few positives.

But I am asking myself...what else would it mean for me...what else would I do with the information...would it even be an issue I would want to share with my family? I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking about it.

Yes, it would help me make sense of things but I am also feeling a little sad for a few reasons.

I am still in the information-gathering stage. About the tests...T says there is more than one test. I need to find out more them....what they entail. Who would give them and when.

About disability- I am already on disability, but you made a good point about a diagnosis possibly being helpful with that.

I have asked T, if I am diagnosed with this...would she still be my T? Would she refer me away? She said, "No! I will not refer you! I have never had the thought in my mind."

I guess I am looking at the spectrum from a new perspective...and wondering about things.
Adding: Thank you for your comments...they are helping me organize my thoughts about it.