[Petra5ed]

Do you think a therapist can become a trigger just by virtue of their relationship with you if you were someone who had a difficult upbringing with your parents?

If they aren't skilled at handling the therapeutic relationship and the issues a client brings, then it can become a replay of past relationships for the client, but a healthy therapeutic relationship should provide healing and growth for the client, and this is largely dependent on the skill of the therapist and their self-awareness and honesty in admitting when they can't help.

[Partless]

Yes, Petra, but I think that's how transference develops. Like we see something of our parents or past relationships in T, in their face, their manner, tone of voice, their power over us in some situations, etc.

I've seen my mother in most my therapists. Sometimes it's really the things they do that's so similar but sometimes it's just the situation. As a kid I confided in her. So here are some strangers who ask me to confide in them. As a kid I was vulnerable to her and she knew my tendencies. Again, here is a therapist who reminds me, Oh you're repeating an old pattern here!

Unfortunately, when you come in contact with some of those stronger triggers, sometimes a therapist may not be aware of it. It might take them a while and through their own countertransference work, before they can figure out what's going on. That's happened to me quite a few times.

Of course, unless I misunderstood the question, and you meant something more threatening, like an abusive or incompetent therapist or maybe a person who as a whole is just one giant trigger....

[Argonautomobile]

Yeah, if you have really intense transference, it can be impossible to work with a T. All they do is remind you of X, and that can't always be overcome.

[Lauliza]

Yes I believe this is possible sometimes. I tend to think it's most likely if there are romantic feelings involved on the part of the client (or even the T). Most othe types of transference can be worked through with a good T, but with erotic transference I don't think it's always possible.

[musinglizzy]

The thought of my T triggers my emotions all the time.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Yes when there is intense transference. They can trigger a feeling that you never had with anyone else, that you so desperately want but can't have.

Yes. My first ever counselor was an older male of the same race who is Christian.

I would have nightmares of him in the days leading up to our appointments.

In sessions, I was extremely anxious and would scratch my arms.

Even sitting in silence was extremely difficult and I couldn't even look at him for even 3 seconds. He ended sessions extremely because I could barely speak.

I only had 4 sessions with him and then he referred me to a hospital outpatient clinic.

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

Do you think a therapist can become a trigger just by virtue of their relationship with you if you were someone who had a difficult upbringing with your parents?

That's called transference

Yes definitely, that is the case with my therapy.

[Merecat]

I think it's possible, not just due to transference - in that I don't think it's always about projecting feelings about someone else on to them. If you've had difficult attachment relationships or experienced abuse in close interpersonal relationships, the closeness and intimacy of the therapeutic relationship can in and of itself be quite triggering. It's happened with me where close relationship = abuse or rejection - not because one of my past relationships were like that but because so many were, I equated closeness with abuse generally. It takes a very skilled T to work through that.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Originally Posted by Merecat

I think it's possible, not just due to transference - in that I don't think it's always about projecting feelings about someone else on to them. If you've had difficult attachment relationships or experienced abuse in close interpersonal relationships, the closeness and intimacy of the therapeutic relationship can in and of itself be quite triggering. It's happened with me where close relationship = abuse or rejection - not because one of my past relationships were like that but because so many were, I equated closeness with abuse generally. It takes a very skilled T to work through that.

^^^ exactly this. Abandonment, rejection, fear of secretly being disliked.