[guilloche]

This is such a weird thing, but I really could use some input.

My T recently moved into his own office (his bought space in a building). He's excited and happy, naturally.

I hate it. The biggest problem that I'm having is that I can *hear* people in an adjoining office. This is not someone he knows, it's not someone within his office space, but another office that shares a wall.

It sounds like another therapist, maybe? I can hear two people talking... I can't make out the words, but it's loud enough to be a noticeable distraction, I can hear the up-and-down tone of voice, laughing, and "ooooooh!" sounds.

My T can't hear most of this (his hearing is not as good as mine), though he sometimes will catch a brief snippet. I have to think that most of his other clients either can't hear it, or haven't mentioned it.

We've tried a white noise machine, me sitting farther from that wall (opposite end of the room), etc. Nothing helps.

It feels AWFUL. It feels like.. what the heck? How do you feel safe and private when you can hear people giggling next door? I hate it.

I offered to politely knock on the wall, to indicate that the neighbors were being too loud (not bang! But a polite "knock knock knock" to let them know they were audible) but T was very against that idea. He was going to talk to the person in that office, but he didn't . I feel like he cares more about how this anonymous neighbor feels than me.

Any thoughts? Have you experienced this before? Is it crazy? Am I?

It seems to me that this should be a no-brainer, of course you should have the feeling of privacy, and not hear other people in therapy. I can't understand why my T doesn't get that this is a big deal???

I am sad.

Yes, in the hospital clinic I go to, which has bare consulting rooms, you can hear people walking down the hallway, muffled talking and the chimes the clinicians use.

It's quite uncomfortable. I can relate. Sorry your T isn't better about this!

Yes, I can hear people on the other side of my therapist's wall on occasion. She has a private office and I know that the office next door is NOT a therapist's office but it still bugs me that I can sometimes hear people talking on the other side. It is usually when I'm having a moment of frustration and not able to articulate what I want to say or when my mind goes BLANK, so the noise from the other office irritates me even more. I can sincerely sympathize with you.

[Argonautomobile]

Ah, that sounds dreadful. Mention it again, maybe your T can talk to the neighbor. I'm sure he doesn't care more about the neighbor than you.

I'm at a community health clinic, and can hear EVERYTHING. People walking up and down the hallways. People talking in the next room. Babies crying. The plumbing when somebody turns on the water fountain. The phone has never not rung during session.

What can you do? I just try and tune it out.

[NowhereUSA]

Yes. In general it's just muffled but once or twice we could really hear them though not enough to make out more than every few words (it was another T and a client). T and I had a good chuckle at trying to keep on with our own conversation while having another one punctuating. At one point I think the other T said something during a lull in our own and she actually made a fair point (with regards to my own session even though she was responding to her own client).

[atisketatasket]

No - I can hear people in other offices at work, or talking in the halls, but never in a medical office or therapist's office.

At work it can be distracting, but I'm pretty good at tuning background noise out if I'm in a focussed mood.

Do other clients of his complain about the noise? Is there any other part of his space where you could meet? Could he borrow another office for your sessions? Does he do weekend sessions or do the people next door take a lunch break and could you schedule with him then?

Eta: if you can't make out most of their words, they probably can't make out yours, either.

[ilikecats]

I can faintly hear things through the walls sometimes, but not very much. Definitely not any words. It doesn't bother me, but if I could hear actual conversations, it totally would. I remember the first time I went there my T asked if the noise through the walls bothered me, and offered to put on a noise machine. I didn't think it was at all necessary though, since I couldn't hear much anyways. Sorry you can hear so much!

[stopdog]

Sometimes I can hear noise from other people but I can't usually hear actual words or conversation, just sounds. It doesn't really bother me.

[musinglizzy]

yes, and I hate it. While I'm all sullen and shut down,there's often loud talking and laughter from the other side of the wall.

[magno11789]

Yes, there are two other therapists in the building. Sometimes I can hear footsteps. I don't usually hear talking. Thankfully she has a white noise machine outside the door. Sometimes it bothers me to hear the footsteps especially at the start of a session.

[Ad Intra]

Surprisingly, no, thought her office neighbors will slam their doors. I go to a community mental health center and

[Pennster]

I wonder could you experiment with additional white noise machines? I have had similar troubles in the past, and my therapist put in a couple of machines- one outside the door so I feel less likely to be heard, and another one in the office so I don't hear other people. That solved the problem for me but I wonder is there anything else you might try- you can get a white noise app if you have a smartphone so maybe having that really close to you would help as well? Just a thought.

I found it very disturbing to hear other people, so I relate. I would keep complaining about it until I was happy with the situation. I think it's a really big deal if it bothers you.

[Miswimmy1]

I had one therapist where I could hear her conversations with the person before me from the waiting room. I told her when she came to get me and she thanked me for telling her. She got one of those noise reducer things that look like an upside down margarine tub that sort of makes a whirring noise like a fan. You put it on the floor and it does something to divert sound waves or something. They are relatively cheap I think.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T has a private office. I can hear the people outside sometimes. One day was horrible. The T's kids, next door, were laughing and playing right outside the door. I didn't say anything because I'm not good at processing things in the moment. But most the time everything is quiet. The white noise machine outside the office door really helps.

[brillskep]

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling safe in your therapist's office.

