[qwertykeyboard]

I just came across T on okcupid. I dont kno what to do. They have so much info on their profile I know way more about them than I should know with my level of transference for t. There's no way I can talk to T about this bc the stuff on there is actually like super personal, esp with the questions they ask. I just feel so weird now.

Yikes!!!

[Loco4]

I think you should tell t, especially if it's bothering you. It's t's responsibility to protect her privacy, and this information was out there freely available.

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[Inner_Firefly]

That must feel so weird! Wow!

[Focus62]

Uhm...I hate to worry you, but I'm pretty sure that they can tell who looked at their profile. They might see your picture (assuming you have one) associated with your screen name. I think The only way they wouldn't be able to see you visited their profile is if you use incognito mode which is only available for the people who pay to use the service.

[divine1966]

Well they are people just like everyone else so they might be using dating sites. It's uncomfortable but not that uncommon. I've seen people on dating sites whom I knew in real life. I wouldn't pay attention to it

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[growlycat]

That was poor planning on T's part. They should know to be careful with social media . Patients get curious!!

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by growlycat

That was poor planning on T's part. They should know to be careful with social media . Patients get curious!!

Should they not date? Maybe I don't understand the issue. Why is it a concern?

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[growlycat]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Should they not date? Maybe I don't understand the issue. Why is it a concern?

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they can use social media but they need to know how to lock down accounts or make accounts anonymous

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by growlycat

they can use social media but they need to know how to lock down accounts or make accounts anonymous

Isn't it dating site? if you are looking for a date, then you can be anonymous only up to a point, you'd have your real picture there, obviously fake screen name etc If you are making yourself visible for potential dates then why would you lock it down?. I agree that posting something inappropriate like advertise sex is a bad idea but just regular dating profile? I still don't see how it's bad.

Maybe I just don't know what was posted. If it is provocative like sexual fantasies etc then it's a bad idea for professionals to say it online. I wouldn't want my students parents to read some inappropriate stuff about me but regular dating profile wouldn't be s big deal

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[Lauliza]

I saw my pdoc on match.com a few years ago. I never told him because like you I was worried about his privacy (even my social worker friend advised me not to say anything). Match is like okcupid in thy they can see who looked at their profile, so he knew I saw it, but because it is his job to protect my privacy as s client, he never said anything. It did eventually become a non issue for me and we seemed to come to an understanding where he's reference his knowledge of online dating indirectly. It may be too difficult for you to keep it in - and if it's bothering you you shouldn't. If it's not addressed it will become the elephant in the room and your therapy may be less and less helpful (especially if you have major transference).

It's a weird situation for a lot of Ts who are dating since they of course have the right to date like everyone else. My pdoc was the one who suggested I try online dating in the first place - and then went on himself a month later. He was much more savvy (and sensitive, I think) than your T in that he only posted a photo and info he was comfortable with clients seeing. It may have also been to avoid encouraging transference.

We were both off the site for a bit then both back on and I saw his profile again - this time with a much more personal write up and a shirtless photo! That is when I realized he was very purposeful in keeping the original profile kind of bland. He probably got fewer responses but it is the downside of being in the field. They always need to take clients into consideration when putting themselves out there on a public site.

[CeCe333]

I doubt he/she will bring up the "I saw that you looked at my okcupid profile" even if he/she noticed that you saw it

Just keep your extra knowledge to yourself

[RedSun]

I can't think of anything helpful to say, just
Arrggghhhhh!
I feel for you!

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Ignore it. Their private life is their own.