Article: Psychotherapy as a Cult

Not to pare your (very nicely thought-out) post to a single sentence...But I'm very curious about this....

This idea that clients are encouraged to become totally vulnerable and invest total trust in their T's has come up a lot in this thread--and elsewhere. I'm not denying that this is encouraged, to a certain extent--I get that, theoretically, this is how therapy is supposed to work--or at the very least that one is supposed to be safe giving oneself fully to one's therapist, but I'm curious how this idea actually plays out in people's personal experience of therapy.

I've lied, admitted to lying, dodged questions, outright refused to answer others, turned down invitations to open up more, and just generally put limits on how vulnerable, truthful, or trusting I will be in therapy. I have never been scolded for doing so, been told anything like "you have to trust me/be honest with me/ be vulnerable for this to work."

Frankly, that response would kind of ick me out. My T's reaction to my being less than honest/trusting/vulnerable has always been more along the lines of "Sorry if that question/comment was intrusive. My bad. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Do T's actually overtly scold clients for maintaining autonomy? Overtly say things like "you have to trust me?" Do even otherwise good, ethical T's do this?

This question is open to all. I'm REALLY curious to know people's experiences.

This is a good point. I've been reading the thread, just not posting. My T has never said to me anything even close to suggesting I should open up and be vulnerable with her. Once, when I was really struggling at telling her something difficult, she told me that I can talk about anything and she will try as much as possible to make me feel safe enough to do so. But, that was only prompted because I was obviously struggling with wanting to tell her something.

The only thing that she's "done" to encourage me to share my feelings is by being extremely consistent in her demeanor. No matter what I say, or however shut down I am, she is calm and radiates this sense of that it is ok for me to be however I am, and THAT is what helps me. It isn't anything specifically said or done, just this sort of calm energy that feels ok to me.

Yes, nicely put. Same for me. I don't think my T has even said explicitly "you can tell me anything," let alone "You should tell me anything."

The first one I see has disparaged me for not trusting her. The second has never used the word trust.

I have never had a T chastise me for not trusting them. In my experience, they have expected that a client not trust them at first. Trust may come over time, or may not but that decision always been respected. I would run far from any T who acts any differently. My most recent T said once that if a client didn't trust her at all, then she is probably not the right T for them.

Excellent post. The fact that it is considered controversial or contentious to say that therapists, as a group, are not necessarily any smarter or more insightful or more aware than clients… that I find startling.

I would expect majority of therapists to have more knowledge of psychological and behavioral theory than I do. Not sure how much that is of benefit to the client since therapy is not really about demonstrating theoretical knowledge (though it is obviously relevant). Therapy seems to be more about insights into life, insights into the self, advice and instruction, confession, role playing, power struggles, and so on.

As for the rational reason thing, I feel same way. Even when people describe transformative therapy, I never understand the how or why. Maybe just the relationship itself. But that for me is a big risk, given that the relationship is so murky and tenuous.

Just because someone hasn't had a bad experience in therapy doesn't mean it doesn't happen; otherwise, there would be no need for 50 signs of bad therapy, or an organization like TELL to help victims. I found this TELL article by a therapist very honest and affirming: Gag Orders in Civil Litigation | TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

I may have misunderstood you. I certainly have my blind spots. Have to say that I don't understand the above post at all though. True that you cant control how people perceive what you say, but maybe you could say it with a bit less ambiguity and a bit more precision.

I don't think therapy is a cult either. I just think the comparison yields some interesting things and there are enough similarities for concern. The dynamic of therapist-client is, in my opinion, closer to guru-disciple than almost any other that I can think of.

I do think mainstream medicine has cultic aspects. Blind faith, like you said, and entrenched and unquestioned dogma. But doctors are not typically probing into the deepest corners of the psyche, or so closely approximating the role of primary caretaker, or withholding information in sometimes unsettling and confusing ways, or having such a powerful psychological and emotional impact on the patient.

Oh for sure. That's one of the main reasons I feel so traumatized myself. I have trusted few people, got close to few people. So was a big risk to trust main T the way I did, and then she betrayed that trust in confusing and devastating ways. Clearly the need for some people to speak out about this, as a way of coping, clashes with the needs of others. Not sure what to say about that, other than we have to co-exist.

I would agree with all that.

Yes I think about it that way also. I have lots of self-disgust for all the drama I am caught up in around therapy. But there is something about seeking help for serious issues and then having that relationship, of all things, turn into yet another source of pain and anguish. For some this might be the breaking point.

I agree. Great post.

Nicely put. I like, though, when we can do more than just co-exist. I've personally found that following your threads, posting & talking with you and others who've had negative therapy experiences has really evolved my thinking about all of this A LOT. Not that I think you (or anybody else) are posting for MY benefit or anything like that--clearly one's own healing comes first--But I'm still very grateful that this dialogue has come out on PC.

This comment makes me think my original post (About being burned being an unfortunate hazard of being human) was not particularly sensitive or applicable to the situation at hand. I don't think any self-disgust you feel is fair, or that having a negative therapy experience really falls into some "**** happens" category of life. It's pretty damn horrifying to think that being burned by a PROFESSIONAL who is SUPPOSED TO HELP is an "oh well, life is hard" sort of thing. You're right that for some people it might be a breaking point; I'm pretty sure that for me it would have been.

So, thank you, BudFox, for this thread and for your thought-provoking responses.

Gore Vidal said there is nothing more debasing than the work of those who do well what is not worth doing at all.

I think its lovely that everything you say is so brilliantly clear.

Eta - "you do you". THATS supportive.

I've never had a T scold me. But the T I had the problems with did actively encourage me to reveal a lot and to trust her. And because I was developing overpowering feelings for her, and she was enthusiastically feeding off that, there was a lot of covert stuff she did to draw vulnerability and trust out of me -- listening intently, becoming emotionally involved, lavishing attention (love bombing), singling me out as special.

For me, having gone through much of life feeling misunderstood and disconnected and deprived, to be with someone who finally at least appeared to really understand me and care… that is what really did it. Broke down my defenses.

And then she turned it all against me. The very feelings she had seduced me into revealing were cited as the reason she was now going to abandon me.

1) I'm sorry this happened, Budfox. A question that comes to mind, if you care to answer is, have non-therapy relationships turned out this way for you?
2) Have you had a male therapist, and if so, has something similar happened?
I would understand if you did not want to answer this on the forum.

Forgive the late comment: the first psychiatrist I saw told me I needed shock therapy, ECT. When I asked how it worked he told me ECT would get rid of the bad memories but keep the good ones. I was 20 and had excellent coverage through BCBS.

I told him, no.

1) Thanks. I haven't had that many close relationships of any type so not a lot to compare to. But no have never had a relationship like this. I can speculate about parallels with my mother, but that seems like stating the obvious.

2) I have had a few male T's but not for long enough to form any sort of attachment. There was zero drama though. And with all other female Ts, likewise zero drama.