The search for No. 3

I started with a list of about 15 possibilities for a new therapist in a different city for the upcoming spring. I've only managed to make an appointment with one so far.

I eliminated a good number on the basis of things like:
- they can't answer immediately when I ask, "are you taking new clients?" If you're in private practice and running your own business, as these people all are, and you don't know that, and you need to get back to me with an answer, it suggests to me that you are a flake.
- they follow practices I don't think much of, such as having fellow therapists review them online.
- and I know this makes me like Chandler on "Friends," who would dump a woman if she said supposably instead of supposedly, but incorrect use of language on their websites - not talking typos here, but things like using "phase" for "faze." Not cause for elimination on its own, but a strike.

I have four left on the list, not counting the one I made an appointment with. What's giving me pause is that on their websites they each have a statement like: "Ms./Dr. X uses a variety of therapeutic approaches in order to treat each client as they need, and to meet the client where they actually are in life."

Perhaps I've sat on too many college teaching search committees, but I've heard that answer (modified for context, naturally) to the question "How would you describe your approach to teaching?" so many times that I think it's meaningless. It's intended only to sound good, not mean anything.

Surely I'm being harsh here? I did ask one "what does that mean?" only to have the statement repeated back to me in a slightly different form. So, can anyone tell me not what it actually means, but what does such therapy actually look like in practice?

I will say supposably just to see if the other person blinks. I know i say no testing, irregardless sometimes i do!

As for what does this approach mean, i hope it means they are not married to a particular school, or worse, "trained" in an approach or system. Trained to me means like recently trained in a technique - not experienced and knowledgeable and they wrote the book on it.

Oh wow, I didn't realize it was "faze" - I went and googled it (because "faze" looks kind of funny, I never see it, and really... how often do we get to use words with the letter "Z"?!) and of course you're right. Thanks, I'm sure this will save me future embarrassment!

I completely agree with you, that type of "I do it all, whatever is needed" description is very generic and unhelpful.

I wonder if you just need to ask for specificity more... well, specifically? Like...

... "That's great. Could you tell me a little what types of training of therapy you've received training in?"

... "I understand that you personalize treatment. How wonderful! What would you say are the top three modalities you use?"

Or if you know what you want, you could ask directly... "I'm really hoping to find someone with expertise in psychodynamic work. What training have you done in that area? How much experience do you have working with that modality?"

Oh... a fun one could be... "Could you describe a bit how your approach might differ with different clients? How do you identify what type of therapy would work best, and how might that therapy look different to one client, versus another type of therapy you'd use with someone else?"

Personally, I think a big part of this isn't really the actual answers they give... it's HOW they answer. Do they understand the question? Do they show any kind of *deep* understanding of human nature by correctly understanding why you're asking, and addressing that? Are they defensive when you ask about experience or training? How do they handle it if you ask them something they don't know?

At one point, I had been diagnosed by a specialist with a dissociative disorder. In her report, she mentioned that I needed "phase oriented therapy", which I had never heard of. So, upon meeting a potential new therapist (who had experience with dissociative disorders), I asked... "Can you tell me a little about phase oriented therapy? Is that something you do?". The woman got incredibly defensive, and said... "I've been doing therapy longer than you've been alive!".

I wasn't trying to rile her up. I actually had assumed she knew what it was, and was genuinely looking for help in understand the report. Her response really shocked me. It seems like a therapist should have a bit more self-control than that, and should be able to admit that they don't know something. Needless to say, I didn't end up working with that one!

Good luck! I hope you can find someone helpful!

Generic "I do whatever" kind of stuff is best suited for those who have no diagnosable disorder; those who have problems along the lines of "I don't like to go to work on Mondays!" For those of us with a specific disorder, I honestly think it's best to find someone who specializes in the type (or few types) of therapy that works well in treating your specific issue. A therapist who cherry picks pretty much means they have a shallow knowledge of many types of therapy and I need someone with in depth knowledge. There's a reason why certain skills, activities, etc fall under the same type of therapy.....they are proven to work well together. Cherry picking from many therapies offers little consistency and continuity. (Coupled with the fact that differing therapies oftentimes clash, i.e. CBT vs ACT.)