[Lemon]

There was a thread recently in which several people were writing about how they say "I don't know" frequently in therapy (I'm one of them). And how their T's either gently pushed or encouraged them to figure out how they felt.

This has been worrying me lately because of some issues in my couples therapy that 'I don't know' what I feel about these issues. My T and I discussed this today in individual and I feel so much better. She said it was ok right now for me to not know the answer about how I feel. She said that I didn't have to make a decision and just take the time to experience things and I'd know when the time was right to "know".

I hope this made sense, I just wanted to share because I was feeling a lot of pressure to come to a decision about how I felt and T gave me permission to take more time even if that in itself is going to be uncomfortable for awhile.

[sunrise]

That is great advice from your T, Lemon. It made a lot of sense to me. Sometimes we are the ones who put the most pressure on ourselves.

When I was working with my first therapist at the beginning of this whole thing (journey to divorce), I asked her when I would know when the time was right to get the divorce, because I felt unable to move forward with it. I was totally stuck. She said she didn't know, but that I would know, and would do it when the time was right. That answer seemed vague and frustrating at the time but also gave me permission to quit pressuring myself to do something I was not ready for. Now I see she was right, that eventually I did know when the time was right to start the process, and I did it.