Any change like this can be potentially unsettling, particularly in therapy. I have somewhat of the same issue with my therapist's office that he moved into a year ago - this is the first office where there are also other people and I don't feel safe that they can see me come in and go out or that I can hear loud talking while discussing deeply personal things in therapy. I can actually make out the words sometimes and I'm afraid they can hear us too, even though my therapist always plays music in the waiting room so that they don't hear us. I feel especially exposed because a mutual colleague of mine and my therapist's also has her office there and it's not someone I know well and I certainly do not want her to know where and when I go to therapy. So you're not alone in being dissatisfied with the office space and feeling invaded in some way.

I wonder if you've tried to figure out what is bothering you the most, what your fears are specifically, and in what ways you feel exposed exactly. Do you feel like those people you are hearing are in your space? Are the strange voices a distraction? Do you worry they might hear you as well? I find it helps if I know what it is that I need and how that is frustrated exactly.

[Chummy]

I could have written this. My T has moved to another workplace and the office she has now thinner walls or something. Sometimes we could hear other people. Not what they say, but we can hear them talking. My T doesn't really know where it comes from, probably from the room above her? My T also doesn't like it.
There's also a T in the room next to hear, but so far I haven't heard talking from there. But when I'm sitting in the waiting room, I can hear voices from that T's room. I can make out about half of what they are saying.

But I really don't like it when I'm in session and I can hear talking from outside the room.

At the place where I see my pdoc, the office he has has also very thin walls. I can hear noise from the office next to him, which is also from a T. I've heard at several appointment a crying baby from there. Which is really annoying and distracting. In sessions with T is would be worse, I only see pdoc for meds, but still.

She practiced out of her house, and the only noises I heard were dogs barking, kids playing, and the train whistles. It did bother me once, when one particular dog was having a howling fit. We stopped to talk about it, because I was distressed. Of course, it lead back to the mother.

[brillskep]

Originally Posted by Pennster

I would keep complaining about it until I was happy with the situation. I think it's a really big deal if it bothers you.

I have done that and not only did my therapist not bring in any device to remedy the situation, but he actually got a little irritated and mentioned how other clients don't mind it. He turns up the volume of the radio in the waiting room, but at least I can still hear the louder conversations and laughter. Plus on one occasion I came in before he was done with the previous client and I could hear from the waiting room what they were talking about (so I waited in the hallway, but others may not do that). Not sure if we are heard too but it feels like it. I certainly hope OP's therapist is more willing to make necessary adjustments.

Thankfully, my T's office does not share walls with any other offices. And he has enough white noise machines to cover up any possible noise in the hallway or outside. I'm easily distracted, so I'm glad he has a good setup.

[guilloche]

Oh wow, thanks. I'm really surprised that so many other people deal with a similar situation. I've seen a lot of Ts in the past, and I can't ever remember noticing anything like this. It just seems *nuts* to me... like, a cornerstone of the therapeutic experience is privacy, and it feels very "not private" when you can hear other people in the room!

He has tried to work with me. We used another office once, but he said that he doesn't want to get into the habit of doing that, b/c he's actually renting out that office to another therapist who hasn't started coming in yet. It's kind of awful, b/c I really liked that office SO much better than the one my T picked (even though it's much smaller)... my T sold some of his furniture from his old waiting room to this other-T, and it's all in there! It's so much more comfortable and cozy, and the big fluffy couch is right next to a window! We walked in, and I was like... "OMG! The couch! Why is your couch here!"

I think that the noises bug me in part b/c I don't tune out background noise very well. I work from home now, so it's not a problem, but it was a huge stressor for me when I worked in an office. And, the other part is, it just feels "not private". It's hard for me to process my own thoughts and feelings when there's this stream of oohs and aahs and sounds from so nearby.

I also think, as I mentioned, that my T should have dealt with this. He said he was going to talk to the person from that office... then didn't. He had expected her to be at some sort of social thing the building was having, I think, and she didn't show up. But, seriously, he could have gone on knocked on her door. It sucks. I hate the new office, and I feel rotten for hating it, when I know my T is excited and happy about having his own space. I feel like a brat, but it's really... much less comfortable than his previous office.

Thanks... again, I'm surprised this is such a common thing!

[baseline]

My T office in in with a very big medical practice. I hear children screaming and crying. We are frequently interrupted by other staff members wanting to speak to him. It breaks my concentration and ability to go on after the interruptions, He always apologizes, but it just reminds me how little I matter really. probably won't stay much longer anyway.

[Mike_J]

I can hear that people are talking in the room next door in my therapist's new office, but can't make out the words. So I assume that unless someone has a glass to the wall they can't hear our conversation either.

[kecanoe]

One of my ts had an office where you could hear people checking in and out at the front desk. It was quite disturbing to me, and to her as well. She asked for and eventually got a different office, so then I had to get used to the new office. It's worth the trade off. Now we sometimes hear someone walking by, but that doesn't bother me.

[AnxiousGirl]

Usually I get to my T's office about 30 min early (scared to be late) and I hear the conversation between my T and the client before me. I try so hard to tune it out because I mean I dont want to listen to someones private conversation. It does make me uncomfortable so usually I either leave the waiting area or talk to a friend on the phone. Doubt anyone can hear my conversation with T because of how silent and shy I am though !

No we work in a room upstairs in T's home. I do hear sounds. T's son coming out the bathroom, front door shutting. Neighbours outside. But that becomes part of the therapy too. Life cannot be seperate from therapy. What happens is contained with the T. Or else we'd spend a sessions like am elephant squealing at the mouse standing on the couch.