[clairelisbeth]

I just found out that my T has a family member who is sick and she's going to need to take some time off (exact amount is to be determined, but as of now, it's at least a month). I feel so sad knowing that she's likely hurting and scared. I love her, and I wish that my role in her life was different so that I could be there to support her. I'm also scared and sad knowing that she'll be out for awhile, because I need her too. I feel really selfish for feeling this way. We're still going to be in contact via text (I said that I don't want to bother her and she said "no! Bother me! Promise you'll bother me?"), which means a lot. We usually text at least once a day. But I won't be having a proper session for awhile. I'm afraid of what will happen if her family member doesn't have a good outcome-if he dies. What will happen to my T? Will she be different? What if she doesn't come back to work at all? (Again, I feel like a total jack*** even wondering these things). I miss her already. This is so hard.

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[ejayy78]

My t took 3 weeks off when her brother died. The first thing I said when she told me she had to take time off was that it sucked that I wasn't going to get to see her because at first she didn't know how long she would be out. It was like the words spilled out before I could stop them and I immediately felt like the most insensitive jerk ever. She wasn't upset by what I said and said feeling that way was understandable.

Your t sounds very kind for allowing so much contact while she will be gone. I only heard from my t once during her break, but for me, it was fine. I think your t will be okay. I would imagine if her family member does die, she would take the necessary time she needs to grieve properly. My t came back soon after her brother died, but didn't take back her full case load at first. She didn't bring her grief into my sessions and even though I knew she had to be sad, my sessions were never any different. She was fully attentive and worked in the same way she did before.

I'm only speaking from my own experience when my t had a family member die. All therapists are different. I hope everything goes well for you

Maybe text her 'how are you holding up?' Or 'hope all is well with you.' That way you don't feel guilty. Also, text her a song like 'brave' 'follow your arrow' or other cheerful things to make her smile. Text her jokes, keep it light. She might not be up for sad things if she's primary caretaker. See if you can do anything. Ask her if she's eating and sleeping regularly. And tell her it'll be ok and be open if she needs an ear/should to cry to/on.

I understand how hard it is. Four years ago my t had a family emergency and had to move "for a few weeks" to another part of the world. She hasnt come back home yet because the emergency is ongoing. I hate it. She comes home to visit once a year and one time i went to see her. But we cant have regular sessions anymore because she never knows when she will be available. And its hard to only talk on the phone, not in person. I have been praying for years now that this family "emergency" would calm down so she can come home. She really wants to come home but cant yet. It is very very hard without her.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by indanthrenegecko

Maybe text her 'how are you holding up?' Or 'hope all is well with you.' That way you don't feel guilty. Also, text her a song like 'brave' 'follow your arrow' or other cheerful things to make her smile. Text her jokes, keep it light. She might not be up for sad things if she's primary caretaker. See if you can do anything. Ask her if she's eating and sleeping regularly. And tell her it'll be ok and be open if she needs an ear/should to cry to/on.

That's really inappropriate though, isn't it? Common courtesy, yes, but clients aren't meant to be the caretakers and be a shoulder to cry on.

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

That's really inappropriate though, isn't it? Common courtesy, yes, but clients aren't meant to be the caretakers and be a shoulder to cry on.

OP said she texts her t almost daily. Obviously their relationship is different. If you know someone long enough, you get corncerned about them and care for them. Op can, if she wants to, express worry for her t, especially if she feels guilty/anxious that her t is going through something tough.

OP, what do you and your text about? Random things? Things bothering you
?

[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by indanthrenegecko

OP said she texts her t almost daily. Obviously their relationship is different. If you know someone long enough, you get corncerned about them and care for them. Op can, if she wants to, express worry for her t, especially if she feels guilty/anxious that her t is going through something tough.


OP, what do you and your text about? Random things? Things bothering you

?

There's a specific thing that I struggle with, and I text her to check in with her about my progress.

I've told her that I'm thinking about her and praying for her, but I haven't asked any questions via text.

I miss her so much. This is so painful.

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